Well, my relationship is over

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Why didn't you turn her down? Clearly, you weren't that clear when you told her not to have a relationship or being honest, for that matter. I must say, you're not practicing a very good 10th step. She wanted you, and you took advantage of that. Taking advantage of a vulnerable girl, that has a alcohol/drug problem. Your excuse is, she came on to you and told her not to get involved in a relationship, but somehow she got into a relationship with you. Seems you didn't mean what you told her about 'not getting into a relationship.' I guess 13th stepping is "carrying the message" But, according to you she not sober anymore. So, was it worth it?

I know AA and I know 13th Stepping some vulnerable, messed up girl, is not part of normal AA practices. I guess your penis was thinking about, "carrying the message." Sad thing is you won't admit to practicing the 13th Step, when clearly you are or were. By the way, i'm not trolling. I guess pointing out that you are 13th stepping (taking advantage of some messed up girl) is trolling, according to you?

Whatever. I know I did nothing wrong, and I have zero regrets. I'm sorry you're so confused.

It's not rude. This 'Space' member admits to taking advantage of a vulnerable, new comer to AA (13th stepping). It's wrong to do that, and he should know that, no matter what his silly excuse is.

There's no studies that prove women have a higher failure rate in AA. Space made a statement claiming, females do have a higher failure rate than men. He made that up, no evidence that leads to his statement, zero. It is common in AA for male members to target new vulnerable, messed up girls to AA. They even have a cool name for it, 13th Stepping. Which is taking advantage of these women who are new to AA or sobriety.


People are idiots, what do you want me to tell you. Having a lot of groups based on the 12-step model doesn't mean anything. Fact of the matter is, 12-step programs have over or at least a 95 percent failure rate.

dokken!.......breaking the chains around you! nobody else can bind you! take a good look around you! now you're breaking the chains!.....wicked solo!

Ya, dokken one of the more respectable 80's band. Breaking the Chains is a good song. I like 'Dream Warriors' and 'Tooth and Nail'

I will ask you to stop saying any more odious statements that are against women.

You are already showing what an male chauvinistic jerk you are.

Shut up or leave.

Thank you.

Doc Gamester.

um, okay... where are my so called, "odious statements that are against women." Thanks for attempting to insult me by calling me a, "male chauvinistic jerk." I would love to know how you came to this assumption?

Been in those shoes more than once my friend. It's a hard thing to get by, and I've found no way around it. In my experience, it's best to steer clear of those situations once identified, they tend to only get worse. Sad state of affairs, I know, as a large percentage of girls feel that way nowadays. Damn you, a**hole guys!

Huh? You should asked directly what did she mean.

I think some girls are addicted to drama....

I think so. I resolve never to get involved with a girl like this again. Too much BS. You basically have to try and change the girl. I don't want to ruin my life trying to change someone who can't confront their own issues. There are plenty of women out there who aren't seriously messed up from bad relationships... I know they are out there, it just might be tough to find them.

I did ask her. This led NOWHERE. Her response was basically "I dunnnnoooo ..."blah blah blah... it was pointless. The AS/NT thing doesn't help here either. I would often ask her point-blank literal questions, asking her to elaborate or explain what she meant by something, and I would get the same response: "I dunno...." or just a puppy dog eyes look and a sigh. Basically a stonewall to keep me trying to figure her out when she could easily be honest and explain what the problem was. WASTE_OF_TIME....

Last edited by Space on 22 Jan 2008, 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

see, you should just not date people in AA. Especially, since you're a member also. Anyways, NA meetings are cooler

dont close your eyes, kiss of death, and mr. scary are my favorite dokken songs. george lynch was probably the best guitarist of all the so-called hair bands.

hey space, comrade in lowkicks.

sorry to hear that. i can imagine the situation pretty well... i guess, its easy to say that it wasnt the best thing dating someone on aa, especially old member/new member blah blah blah, all the wise posthoc talk. thing is, when you deem a situation right, and your actions right, you just do things, and its good that way. i dont think you did wrong, things just worked out sh***y.
regarding not getting clear answers - i know that one. but then, a frightening lot of people never cared trying to get to the bottom of things mentally (not saying she is dumb or something, just that a lot of people arent used to such systematical dissection of things), let alone express themselves in a precise manner. us aspies seem to be very caring about this, even to the extent that we run into problems with people who are quite precise by world standards.

i say, keep the happy memories, keep what you learned from it, and try moving on. easier said than done (its easy becoming all bitter, though)...
hang in there, mate.

Hey gekitsu, thanks man. I'm just going to forge on. I asked a cute girl in my philosophy class if she wanted to study with me today and she said yes... I think she might be interested in me. Who knows. Either way, I'll find a new girl (who hopefully isn't an alcoholic). I know I have something to offer the right person, and I want to always keep an open mind and open heart so I will try and stay optimistic and be bold.

" Fortune favors the foolish!"
Flaming Carrot Comics

( okay so maybe the original qote is 'fortune favors the BOLD' but I'm not arguing with the 'Carrot )