Single forever?

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people are like moving objects to me. some are more special than the others but still just objects. i have no special connection with anyone. i understand now that i am not going to experience love in my live. and although been single my entire life, i believe that one day i am going to have family of my own. i met this girl, very intelligent one, i told her that i have never been in love and that i am not even able to because of the AS. but right after that i added that it doesnt matter because even NT people can feel the romantic version of love only for limited time 2 years max and then we all are in similar position anyway. she understood it and actually was impressed by this reasoning. if i wanted her we could be couple by now, but i am too career oriented and dont want to make sacrifices. but once i settle down i will change it.

you see, when a girl goes through few terrible relationships with NT's full of confusing feelings that make her to pair up and then argue with him about everything for the rest of their relationship, she might understand that someone more reasonable is what she needs. we just need to give them the time to learn the hard way that love is overestimated. that comes in the age of 30-40 years.

Love ... for me ... is not the romantic idealization that people making movies would have you believe.

True Love for me is an interdependence of two people wanting what is best for the other person. Not wilingly doing something to hurt the other person. An agreement between two people to care for the each other. The acceptance of another human beings as is, Loving them because they are flawed not in spite of.

I believe ~ NT's equate love to & as that feeling associated with a new relationship which I call Lust. When the lust is gone they go searching for new "love". The actual physical high you get from wanting to have sex with the other person. The biophysical reaction your body engages when "wanting" the other person. They (NT's) call it making love. The ultimate act of Love. For me that is just sex. A means to an end... It serves 2 purposes #1 Orgasm #2 Procreation. ~ Thats it.

Making love, for me, is the mental thought of & execution of caring for my husband & my children. and by societies standards I am the female in the relationship~ It is my role to make sure he/they is cared for, I make sure they are fed, laundry is clean, house is clean, so on & so forth. I cook because I like to cook... I like to create... My NT husband thinks that I cook because I love him.... I just don't "correct" his thinking. I smile and feel a connection to him because he is a presence in my life that is usually enjoyable. I enjoy his kisses, I enjoy having sex with him, he is a large, tall man that can touch me in a way I feel comforted (he wonders if he is too rough) but I feel his physical strength as "just the right amount of pressure) His hugs are firm.

I am the kind of person that can and does get over relationship endings very quickly, once it has ended (usually not by me). I am able to move on with little difficulty.

I too think of people as objects... I can & do replace them if they leave or are deemed unworthy (cheating, lying ect) My first husband was deemed unworthy of my "love" because he lusted after & abandonded his family for another woman. Did it hurt ... sort of... but more in a way of anger than actual hurt. He left us penniless, & me without means to supply housing or food for our children.. I found a way to do those things by myself after short time. However he was quickly replaced by another object (man)

One would ask "do I love my husband?" YES I do. Because his absence would cause a void in my life. But I can be alone or if I find an object (man) I like that void would be filled.

I hope this makes sense..

In that case, my bad Cyberman, I must have misunderstood. Well at least you learned about someone's life story in the meantime

I remember hearing somewhere about some studies being done on male and female babies. They had a small room with two entrances one right across from each other. They placed a crib in the middle of the room, and put the baby in it, and gave it a toy or bottle or something to keep it occupied. Then they had a person open one door, walk past the crib and go out the other door. I do not remember exactly how many infants they tested, or what the age was, but it was quite a lot. They said that every single male child would look up and acknowledge that the person made a noise at entrance, and then promptly went back to whatever it was they were doing. With the females, it was claimed that every one of them would look up as they heard the door open, and not only acknowledge that a person had entered the room, but would follow that person with their eyes until the person went out the other door.

The conclusion of this study was that males are basically task oriented, and females are basically relationship oriented. Now mind you I know that there are plenty exceptions to the rule, and depending on a person’s religious beliefs or lack thereof, might make total sense, or seem ridiculous, I did find this interesting, and it stuck in my mind. I know there are many other factors to consider, such as gay and transgender. Like how we are hard wired, so to speak. Dads’ taking care of protection and building stuff and mom’s tending to kids needs. Sort of like a guy saying, okay well, 10 tries, no luck, do I keep trying or just give up, and the woman saying, well, if I just try something else, or do something different maybe it will work. I know all of us are unique, and there are many variables, or course. It would be cool if we could all somehow learn to somehow find a good balance of both, so that the genders could get along better. Probably easier said than done?

I think this is a very simple thing... The problem is that not everyone is willing to participate. That being said.

If we all treat each other the way we would like to be treated, then most problems would disappear.

If you don't want to be teased then don't tease.
If you don't want to be hit, then don't hit.

Most people would rather judge, cheat ,steal whatever, to elevated their status, make a buck or increase their something instead ...

Love and marriage are just life's luxuries and so not everyone can afford them.