Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Have you been in a romantic relationship with another Aspie?

Page 2 of 3 [ 44 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,116
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

11 Nov 2024, 10:36 pm

^I don't think you can have one without the other...



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,702
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

12 Nov 2024, 10:45 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
^I don't think you can have one without the other...

Apparently there are people on the asexuality spectrum who are looking for soul mates but don't want physical intimacy with them. A lot of ASD women would seem to be in this situation.


_________________
My WP story


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

13 Nov 2024, 7:26 pm

No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,045

13 Nov 2024, 7:44 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


Are you actually a crappy partner, or might this be a self-esteem issue? :chin:


_________________
“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face” - Franz Kafka


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia

13 Nov 2024, 8:15 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


Are you actually a crappy partner, or might this be a self-esteem issue? :chin:


I'm a terrible partner, according to my partner. But maybe I should take her views with a grain of salt.

(also I have pretty low self-esteem)


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Elwyn
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2024
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 205
Location: Western Washington, USA

15 Nov 2024, 1:05 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.



I feel like I am a difficult partner. Lots of miscommunication and sensitivities that send me into meltdowns, which is not fun for anyone.



Elwyn
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2024
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 205
Location: Western Washington, USA

15 Nov 2024, 1:06 am

Rhapsody wrote:
So, nobody I've been in a romantic relationship with was diagnosed autistic or ADHD, but I had my suspicions and so did they. In my case the communication issues were compounded. I was bad at communicating. They were bad at communicating. We bad communicated ourselves into breakups. :skull:

I've never dated anybody who was NT to compare so I have no way of knowing if I'd prefer them, but it's entirely possible I'd just bad communicate myself into another breakup. Since I'm the common denominator.


Aw, that's what I was wondering... if the communication issues could be compounded.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

17 Nov 2024, 1:48 pm

i would only be open to one just as long as she is either not asexual or just doesn't have issues/problems with sex/intimacy.



Conspiracy
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 59
Location: Wales

19 Nov 2024, 8:50 am

Yeah, a 10 year relationship and it wasn’t good lol it lasted way longer than it ever should have too.



Velorum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2020
Age: 66
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,363
Location: UK

19 Nov 2024, 1:06 pm

Im married to an AuADHD person.

Our profiles are way different but we understand each other well and it works just fine.

Its the first time Ive been in a relationship where there are no issues or conflicts about personal space, jealousy or emotional blackmail and manipulation.

For us, it works.


_________________
Diagnosed: ASD, hEDS, MCAS, ARFID
Retired specialist neurodevelopmental clinician
Member of Autistic & LGBTQ+ communities in South West UK
Trustee at Cornwall Pride charity & Coordinator at Kernow Neurodivergent Artists network


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

19 Nov 2024, 4:50 pm

yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,568
Location: Right over your left shoulder

19 Nov 2024, 5:06 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.


So, you seem to be admitting that there was intimacy, just not of the type you were hoping for.


_________________
There's no such thing as a free market.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,116
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

19 Nov 2024, 6:12 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.


Maybe they just aren't ready for the next step?

Some people on the spectrum (and even neuro-typicals!! !) are not comfortable with full-on sex and intimacy so they need to be eased into it VERY VERY VERY ***slowly***...



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,702
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

19 Nov 2024, 10:04 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Maybe they just aren't ready for the next step?

Some people on the spectrum (and even neuro-typicals!! !) are not comfortable with full-on sex and intimacy so they need to be eased into it VERY VERY VERY ***slowly***...

It happens I've never had that experience with anyone of any neurotype. Not that you're wrong, I just haven't experienced it personally. I've only gotten "pushback" from people who weren't that interested in me, or had lost interest.


_________________
My WP story


Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,395

20 Nov 2024, 10:34 am

No, but my partner of 5 years is ADHD, so there's a bit of overlap.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,214
Location: California, United States

20 Nov 2024, 5:30 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.


So, you seem to be admitting that there was intimacy, just not of the type you were hoping for.


That doesn't count as intimacy to me