Taking a stand

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A one night stand?

I wish I could be like you and stop all this pining for a woman but I don't think I can, I really want to be in a relatonship...and it will probably end all the same... *sigh*...

"one night stand"

I wish!

Chin up Xercies. The pining never goes away. But by focusing your energies, it can be subdued. I go through periods where I feel desperate for female companionship, but then I always remember the price I would pay: having to sacrifice time for their whims, consoling them on the phone and listening to their problems. Not to mention having to sacrifice your ambitions when she demands you settle down and provide, starting with the most colossal waste of money: the wedding. Just remember those things, and wait, wait, wait until you are able to call some of the shots.

Stay Strong
BR

I guess you are right... Thanks...

Your`re 24 years old. Come back in 10 years and tell me the same things
like you belive them then """ settle down and provide, starting with the most
colossal waste of money: the wedding"" to me it sounds dreamy, money means
nothing! when two people care about each other. She wants it, she got it. Cool with me,
happy i could help. Enjoy these days, because sooner then you know you hit 30, and
that can be a big ugly surprise. If my girl wants something, she gets it. I dont care
about the $ and the work to get it, its so meaningless. Of course one can stay home alone counting piles of cash and the biggest problem is where you gonna put it all, but thats no
fun at all, meaningless to me. Have little use for money if i cant use it to make my girl happy.

""wait, wait, wait""....i dont know..things suddenly disappear that way, you dont know what
you have until its gone. I have waited myself out of too many things, and i regret it.

Lets say i meet a girl and she dreams of a $200,000 wedding. Of course she will get it,
it makes her happy and then i am happy. $200,000 is worth $0 compared to happiness. Dont care if i have to sell blood everyday, she will get it. Of course this is just my personal point of wiew, not a "right/wrong" recepie or anything, just how i feel.

What about when women use you for your money, the $200k wedding, and then split? Where is your happyness now?

Please, just have some common sense. You can buy 2 decent houses for 200k, don't be ridiculous.
I agree that money can only get you so far, but if I have to work so hard that I can't enjoy the money that I earn because she wants to spend it on frivolous stuff, then that is not a recipe for happiness.

In all honesty, if they can't be happy w/o me spending money, then I don't think I want a girl like that.
I'd prefer financial security and no girl over a life of debt w/ a happy girl.

I don't get the really expensive weddings either, but if I love the woman enough i wouldn't mind paying for a speciel day or buying the nice stuff that she wants. but i will have to know whether she wants my money or she actualyl loves me before doing this...

Never been a problem, i`m no ones slave or doormatt and dont
do things like that the first i do. We`re just different, you would
pass out if you knew how much money i spent on my ex on trips
and such (we were together for around 8 years) but i didnt mind,
many of the times it was my idea. Same with the one before that.
Money means nothing to me in things like this, that what its for,
its a tool. I dont think of it as i have to hold on to it because i work
hard for it, money comes and goes. We`re just different, and i am
almost 10 years older then you, so we have different wiews for many
reasons. No right answer here i think. The huge wedding amount was just
a example, some differenses, if she suddenly just wants to spend
alot because she feels she can, thats a little different then if its a lifelong
childhood dream or something that cost alot for example.

I`m not saying go into a massive debt over a girl that would be risky indeed.
just make sure you dont have to do that and keep her happy is my motto
if it costs something or its free matter not, happy is key for me, not money.
If i were to keep track of how much relationships costs in $, i would feel like
i were insulting the person i was with, a person like that in my life have no
$ amount attached to it, cant be meizured in money that one. In the relationships
i`ve had we have shared everything. Never "my money", split foodcosts or anything,
we kept track of nothing and was happy as can be, easy and quite nice, it was ours.

Yeah, what your saying makes sense. It's just you have to be careful and not get carried away is all I'm say'n.
If I'm not putting money in retirement becuase I'm trying to please her with stuff, that's not good.
If I got an extra $200 and I spend it on her, sure, no problem, no counting, no qualms about it.
It's money, you spend it on things you like that you get enjoyment out of.

And sometimes if you spend that extra 200 you get something speciel in return...

Then we agree always good being a little careful, better safe then sorry

A prostitute...?

I really hope that's not the only reason why she's giv'n it up

Hey dude, what you did was perfectly understandible and admirable. It took a lot of guts to say that, particularly to a girl you liked. You probably knew going into this that telling her how it was might ruin things, but kudos to you for doing them.

If she doesn't respond back, she's either really busy or is just ignoring you and being a humongous b***h. If she's a self-centered b***h, drop her like a hot potato, she isn't worth pursuing.