This isn't me being insensitive

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^Then he's a lucky guy. Really lucky, because there aren't a lot of girls like you out there.

I honestly wish you were right, but even if what you say is true, you are merely one exception to the general rule. And I'm not making this crap up... I have seen what women put in their dating profiles. More often than not, it's the same thing: "I'm looking for a confident, outgoing guy who knows what he wants in life." Every very time I've read that, it felt like a punch in the stomach, because I knew that I'm not outgoing enough to live up to that standard. It's like being rejected without even asking. But it's the truth, whether I like it or not.

But you can learn. Just face the pain full on. Social awkwardness isn't the worst thing in life ... in fact is has zero mortality rate so it is probably the safest thing you can do in life

Cyberdude, it sucks that you've only read dating profiles of crap women with boring, monotonous expectations. Bear in mind that not all women are crap and have crap expectations of guys. Keep an eye out for dating profiles that read something like 'Only spontaneous individuals with no specific direction in life need apply'.
Try an ADD forum for dating profiles ... should be a hoot. >:}

HRH Swan

Oh and in response to the comment made about learning ... bugger that ... I personally would rather be alone than have to adapt to someone else's expectations >:{

wow, he sounds like the perfect guy

Keep an eye out for dating profiles that read something like 'Only spontaneous individuals with no specific direction in life need apply'.

Absolutely, because those are most likely to be fake, created by the people who run the site to lure in the kind of people who'll pay for these services.

I think that would be considered false advertising if the company did something like that...so I doubt they do it. You can sued for stupid stuff like that quite easily. Highly unethical to boot.

The reverse is also true. Guys generally want girls with confidence, extroversion, and direction over us girls with zero self-esteem, extreme shyness, and no idea what we're going to do with our lives. Just as society might expect men to be tough, it expects women to be the care givers and to shape 20 (or 30) something men into 'presentable' husbands. Chris isn't supposed to help me feel better, drag me out of the house, or encourage me make plans, but he does. I think the traditional relationships tend to break more often than the non-traditional relationships because the expectations are so rigid and defined for a traditional relationship. Like with PrincessSwan's situation, there's a certain innate strength in role reversal, maybe because it takes more security to be different...

No one is expected to be perfect. It's the way things are.

HRH and LadyGirl. To you, I salute.

You've both found the perfect guy, especially you Swan, you have to deal with a lot more because you're ADD and he's AS, and you're strong, you are going against what a female is supposed to be, you're supposed to be the demure female, wanting the prince charming to sweep her off her feet. Instead, it's all the opposite, you do what you have, because you love him and you care for him. that I find remarkable.

While that is somewhat true, it's not to the same extent. Being shy does not always make a woman unattractive, but it usually does to a man.

You're like a small puppy that defecates on your best Persian rug every time you've just finished cleaning.

I'm sincerely sorry, but can't you at least make an obligatory post once every week reading: "Whee, life!"?

I've been dealing with this guy for a while. I don't think he can.

I think he's so against romance that he has no reason to be happy. hence his name and avy.

Meh, it's just that despite my AS, femininity, introversion and small, ectomorphic build, I remain very much sensuous, quite confident, merry and game for meeting people. Just wish he could share in with the fun instead of inhabiting the persona of an '80s sci-fi robot.

The reason for my negative (but truthful) statement is because the OP obviously made this thread to show off and get a pat on the back. She tries to cover it up by claiming that it "isn't me being insensitive," and tries to imply that it's some kind of victory for other Aspies because "if I can do it, so can you"... but the truth is that this is only a victory for her. And statistically, female Aspies tend to fair better than male Aspies when it comes to relationships, so it's not that significant. Now, if we could see more male Aspies like Aspie_Chav or Tim_Tex having success, that would be significant.

Essentially she's just lighting up the mood 'twixt all these grim posts about our incapabilities, and gives good-hearted encouragement, in my interpretation. And when you're in love with that I can understand wanting to proudly declare it. Hey, it happened to me once, before I even knew I had AS or dealt with it. On top of that, I remain surprised as Tim's dating troubles; I hope the chap sees some success very soon. Evidence does seem to point to AS women being more successful, but I wholly suggest that this shouldn't be taken as a message that us fellows aren't doomed.

I can't really say much more than that, just that it doesn't really help to reply to even the success stories with "Oh, but I'm a fatalist", or at least, that kind of attitude.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Cyber.

You also forget the looks of Gamester, who has had a few successful relationships, and is currently working on one as well(she's already said yes, we're just waiting til the school year starts) so really. the dour mood that I see in all your postings everwhere is saddening.

Go out and live a little and become a Captain Jack (whatever his name is, Jack the guy from Doctor Who)