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ToadOfSteel
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15 Mar 2008, 7:43 pm

Yeah, it's really unfortunate because of that. I wouldn't be able to find a woman in my own church until I'm about 40, and at that point it would be too late for me to really get a family going (which is really what I want to do in life...)



sands
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16 Mar 2008, 12:38 am

Maybe you wouldn't have to leave your own church just join some young adult groups in others churches.


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Driven
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16 Mar 2008, 2:13 am

College is a great place to be. Its all about the student organizations and study groups. Especially student orgs that do a lot of volenteer activities. Not only do volenteer activities frequently attract more females, but participating in voltenteer events often requires teamwork and communication, therefore a start to the conversation without any effort. As a bonus it looks good on your resume.

And don't pass up a girl just because you're not romantically interested in her. If she's a good person keep her around as a friend, cause she's bound to have other friends you may meet and be interested in.

In summary, join some student orgs.



gypsyRN
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16 Mar 2008, 3:06 am

Where to find women:
The Humane Society...kind chicks dig helping animals
An aerobics class (must be offered by a college, otherwise you'll get mostly older women)...and it doesn't even matter if you want to get fit...they'll love you for trying (seriously, there was only ever 1-2 guys in ANY of my aerobics classes)
A pottery studio...mostly girls, with a few quirky, cool guys thrown in
the INTERNET! Wise-up, guy...for a shy person, it's THE way to go. I mean, seriously, what's the worst that could happen? Oh that's right...it's the same as the worst that could happen if that hot little nerdlette you picked up at the coffeehouse slips a roofie in your half-caf soy latte. If you're uncomfortable posting for yourself, just respond to the W4M ads. Try craigslist.
Walking/biking trails in your area
Parks, dog parks
Friends...get them...they have more...you're sure to stumble across some girls along the way
On the campus of a nearby college that has more women than men

Good luck!



ToadOfSteel
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16 Mar 2008, 12:21 pm

First of all, before I reply, know that I don't bear anyone any hostility for trying to help me. I really do appreciate your help in this situation, but there are a few problems with the suggestions:

Driven wrote:
College is a great place to be. Its all about the student organizations and study groups. Especially student orgs that do a lot of volenteer activities. Not only do volenteer activities frequently attract more females, but participating in voltenteer events often requires teamwork and communication, therefore a start to the conversation without any effort. As a bonus it looks good on your resume.

I already an exorbitant amount of time at my church as I've stated before. As for the college I go to, it's very heavily male dominated (as I've also said before), and most women are above the age of 25 (which is my upper limit on my personal age range at this point)

Quote:
And don't pass up a girl just because you're not romantically interested in her. If she's a good person keep her around as a friend, cause she's bound to have other friends you may meet and be interested in.

Believe me, I know this already. It was my standard operation in high school. I was "friends" with nearly all the girls while in high school, but aside from my junior biology class (which was merely a case of the girls trying to use me for the fact that I was the only person who knew anything about biology), none of them ever showed any romantic interest in me over the 4 years.

The few girls my age that were involved in either my school or at my church dropped off the face of the earth, and now I'm lucky to see one of them twice a year.

Quote:
In summary, join some student orgs.

And there happens to be some student orgs in my school, right? Even the school where 3/4 of the students commute to school? Yeah, right.


=======
gypsyRN wrote:
Where to find women:
The Humane Society...kind chicks dig helping animals

The most extremist type of woman thrives in such circles. I'm not saying that all women involved in animal rights groups are as such, but that's where such a group would be...

Quote:
An aerobics class (must be offered by a college, otherwise you'll get mostly older women)...and it doesn't even matter if you want to get fit...they'll love you for trying (seriously, there was only ever 1-2 guys in ANY of my aerobics classes)

There's a reason I don't take aerobics classes... I run out of breath after 5 seconds of running...

Quote:
A pottery studio...mostly girls, with a few quirky, cool guys thrown in

I also suck really bad at pottery... I was able to make the ashtray, and that's about it (I don't even smoke, so I had no use for it either...)

Quote:
the INTERNET! Wise-up, guy...for a shy person, it's THE way to go. I mean, seriously, what's the worst that could happen? Oh that's right...it's the same as the worst that could happen if that hot little nerdlette you picked up at the coffeehouse slips a roofie in your half-caf soy latte. If you're uncomfortable posting for yourself, just respond to the W4M ads. Try craigslist.


Quote:
Walking/biking trails in your area
Parks, dog parks

The walking trail I go to (usually when I need to clear my mind) does indeed have some women, but like my church, they're all 40+ (what makes it even worse is that I don't even know any of those people...

Quote:
Friends...get them...they have more...you're sure to stumble across some girls along the way

See my response above on that...

Quote:
On the campus of a nearby college that has more women than men

There's a state college and a county college across the street from us, but I think those also are male dominated (not nearly as much as my college, but still male-dominated). I don't even have any idea if there is any nearby campus with more women than men, but considering all the girls I knew in my church fled to upstate New York and points further north, I think that's where they all would be...

Quote:
Good luck!

Thanks.



gypsyRN
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16 Mar 2008, 12:35 pm

Kid, you have an excuse for everything (and I say that in the friendliest possible way). It sounds like you've already given up! If no one's suggestions are worth anything, then why ask for them? For starters, the HSUS is animal WELFARE, not animal RIGHTS. There's a huge difference between the Humane Society and PETA. Way to stereotype, too (with the extremist comment...I am not extreme, and definitely wasn't during college). Second, I got out of breath after running 5 seconds too...thus the reason for taking a class...because I wasn't in shape. You'll be amazed at what your body can do after taking a class for a semester...it really boosts your self confidence, even if you feel like an uncoordinated moron at the beginning. Finally...everyone sucks at pottery in a beginning class. That's why they're in ART103, not ART303. It's a beginning class for beginners. The idea is to meet girls, right, not make incredibly beautiful and useful artifacts. If you're lucky, one of them will lean over and help your adorably awkward hands. ha!

