when do i tell him?

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I would start by just explaining your odd behaviors as you have them. Like, explain you are super-sensitive to sounds or whatever, right after you have a reaction. When you two talk about friends or relationships, slowly reveal some of the problems you have making friends. When talking a about your interests, say how you tend to get obsessive over them. Sooner or later it will feel totally natural for you to tell him that all of these traits add up to something called aspergers. Chances are he will either already know, or be totally understanding and after hearing your explanation or reading a bit about it, everything will make sense. Just don't wait too long or it will be like you are withholding information from your partner.