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calandale
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10 Sep 2007, 10:06 pm

It's just that you brought it up twice.

Todd489
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10 Sep 2007, 10:06 pm

If it is, I don't get it. I've never been attracted to an asian girl in my life.

calandale
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10 Sep 2007, 10:07 pm

Todd489 wrote:

If it is, I don't get it. I've never been attracted to an asian girl in my life.

I've seen one, who is probably the
most beautiful woman I've met.

But, attracted wasn't quite the
right word - there was no desire
at all, on my part. Just tears at
her beauty.

techstepgenr8tion
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10 Sep 2007, 10:25 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

Why you are so jealous of asian girls?

Well, think about it - its hard to compete with someone who can love you long time.

techstepgenr8tion
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10 Sep 2007, 11:17 pm

Julie, I agree though - I think its more in the sense that people get disheartened when they see stuff like that. If your a guy who prefers brunettes, who's to say there aren't blonds you'd really be into, or redheads for that matter; yeah, it may be true most of the time but you don't want to exclude, it opens you to too many regrets. That and its almost impossible to even break ones own sense of attraction down into terms that simple. Best to just meet people and figure it out then rather than to give people your specs.

Kilroy
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10 Sep 2007, 11:31 pm

ohhh red head
I like all shades of hair and eyes (no weird hair colours though) :lol:
I get what you mean :wink:

calandale
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10 Sep 2007, 11:33 pm

I like weird hair colors.
I especially like dying someone's
hair.

techstepgenr8tion
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10 Sep 2007, 11:38 pm

calandale wrote:

I like weird hair colors.
I especially like dying someone's
hair.

Heh, see, I have more fun drawing all over people's faces with magic marker when they're passed out. Note: if you party with me, you'll be fine but DON'T fall asleep with your shoes on - its the cardinal rule

juliekitty
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10 Sep 2007, 11:58 pm

calandale wrote:

It's just that you brought it up twice.

Sheesh, aspies. :roll:

That's just what I happened to get. If I'd gotten e-mails from guys who were into blondes, that wouldn't mean I was jealous of blondes.

Since I'm slim, I also wouldn't respond to a guy whose ad said he liked bigger girls. That doesn't make me jealous of big girls.

My point is: If you're going to put in your ad that you're into a certain physical type, do not contact women who aren't that type! And if you're willing to date outside that type, don't put it in your ad! Women want to date guys who are into them -- they don't want to feel like they're second best.

GoatOnFire
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11 Sep 2007, 12:00 am

I don't advertise any preference, I'm not picky. It hasn't helped me one bit.

_________________
I will befriend the friendless, help the helpless, and defeat... the feetless?

calandale
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11 Sep 2007, 12:40 am

juliekitty wrote:

My point is: If you're going to put in your ad that you're into a certain physical type, do not contact women who aren't that type! And if you're willing to date outside that type, don't put it in your ad! Women want to date guys who are into them -- they don't want to feel like they're second best.

Yeah. Kinda a problem for me,
as I'd RATHER attract the impossible,
if it's out there, so I did put what I wanted
in my profile. Not so much in terms of looks
or such, but in terms of interest.

The whole thing of meeting someone online
seems pretty unnatural. Basically, there probably
are NO matches for what I want. But, in person,
after having someone fall for me, I think that I
could convince.

juliekitty
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11 Sep 2007, 12:54 am

calandale wrote:

I'd RATHER attract the impossible,
if it's out there, so I did put what I wanted
in my profile. Not so much in terms of looks
or such, but in terms of interest.

Oh, me too! But at least interests are something a person can develop if they think you're worth it.

I'm fanatical about partner dancing (swing, ballroom, etc.) So I put that in my ad. If a guy doesn't dance, he can always take lessons.

But I'd never say, for example, that I preferred tall men, because what if I ended up with a short guy? He'd always feel bad, knowing I wished he were taller, and there wouldn't be a thing he could do about it.

techstepgenr8tion
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11 Sep 2007, 12:59 am

calandale wrote:

The whole thing of meeting someone online
seems pretty unnatural. Basically, there probably
are NO matches for what I want. But, in person,
after having someone fall for me, I think that I
could convince.

Ditto. I have like 62 eharmony matches and I haven't contacted a one of them. Its not that I have any fear of them, more that I just see so much of the same plain-vanilla "This is the cute thing to write that everyone writes" that I can't even see the real personalities behind the masks; it bothers me too much.

calandale
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11 Sep 2007, 1:13 am

juliekitty wrote:

I'm fanatical about partner dancing (swing, ballroom, etc.) So I put that in my ad. If a guy doesn't dance, he can always take lessons.

But I'd never say, for example, that I preferred tall men, because what if I ended up with a short guy? He'd always feel bad, knowing I wished he were taller, and there wouldn't be a thing he could do about it.

But, if you really would prefer a
taller man, wouldn't you always
be sort of cheating the person
that you're with?

I don't know. I don't have really
clear physical attributes that I would
post. First off, there are a lot of women
with poor body images, yet who look fine
to me, so stating my preference for a
slender body seems an error. Beyond that,
there's not a hell of a lot which I could even
define clearly. I probably wouldn't like someone
much taller than I am, but I wouldn't write that
off either.

zee
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11 Sep 2007, 1:20 am

Tips aside, you can work on your online profile as much as you like, but you won't change into that person. If you're shallow and image-consious, it will show soon enough.

juliekitty
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11 Sep 2007, 9:51 am

calandale wrote:

But, if you really would prefer a
taller man, wouldn't you always
be sort of cheating the person
that you're with?

Depends on how strong your preference is.

If it would really bother you that the guy is short, then yes.

But if it wasn't of major importance to you, then no.

IMO, the ability to overlook things that aren't fatal flaws, yet don't fit your personal image of perfection, is crucial to finding happiness in a relationship.

calandale wrote:

there are a lot of women
with poor body images, yet who look fine
to me, so stating my preference for a
slender body seems an error.

Good point. Maybe putting "height/weight proportional" would work? Sounds a lot less exclusionary than "slender" -- a lot of women could read that as meaning "model-thin".

Either that, or you could simply not mention it, and then screen out women who are too heavy for you based on their photos. That seems the safer way, quite frankly.

calandale wrote:

I probably wouldn't like someone
much taller than I am, but I wouldn't write that
off either.

Then you shouldn't put it in your ad, or anyone taller than you will be turned off! That's the point I've been trying to make.

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