Cool chicks don't fall down from the sky, into your lap. You have to find each other, but you're going to have to feel good enough about yourself to actually attract one, you know?

Is spending a TON of time at your church fulfilling most of your needs? It sounds like it might not be. If you want to meet a girlfriend, you might have to consider rearranging your schedule a bit. I'm not saying "Forsake the baby Jesus," just that maybe you can find something equally or nearly as meaningful outside of that environment which is, you've said, full of women who are outside of your age range.



ToadOfSteel
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16 Mar 2008, 3:17 pm

gypsyRN wrote:
Kid, you have an excuse for everything (and I say that in the friendliest possible way). It sounds like you've already given up! If no one's suggestions are worth anything, then why ask for them? For starters, the HSUS is animal WELFARE, not animal RIGHTS. There's a huge difference between the Humane Society and PETA. Way to stereotype, too (with the extremist comment...I am not extreme, and definitely wasn't during college).

Sorry if i got a little carried away generalizing. While I am definitely against cruel treatment of animals, my one experience with ANY animal advocacy group was with some PETA person who tried to convert me to vegetarianism...

Quote:
Second, I got out of breath after running 5 seconds too...thus the reason for taking a class...because I wasn't in shape. You'll be amazed at what your body can do after taking a class for a semester...it really boosts your self confidence, even if you feel like an uncoordinated moron at the beginning.
Finally...everyone sucks at pottery in a beginning class. That's why they're in ART103, not ART303. It's a beginning class for beginners. The idea is to meet girls, right, not make incredibly beautiful and useful artifacts. If you're lucky, one of them will lean over and help your adorably awkward hands. ha!

And there happens to be a pottery class in a tech institute? I gotta hear this one...

Quote:
Cool chicks don't fall down from the sky, into your lap. You have to find each other, but you're going to have to feel good enough about yourself to actually attract one, you know?

Really? I hadn't noticed...

In all seriousness, however, there just aren't women that share my interests. While the general male:female ratio is 4:1 school-wide, it's more like 25:1 in the IT department (which is what my major is). My other real interest is singing in the church choir (as i've already said, there's no women my age at the church.) Those are my two primary interests in life. Outside of those two interests, the only way I know anything about any topic is by looking it up on Wikipedia. It's not so much finding a woman in general, but I need to find a woman who has at least one of those interests because otherwise I would have nothing to share with her in any form of a relationship. Trying to explain how a hard drive works to a psychology major is probably a surefire way to bore her out of her mind...

Quote:
Is spending a TON of time at your church fulfilling most of your needs? It sounds like it might not be. If you want to meet a girlfriend, you might have to consider rearranging your schedule a bit. I'm not saying "Forsake the baby Jesus," just that maybe you can find something equally or nearly as meaningful outside of that environment which is, you've said, full of women who are outside of your age range.

The church helped me through the hardest times of my life (thus far). In early high school I was actually suicidal (a combination of teenage rejection and the fact that I felt completely useless in life), and the people there helped me through it, and gave me all these opportunities to help out doing stuff so that I could feel needed again in life. If I were to leave the church now, I would probably feel useless again and at the very least slip back into a depression...



vimster
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20 Mar 2008, 8:52 pm

I was talking to my line manager at work today about meeting women. She came out with the usual stuff about clubs and evening classes. I tried really hard to match my interests with activities that would get me out....

Old computer games
Electronic music production
Reading
Really bad trashy films

... and drew a blank. Okay so maybe there's a book group, but I have a stack of books ready to read here and can't fit any more into my schedule. Games? Hmmm, whilst I know a couple of women into games on the internet of course they have fellas. Music production, nope, not working here.

I grant you I may sound like I'm making excuses here but I honestly cannot figure out a way of getting out and meeting people. Oh and I don't drive either.

Hrmph.



gypsyRN
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21 Mar 2008, 12:07 am

vimster wrote:
I was talking to my line manager at work today about meeting women. She came out with the usual stuff about clubs and evening classes. I tried really hard to match my interests with activities that would get me out....

Old computer games
Electronic music production
Reading
Really bad trashy films

... and drew a blank. Okay so maybe there's a book group, but I have a stack of books ready to read here and can't fit any more into my schedule. Games? Hmmm, whilst I know a couple of women into games on the internet of course they have fellas. Music production, nope, not working here.

I grant you I may sound like I'm making excuses here but I honestly cannot figure out a way of getting out and meeting people. Oh and I don't drive either.

Hrmph.


Maybe you should post a M4W ad on craigslist: "Hopeless musician seeks company for bad film marathons". heh It sounds awkwardly endearing, you know?

And you're right about most girls not being that into computer games, and those who are have been snapped up by some guy they met on WoW. It couldn't hurt to try new things though, right? I mean, you could always surprise yourself and find that you actually enjoy something you originally endeavored to do for the sole purpose of meeting women (like yoga). Maybe even look for something that will be a useful life skill...like a cooking class. Sure, maybe it isn't all that exciting to you, but it is a good skill to have.

I'm not all that into guns, football, or bars, but I've certainly ponied up and given them a try when a guy I liked invited me to go shooting, watch the game, or knock back a few. Then, if we end up liking each other enough, we can find shared ground and compromises between our interests. I.E. "We watched the games last Sunday, so this Sunday we're going to the natural history museum." I like to cook, so for some of the game, I cook, then we eat in the living room in front of the game. "We went to the rugby bar for 4 hours last Saturday, so this Saturday we're eating sushi and watching a foreign film." And um...when he didn't want to compromise, I was done with him.