Tony Attwood attending 'Female Partners of Aspies' group

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My advice is not to spend too much time reading these types of message boards. Though I do find it interesting and have recently started posting, there is a alot of self-pity and self-hatred that just isn't good for morale. Yeah we have weaknesses, we just need to work on them. For example, sometimes I catch myself using the internet as a means of social interaction. That's unacceptable because it's not a good substitue for the real thing. I have to force myself to be sociable, but I do it. Sometimes it helps to "talk" to people online, but tons of people online are addicted to self-loathing. They are looking to be understood, which is understandable, but they are caught up in a cycle of setbacks caused by fear and self-hatred. Stay away from those types of people that you meet online and take any of their posts with a grain of salt.

Your different, but I'm willing to wager that you have some awesome qualities! Don't let the whiners on these types of messageboards get you down. Identify your weaknesses and then work them. If I were as dumb and oblivious as the NT's I work with, I truely would hate myself. You are "someone better." Realize your strengths and use them in you life. Identify your weaknesses and force yourself to change. Life is what you make of it!! !!

I suppose
I always knew my life wouldn't be easy
regardless of what my parents told me
(they have no idea about AS)
I am just sad that I will never have a nice normal life you know...
my life will most likely be pretty crappy
I've worked my ass off to try and get friends IRL
(I have only a few whom I genually care about online...Graelwyn and Nutbag to name two)
but real life-there's nothing
and its not a question of simply talking to people
people don't want to listen
they don't want to be my friend
and no woman will want to be my wife
simple as that

Sometimes I see people find solice in religion. I'm just the opposite, I get mine from nihilism, and sometimes borrow a little from Buddha.

The meaning is, there is no meaning. This world is full of self-involved jackasses who don't want to listen to anyone because they are shallow. The ironic thing here is, that these are the people you consider "normal" and wish you were like! Do you see? DO YOU SEE??? Re-read those last few sentences!! ! Ok........DO YOU SEE!! ! Until you understand that, you will never get rid of your self-loathing. When I first diagnosed myself, I was obsessed, and I mean obsessed, about reading about it and talking to people about it. Then after a while, I forced myself to take a step back and realized that I was concentrating my energy on the wrong things. Of course you should educate yourself on the topic, and it even helps to hear what others say. But don't get caught up in self-loathing. "Anger, Fear, to the Dark Side do these emotions lead!" (Yoda) Being normal? WTF is that? Most "normal" people are self-involved and shallow, hence the divorce rate in this country and the mass quantity of screwed up kids of "normal" parents.

You'll never move forward with your life and make positive changes until you understand what I'm saying. You can say I'm full of BS, and that's fine, maybe I am. But I've been able to make positive changes and this is how I did it. You have to understand that no one is normal. The NT's are more screwed up than we are. Observe them. Do they really find happiness? You might think they do, but they don't. Shallow people never do. "Their Art Never Lasts!" (Almost Famous).

If you take nothing else from my rant, always remember that self-hatred will destroy your life!! !

Edit:
And as far as finding a wife, you'll never have a successful relationship with yourself if you hate yourself. So how do you expect to have a successful relationship with someone else? Deal with yourself first. Then worry about meeting women! Don't evaluate yourself based on whether or not you are married or dating. That is the wrong criteria! Once you establish a little self-confidence, you'll be successful in more ways than just dating! I don't know any confident people who have trouble finding relationships. Do you?

Last edited by CompSciMan2 on 07 Nov 2007, 11:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I knew that
I am a wiccan actually...
it makes me kinda happy, I see what you mean
I am still lonely and sad, even if I saw myself as normal and cool
don't mean others will
and if everyone hates me-who's there to marry or befriend

And as far as finding friends and women, you'll never have a successful relationship with yourself if you hate yourself. So how do you expect to have a successful relationships with someone else? Deal with yourself first. Then worry about meeting other people! Don't evaluate yourself based on whether or not you are married or dating. That is the wrong criteria! Once you establish a little self-confidence, you'll be successful in more ways than just dating! I don't know any confident people who have trouble finding relationships with friends or lovers. Do you? People are naturally drawn to confidence. Not faked confidence, true self-confidence. If you can find confidence in youself, the doors will open. No one wants to hang around with people who are lonely and sad, because emotions rub off on people. It makes me sad to be around people who are sad. My boss at work is socially ackward sometimes occasionally says dumb things, but it's obvious to anyone who is in his presence for 5 seconds that he has self-confidence. And that's why he's the boss! He's not a smooth talking MBA, he's a geeky, but very confident engineer.

And yes, I always feel akward just like everyone else. But I deal with it. And yes, I have trouble meeting women too. But luckily I've gotten past being depressed about it and I've moved on. There is no clock running that says I need a relationship right this second is there?

I donno
there is no way I am gnna love myself as every time I look at myself I get kinda sick inside
I have lost SOOOOOO many friends online and off because I am a mess
I stopped trying really
I don't think I want a girl if they're like-well how I see them as
jeez...
I donno I am ranting again
but seriously...I don't think I will ever learn to love myself...
I never really have loved myself (or actually liked myself)
my earliest memories...are me being mad at myself for being stupid