Girls............interaction/socializing/ communication

Post Reply New Topic

Um.... Anyway,

I'm a girl, and my problem is I can't tell whether a guy is shy, or repulsed by me. I usually assume repulsed and act accordingly, but I don't know really:(

If your good looking or average guys are usually shy. I look for signs from girls, if they don't give me any I don't bother.

Sorry I thought you were that willard guy.

This fits me quite well too.
I've found just being polite, funny (lncluding directing light jokes thier way) and having common ground to discuss helps with friendships with girls. I can't seem to get any further though and have no idea about initiating new relationships.

A key concern is trusting them enough to let yourself be vulnerable. Without that, you'll never form a real relationship. I say this as someone who won't trust them enough because, in my experience, you can't.

-Frank

I have the same pickle. I am inclined to believe the latter because I can't "read" her (her in my case) emotional response. However, I do believe that there has to be some clever set of behaviors that when observed together may infer the correct answer. My mind is very analytical, so I analyse the situation without knowing anything specific of your situation.

Assuming he is shy. When you first approach him, he will get wound up if he sees you approaching. His heartbeat increases and he most likely produces a blushing of the face. This may or may not be noticeable. His initial words will be short, polite and very cautious. He is trying to figure out if you are real or just going to play around. Any conversation less than five minutes will not allow enough time for him to relax and begin a meaningful discussion. He will not take the initiative and he will not ask for your phone number. If you surprise him (he can't believe his is actually almost talking to you), he will be at a total loss of words and it may take some time for initial answers, which often are less structured or even completely random.

Assuming he is repulsed and not shy. When you first approach him, he will pretend not to see you and he will not blush. His answers may be rude and in many cases lengthy. The behavior will get worse as time progresses. It may get abusive withing five minutes. He will try to get rid of you by making remarks about not beeing interested. If you do not detect these hints, he will switch strategy to give you what you want i.e. asking your phone number and promising to call. During the latter strategy, he will take initiative and may propose almost anything.

There are as many behavioral patterns as there are people, but if you count the number of seconds that fall into the shy category and subtract the number of seconds in the repulsive category (you don't have to do the calulations in practise), you will get an "intuitive feeling" about him. You should be able to recognize a highly positive score from a highly negative score without calculation. This all assumes you are talking to him. If you are not, I have no clues to give you.

Bare in mind that there are many cases where he is neither repulsed nor shy. Most casual interactions fall under this third category. He simply do not expect that a relationship will begin then and there. He assumes you have an agenda and just politely listen to what you have to say. Talkative persons may start their own stories to keep the casual conversation alive.

How would you behave if someone (cute or less cute) came up to talk to you?