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ToadOfSteel
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26 Sep 2007, 10:09 pm

Usually, as soon as I hear the word boyfriend, I will come up with an excuse to leave the area ("I need to go take a leak" is a good one, as they can't follow me into the men's room) and get out of the situation... that just makes it too awkward, that is, if she's telling the truth...

This is the catch-22 situation: If she really has a boyfriend, then obviously I shouldn't be trying to go out with her. If she doesn't then she's lying to me (which to me is worse than just being brutally honest...) Either way, dropping that line means I probably don't want to go out with her anymore...

Then again, if someone calls me a fatass, I'm just like "Yeah, I am", or otherwise start cracking fat jokes at myself...

To hell with white lies...



hartzofspace
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26 Sep 2007, 11:04 pm

I've had the reversal of that, where I am making casual conversation, and suddenly the guy brings up a girlfriend or a wife. It always surprises and confuses me. I have to resist saying, "Did I look like I was attracted or something?"


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Pugly
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26 Sep 2007, 11:09 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
I've had the reversal of that, where I am making casual conversation, and suddenly the guy brings up a girlfriend or a wife. It always surprises and confuses me. I have to resist saying, "Did I look like I was attracted or something?"


Guys may drop it as a lie expecting you to react to it.

In those "dating" guides it says Women are attracted to men who aren't available to them.

...sounds like a great way to start off a relationship. :roll:


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hartzofspace
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26 Sep 2007, 11:18 pm

Well, that's just weird! 8O


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yvaN_ehT_nioJ
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26 Sep 2007, 11:20 pm

That is quite strange.


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calandale
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27 Sep 2007, 12:51 am

Then again, there's always the possibility
that they are actually just bringing up
their S.O. into the conversation, because
something reminded them of her.



kip
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27 Sep 2007, 12:57 am

I don't think I learned how to flirt... I go from treating you like a friend to treating you like a bf, nothing inbetween, so I get confused when people try and flirt with me. Its one of those NT things I guess. Never bothered me much, until people assume I'm flirting with them cause I talk to ANYONE and don't make eye contact, which I guess is supposed to be 'shy' flirting? Which, I thought flirting was out there in your face, so I don't get that either. I dont know, so I don't bother.

I know mum does the fake BF thing though... she even goes so far as to wear a ring on her left hand and say shes engaged...



hartzofspace
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27 Sep 2007, 1:27 am

kip wrote:
Never bothered me much, until people assume I'm flirting with them cause I talk to ANYONE and don't make eye contact, which I guess is supposed to be 'shy' flirting? Which, I thought flirting was out there in your face, so I don't get that either. I dont know, so I don't bother.


Maybe that's it. The poor eye contact makes them think I'm flirting. I've seen books which tell young girls that, to get a guys attention, stare at him until he notices, and then look away, smiling shyly. No wonder its so damn confusing trying to talk to NT guys! :roll:


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ToadOfSteel
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27 Sep 2007, 5:17 am

kip wrote:
I don't think I learned how to flirt... I go from treating you like a friend to treating you like a bf, nothing inbetween, so I get confused when people try and flirt with me. Its one of those NT things I guess.


If only it were that simple... It would make things so much easier for me to understand....



nb411
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27 Sep 2007, 8:20 am

calandale wrote:
Then again, there's always the possibility
that they are actually just bringing up
their S.O. into the conversation, because
something reminded them of her.


Yes it would be a bit silly if everytime you mentioned your S.O. , it was to create attraction. Maybe it does a little bit in the sense that the woman you are speaking with will respect you for having an S.O. because it is an indication that another person values you enough to hang around with you.

That said, not a good strategy in the end.



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27 Sep 2007, 2:29 pm

SpaceStace wrote:
I admit I've done that before. I'm not saying it's right, just admitting I've done it. Because when I've tried saying something like "I'm not intereseted", often the guy doesn't even pause but keeps trying, or asks why I'm not interested and keeps bugging me until I'm so irritated I say something mean. They take it as a challenge or something. Saying I have a boyfriend is taking the easy way out. Sorry.


I admit that I have often done the same thing in the past as well. Many men, unless you are married, still think they have a chance w/ you regardless of the fact there is a bf. I also must admit that when it comes to someone I know I can be a bit of a coward, since I know what it is like to be rejected and it hurts like hell. I usually just tell them that I am not interested in getting involved w/ anyone on a romantic level at that time. Sometimes, I am telling them the truth, but sometimes I just don't want to hurt their feelings-esp if they gone out of their way to get my attention and endear themselves to me. However, these are usually people that I would like to get to know as a friend. Hey, you never know, one can develop feelings over time...


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calandale
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27 Sep 2007, 7:46 pm

Quirky_Girl72 wrote:

I admit that I have often done the same thing in the past as well. Many men, unless you are married, still think they have a chance w/ you regardless of the fact there is a bf.


Some of us don't even see marriage as
an insurmountable barrier. :P

Not that I'd give such signs in reality.



affengeil
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27 Sep 2007, 8:38 pm

Quote:
If someone doesn't like talking to me I wish they'd just come out and say it--ideally in a polite, sympathetic fashion. P

That's exactly what she's doing when she tells you she has a boyfriend. (In what other "polite, sympathetic fashion," specifically, would you like to be told, "I don't really like talking with you"? My guess is that, once you hear that a few times, you'd rather they just tell you, "I have a boyfriend."

Coyote27 wrote:
mojo123 wrote:
Try telling them you are rich, and see if thier boyfriends matter then. Most women are as superficial as men are arrogant.

:lol: Good advice, actually.

That's terrible advice.



calandale
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27 Sep 2007, 9:03 pm

affengeil wrote:
"I don't really like talking with you"?


I find such honesty refreshing.
Actually though, they usually
just wander away, when I'm
staring off into space ignoring
them. Somehow, I suspect that
this is MY fault, however. :P



Quirky_Girl72
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27 Sep 2007, 10:25 pm

calandale wrote:
Quirky_Girl72 wrote:

I admit that I have often done the same thing in the past as well. Many men, unless you are married, still think they have a chance w/ you regardless of the fact there is a bf.


Some of us don't even see marriage as
an insurmountable barrier. :P

Not that I'd give such signs in reality.


LOL! You are too right!! !


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ToadOfSteel
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27 Sep 2007, 10:28 pm

Thing is, I'm the exact opposite. Mentioning a b/f is pretty much a surefire way to get me off your back, for good. If you later change your mind about me (or if you break up with any b/f you may have had) I still would stay distant from you...