When to ask a girl out?

Post Reply New Topic

Right, assuming a "they like me" ratio of 1/20 (about average it seems) that means you'll be ~35 at the maximum when you find 1 girl that likes you? If that doesn't work out your screwed because then your at the point in life where everyone has already paired up and your left to rot.

Interesting advice coming from a "relationships advisor." Doesn't asking out a friend not only get you rejected, but also ruin the friendship as well?

I don't mean to contradict you or anything... I'm just a little curious because that's really unusual dating advice.

A year?!

Are you effing serious?! Friendships are hard enough to come by as it is, and not to mention a friendship to romance progression is extremely difficult (I guess for me it was-EVERY time)... I agree with "knowing" the girl, but doesn't dating fall into the "getting to know" picture as well? Don't mean to be critical here, as we're all in the boat together. Mehbe you've got some different experiences, a year seems a tad long tho.

I'll say it, I feel like being a jerk right now.

A year is -forever- in dating terms.
People get -divorced- in less than a year!
People get -engaged- to a spouse they have been with for a year!
Most friendships don't even -last- longer than a year!

Then you get the whole "friendship circle" and "he must not be interested in me because we've been friends for over 2 weeks and he hasn't asked me out" syndrome.

^Still the truth.

Tho in my experience, of the 6 actual friends I have, a combined total of 50 years of friendship has accumulated. Those that last less than a year or two aren't really considered friends by me, they'd be friends if we kept in touch today. The way I see it anyhow.

Yeah, they become obsolete as fast as PC hardware.

Are you cleverly insulting PC hardware speed increases? lol, j/k
To even imply that hardware is anywhere close to the insane speed of dating! The nerve!

Comparison Factor (Time till obsolete):
Top of the line computer- 2 weeks
Top of the line girlfriend- Tomorrow

1. Don't go on Wrong planet to ask for advice, most of us here have no more of an idea than you do.

2. Don't over think, ask her out when it feels comfortable between you too. How to determine that? I don't know, but you will know if a girl doesn't like you like that.

3. Prepare for disappointment, even if she does say yes she may back out or given no definite date hoping you will give up. The I'm busy thing means NOOOOOOOOOOO. A girl will NEVER say she is to busy if she really wants to get to know you.

4. If you do go, prepare for awkward silence, but you may get lucky. Keep trying and keep your head up.

You ask her when ever you see her again. You tell her that you'd like to go out sometime. Tell her that you stay pretty busy but you'd like to get to know her better then suggest a date. Don't over think it, just keep it simple.

In my line of work, it's what I advise. the way I see it. A relationship can only work after you've gotten to know the person well enough.

The year thing might be a bit off, but somewhere between 6 months to a year is what I do advise.

Elvis put it right, "Wise Man say, Only fools rush in...." and he is right, half the relationships are rushed into with less foresight then forethought.

That's why the 10% that do survive is because they've done entirely right. The other 90% fall because they didn't do what was needed, those relationships are mostly if not all based on lust and physical want and so forth (sex and so forth) that they litterly consume the person.

So yes, my advice is odd but sound, and it works.

There are no rules and no statistics on this. its all about the connection between the to persons. a week, month, year... who really cares as long as you know eachother a bit and want to get to know eachother better/ or go from just being friends to a closer relationship.
"Only fools rush in..." nah.. its never to late to withdraw if it feels wrong.