Taking a one-sided relationship to the next level

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Sorry to hear that. I'm sure you'll find the right girl out there. Rejections are hard but as they say, you move on and at least you tried. It isn't the end.

I don't think I'll have a problem at all getting a GF, the problem will be falling in love. I realised a long time ago that there's nobody as perfect as she is. She's... one in 6.5 billion!

what about the sis'?

I don't get what you mean O_o

I met her sis today. Took some dvd's which I lent her a long time back. I didn't see her at home though, confirming that she's avoiding me.

my 2 cents...

Is she single, do you know for sure? If she is, are you sure she doesn't like some other guy already (and she doesn't see a reason to confide in you but only in her girlfirends)???? You two may be friends but she's a girl, it doesn't mean she tells you everything.

For you own good, stop dreaming so much about something that isn't in fact a relationship, that is not real. Pull out, gain some perspective. Don't tell yourself that there is no one else (out of the 6.5 bill) you can feel love for...It's counterintuitive but you CAN actually feel love again. You usually start to feel love when you ALLOW yourself to feel it, when you are open, not closed to anything new. Being stuck on someone gives you the impression there's no other true love...because you're stuck on that person. You are in your own box. W/out her, your mind wouldn't focus on ..her 24/7...and surprise, your antennas might spot another beautiful, soulful, delicate, smart girl.

With regard to her "journal" which you interpret as a possible acknowledgement that she likes you, let me tell you...she might believe all she wrote but still only see you as a friend. So far I have seen nothing to demonstrate otherwise. You say she's not shy. Then why wouldn't she hint to you that she liked you? Maybe it's a cultural thing? Maybe she's thinking ahead of what you've mentioned (her culture being different than yours)?

Stop putting this girl on a pedestal. With or w/out her, you're a nice, handsome young man and again..it's counterintuitive but love will find other ways to revive your heart Every person you fall in love with is not better than the previous but different. They're all special in another way.


I think you should think about yourself more. Put yourself first, for a change. You deserve better than these 3 years of uncertainty. You deserve someone real, someone who would gladly be with you. It may be this girl, it may not be.


Like people here have said, I wouldn't bluntly tell her. Rather try to make sure she isn't thinking about someone else..Then, if not, maybe ask her what she wants in a guy, why she's still single..see what she says. She may be reluctant too to ruin this friendship. Also, if possible, ask her cousins or girl friends how come she's still single, being such a nice girl, whay they think she's looking for...maybe they do hint she likes you. But anyway, pull out of this fantasy and try to get some perspective; living a real, more fulfilling life is much more rewarding.

take care

Go to the movie with her and her sister...maybe she's interested in you and wants to get some of her family's opinion. That's my best guess.

^What kind of antidepressants?

I could use some.

Homeopathy. It's definitely a tiny dilution of many elements like other homeopathic remedies. The doctor told me that the medicine he gave me is also used for anxiety. Like other homeopathic medicines, it fights fire with fire - initially, it increases your depression, and within 5-15 days (depending on your condition) cures your problem. However, be warned, this anti-depressant made me act strangely initially - I kept talking to myself in the mirror, making faces, and was running and jumping about everywhere (for around an hour or two initially, now lasts a couple of minutes). This occured 5 hours after taking the medicine. Upto one hour after taking it, it increased my depression, followed by this phenomenon 5 hours later. My depressive and suicidal bouts used to last 2-4 hours earlier, but now last only a couple of minutes. I'm confident my depression will disappear in a couple of days or so. I've been taking this medicine for a week so far.

The doctor tells me that the moment the medicine makes me stop acting strangely, my depression will completely disappear. He's one of the best there is. ^^

I'll ask him what's the dilution tomorrow as it's 10:20 PM now.

No side effects.

Thanks, I do hope so...I tried calling her, and she spoke in a very rude and cold voice. It's worse than being stabbed in the back. To make things worse, I was taken into custody because an acquaintance of mine had pot on him (I didn't even know they toke) and his neighbours got fed up with the smell, and decided to call the cops. I just happened to have dropped by as my friend wanted to say hello to him as we were nearby. The moment I met him, cops appeared out of nowhere and took us into custody. Spent 4 hours in the slammer with rats yesterday (yeah, Indian jails have rats! >_<) before I was released. I refused to bribe them as I was innocent (i was caught with pot three times before and never spent more than $10), so they couldn't do much, especially since my dad knows the MP very well. So yeah, yesterday was a baaaaaaad day. >_<

I just realised that my feelings for her turned into hate. I detest her to the core now. I spit at her picture. I feel like slapping her. Strange...

^Sorry to hear that but don't do what your last statement said for real. I think it's just the fact that you got rejected and it's hurting you real bad. I wouldn't let that one event let it keep you from dating or from having a social life. I had a simlar experience and can't believe how much time I wasted on that one person.

As for me, considering your last story, I think a lot of us have gone through that, if not worse. In the U.S. the law is similar, when you're caught with illegal paraphenilia that doesn't belong to you, you automatically get taken in. A very stupid law I had the same incident only no rats. I was lucky to have family back me up. So sh*t happenes in life and I guess you keep going. I had distance myself from the people I was with to prevent that from happening again. I could never trust their word of not doing it again. It always turned into the same pattern.

I can't really do that...it's just my inner feelings at work. That's exactly what I'm doing, distancing myself from people. I don't want something like that to happen again.

Also, her family's going to Delhi now, for a month. I don't know if I'm happy or sad.

Okay... you've known her for several years, yes? If that's the case, then be honest with her. Not desperate, but honest and sincere (incidentally, these two things come pretty naturally to aspies). Explain in clear terms how you feel. If she's really worth any part of your love, she won't reject you as a friend. From what she wrote, she noticed who you were and was seeking you out, so I find it hard to believe that she would reject you monolithically. She may have had some clue as to how you felt from the beginning. While you are sitting here angsting away about what to do, she might want to be with you. The only way you're going to know is to tell her.

If she's avoiding you, call her on it. Say something along the lines of, "I feel like your avoiding me. Have I done something to hurt you?" If she doesn't answer directly or does anything to imply that you should just get it, explain that if she doesn't spell out what's going on, you're not going to understand it and that's not fair to you. (I'm making large assumptions here. If invalid, disregard.)

Long story short (Yes, I know, too late)
Communication is key. Forgo the social BS and be straightforward and ask the same of her. It may be nerve wracking, but it will accomplish the job.

I talked to her and found out why she hates me. She did tell me, and I apologised, although I wasn't responsible, and she misunderstood my intentions. She still hates me, so I've decided to call it quits. She was the last person I assumed would treat me like this, so I don't think I want to be her friend anymore, let alone have a relationship with her. I'll just forget about having a relationship for now, I think I'll just take up a job this summer and keep myself busy to avoid thinking about her. Thanks for your advice everyone. ^^