I got rejected

Page 2 of 3 [ 34 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

gwenevyn
l'esprit de l'escalier

Joined: 6 May 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,443

13 Feb 2008, 7:41 pm

Sorry for the bluntness you encounter. You seem to have a great attitude about it though.

I agree that gbollard made an excellent post there.

_________________
The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them. -Antoine de Saint Exupéry

ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

13 Feb 2008, 7:52 pm

At least she isn't stringing you along...

my first rejection was a combination of being shoved into friend zone, along with a "I'm not ready for that kind of thing; maybe some other time" comment...

Granted we were both kids back then, and have grown up now... and yet still, every time I make any attempts to flirt with her, she doesn't flat out reject... but as usual, I don't have the courage to take it all the way (and now, if I get to see her twice a year, it's a lot...)

I've been strung along for well over 5 years now... and I'm still too much of a sucker to completely get her out of my mind... I'm not holding my breath anymore, but since I go to a school that, for all intents and purposes, has no women in it at all, she's really one of the few women my own age that I ever get to see...

CityAsylum
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Jan 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,190
Location: New York City

13 Feb 2008, 8:01 pm

KosmoSockPuppet wrote:

I wonder how you could be any more pathetic?

Wow, KosmoSockPuppet, you certainly came in with your guns blazing on your first post!

Weather1man, you really made a nice friendly overture, and she politely answered you, even though it was a turndown, so there's really no failure here, and I hope you don't feel like a loser. Sometimes it really is hard to work, study and socialize all at the same time.

If you do end up going out to dinner with her, then, as others have said, just be friendly and don't try to 'audition.' You might end up being good friends, and you never know what might happen after that.

Good luck!

TheMidnightJudge
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Mar 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,669
Location: New England

13 Feb 2008, 8:52 pm

KosmoSockPuppet wrote:

weather1man wrote:

what do you guys think?

It took you seven months to ask someone if she wanted to spend some time with you.
Yeah, you must have really had the hots for her.
What do i think?
I wonder how you could be any more pathetic?
How long are you going to take asking the next girl that catches your eye?
She will probably be married, have kids, then get divorced by the time you ask.
Good luck anyway.

Don't be so aggressive. This is a support forum.
What you're saying makes sense though, I've watched girls I liked go off with other guys (which I don't intend to do anymore if I ever decide I want a relationship).

TheMidnightJudge
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Mar 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,669
Location: New England

13 Feb 2008, 8:55 pm

weather1man wrote:

No hope trap.

You make sure of that! I've seen the damage those traps can do.

weather1man
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 30 Oct 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 275
Location: Atlanta, Georgia

14 Feb 2008, 1:02 pm

I'm pretty sad today though, as today was the day that I asked her to go out for.

_________________
"But in general, at first shy guys may seem interesting and cute, but it DOES get old really quick. Gets too boring."

D1nk0
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,587

14 Feb 2008, 3:54 pm

When you asked her out on facebook, did you not do it by way of a private message? Asking someone out where other people can it see it unfortunately DOES reflect badly on you and might've made her feel embarassed. Persistence often DOESNT pay off. When she drops a hint like "too busy to date" let it go at that and MOVE ON! I realize that it may not be easy to do but it will help you avoid crushing rejections like this in the future. Dont forget-befriending someone wont make them any more attracted to you if they arent already.

Kalister1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Sep 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,443

14 Feb 2008, 4:29 pm

weather1man wrote:

Well I asked a girl out I liked at work, she was a bit older than me. It took me 7 months to do so, I asked on facebook as I'd be to scared to in real person. She replied with saying basically your a nice sweet guy, but I'm to busy to date (which prob is true, as she's a team leader at CFA, and in college), and that she wasn't really attracted to me, but she did agree to go out to dinner with me as a friend before she leaves the job. So do you guys think this is good or bad? I can't decide. I mean it' bad she said no, but still she was nice and didn't ignore me. (although most girls are nice) what do you guys think?

Block her and don't talk to her again. You will find a woman you desire even more within a week , if you just keep looking for her. Too bad this isn't a science, and nothing is certain, but I believe you'll keep the one thing you need even more than love - your self respect. Don't waste time on people who aren't up to the task of dating and just want to be friends; I'm sure you have tons of friends, and who needs even more?

juliekitty
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Jun 2006
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,540

14 Feb 2008, 4:54 pm

D1nk0 wrote:

Asking someone out where other people can it see it unfortunately DOES reflect badly on you and might've made her feel embarassed.

I agree. It should be private.

Not only is it embarrassing, it makes her feel pressured to say yes. Whenever I see a news story about a guy who hires a skywriter or rents a billboard to propose, I think, sheesh -- what if she wants to say no?

Kalister1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Sep 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,443

14 Feb 2008, 4:58 pm

juliekitty wrote:

D1nk0 wrote:

Asking someone out where other people can it see it unfortunately DOES reflect badly on you and might've made her feel embarassed.

I don't see whats so bad about being rejected :S Maybe I'm weird....
Mmmm. Maybe she will say "Yes" when everyone is around, but then say no later in private ?

Temucano
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 2 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 46

14 Feb 2008, 5:43 pm

I´ve been rejected two times. It was difficult to forget but I think it´s normal. After a while I was accepting the truth. I suggest to return to your hobbies (music helped me a lot) and maybe you can start meeting new people but you don´t to have to think about a new girlfirend. Well, if a nice woman appears just approach to her naturally. I think it´s very hard when you like some person who you don´t know well.
In a few words, return to your normal life and try to join some club or new people.

ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

14 Feb 2008, 5:49 pm

Temucano wrote:

Returning to hobbies/whatever you do in life is easy, and it's what got me through my first rejection. My problem is that I take a long time to develop attractions to women (1 month is the bare minimum), and just "finding someone else" isn't an option... Also, once I have developed attraction, I can't just "forget" about it...

Kalister1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Sep 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,443

14 Feb 2008, 6:03 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Temucano wrote:

Maybe you can develop it, this ability to take rejection in stride. Just keep at it. Its not like theres a "special someone" out there for you, its just a bunch of people who you are compatible with, and you can probably find one of them.

weather1man
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 30 Oct 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 275
Location: Atlanta, Georgia

06 Mar 2008, 5:36 pm

Update, we are going to dinner in a few weeks.

_________________
"But in general, at first shy guys may seem interesting and cute, but it DOES get old really quick. Gets too boring."

angelgirl1224
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Dec 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 537
Location: england

06 Mar 2008, 5:46 pm

at least you were brave enough to ask her

MissConstrue
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,052
Location: MO

06 Mar 2008, 6:57 pm

Well that sucks, I don't know. Tell her you're too busy to have dinner with her because you got another date. Just kidding. I wouldn't feel comfortable in that kind of situation, I'd probably say no. She's probably just trying to be nice and that doesn't always work. That's brave of you though to do what you did. I'm sure there's someone out there for you. Most ppl who like themselves keep going at it. I've seen my brother rejected many times and many other times, he wasn't. You just have to try and not take this situation so personal. Sorry that happened.

Page 2 of 3 [ 34 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

Jump to:

I got rejected Post Reply New Topic

I got rejected