Non Single People

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I tried to be social and suave when I was in my mid teens, and boy lemme tell ya, it pretty much went NO WHERE.
But as I said before I am very intense and aggressive; the combination of such a temperment with a lack of good social skills seems to scare most women off. Most women are either intimidated by me or irritated with my pedantic style of conversation and obsessively categorical analysis of the world around me(the world of PEOPLE).

It wasn’t specifically for you, but if you take it as an insult you missed the point of what I'm saying. Helping people can make people feel good. This intern asserts their own self worth. All of these things are non tangible things, delusions by any definition. But good delusions.

People who are struggling socially should learn ways of believing in themselves. So it is a good thing in this way. Ego is necessary to some degree. I have ego or else I wouldn’t be here today.

Humans have behaviour, their conscious thoughts are on top of that, though interconnected, they are not literally concurrent or obvious.

Mind's eye is a great devise. We get more primal needs out of our sophisticated behaviours and choices.

I don't belive tha John has been misdignosed. Or more i belive in ASD not arbitary labels like Asperger's. We are not the same, we just have some overlap.

Some people may be more sussesptable to early intervention. Also have a propesity toward dating skills.

^^ and some are prettier/ sexier than the others, don't ever forget that

True but if you are not confident you will be less successful than if you are.

Neither do I. Perhaps he just has a milder case of it than many of us. My case is rather severe according to an NT woman with an Aspie bf. Nonetheless, with me it certainly affects my gait and physical mannerisms in a noticeable way.

True, combination of factors , always been...

Hmmmmm . When I was confident it didnt seem to get me anywhere. Prolly cos I was asking out girls that werent attracted to me in the first place. Everybody says confidence is sexy in men but I personally like women who are confident which is not easy to find since most young NT women are rather insecure.

Argh, woken up by the damn college fire alarm!

I am very similar to John in a lot of ways, definitely with the social skills area (I'm probably a lot more socially competent than many NT's I know), and I've learned to empathize and read body language to some extent (which still is like blundering compared to my friends, but they laugh it off as "quirky") but I do this consciously, not sub-consciously, except for the really really basic stuff. I actually read a body language book on the holidays, which helped me immensely in deciphering body language this year. And sometimes I still can't figure out the right empathy motions to make towards someone. I couldn't imagine just being able to know stuff about people like that sub-consciously though.
I was also put through forced "NT training" as I like to call it by my parents pretty much all of my life (from way before I was diagnosed even, their knee jerk reaction was "There's something wrong with her, lets train it out of her"), where they would actually make me do stuff like looking in a mirror while eating, looking into their eyes while talking (they'd constantly interrupt me if i didn't), walking up and down the stairs 50 times so I'd remember to lock the front door, making me socialize and greet all the kids at school and ask them how their holidays were (didn't make me too popular, that one) cause otherwise I simply wouldn't talk to kids and read instead, etc etc. I also believe I have stuff to contribute to this site and this forum, but mostly I am here for my own personal enjoyment - the enjoyment of talking to others like me.

I was not trying to suggest that John hopkins did not have aspergers, I was just asking why he thought he had it. I was kinda expecting him to say why

I expect most people would not realise I had it if they met me as I look ok but I feel much more aspie now than ever. I sometimes wonder if I am schizotypal as I often dont relate to other aspies experience but my mother says Im not (shes a psych nurse).

I ve really tried very hard and done lots of reading for years but nothing makes any improvement. I might look more convinsingly NT but I still feel the same inside. I dont understand how someone could alter how things make them feel no matter the disapline.

Dont get cross at me John Iam really not trying to be aggravating , I just want to understand and Ive had a bad day so I know I sound agro.

Nobody is getting aggro this is a civilised dialogue

I did not mean that he was (or anyone was) I just did not want to make him cross, thats all. I re read my post and thought it sounded rude so I wanted to stress that it was not intended as rude and any rudeness in it was due to me being crap rather than directed toward John.

I think people with partners answer in the love and dating forum to give us advice as to their success.
I think they have partners due to luck/chance of meeting someone, so the advice does not work.

I think some of us are unlikable and advice will not change it, so we are stuck being alone. If we were not crap we would have someone and advice will not make us charming. Social skills are not gained through osmosis.

happy today arn't I

i come here because while my girlfriend and I love each other i find more often than not I don't really know what i'm doing (i know most of us don't but still) and i find i need advice if i f**k up, if nothing else to just clear my head.

It's because I read the forums using an RSS reader and it doesn't tell me WHERE something has been posted.

Added to that, a lot of single people can use advice from those that aren't

I don't see why single people would come here any more/less than non-single people. The forum is "Love and Dating" not, "Love and Dating for Singles".

I didn't say they wouldn't, I asking why different people come. To find out what sort of things they use it for.