A question to ponder

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I know this is off topic. But I would love to know about any adults with AS groups out there. I was an adult when I got Diagnosed and it explained alot. But all the support groups for AS I have seen have been about helping the parent with the kid with AS, or helping younger people with AS. We need a group for adults.

Mail-order, no doubt?

Prepare to be stampeded by drooling losers, then!

Oh, slap you upside the head BPalmer. She was not a mailorder bride. She did live in a small town forty miles up the freeway.

Sorry to be so cynical.

Oh, BPalmer, I thought you were joking and I joked back. Sort of. I'm not really mad at you.

Oh, OK. Glad to have cleared that up! I probably sound pretty negative, but when you've known nothing but negative reactions your whole life, that's what happens.

Yes it is something that is really sad for us aspies. We just have to hide ourselves away.

sorry, but...

Now that I've got that out of the way *wipes tears of laughter from her eyes*, the solution to your dilemma is simple. Find that specialized group of buyers. Find and make friends with people like you, that's the way to go about it. They don't need to necessarily be other aspies, any people who also have an alternate outlook on life, or you feel you could connect with. There are NT's like that too. I think the trick to it is to meet as many people as possible, make contacts/friends, and try to find the small pocket groups of "unusual people" and integrate yourself with them. I've just been considering this recently. I only have a few "unusual" friends (like myself) but I often feel 10* more happy and stimulated when I'm around them than when I'm with my normal friends. Of course, I love my normal friends too and wouldn't lose them for the world, they bring a different perspective on things, but I'm beginning to learn that it's important to get to know people like you as well.

Agree! It can mean having to cast a fairly wide net, though - I've got along with people interstate, and in particular one in the US whom I'm visiting in a few weeks' time. To he honest, I often feel resentful about being some niche-market weirdo, instead of a simple, salt-of-the-earth ordinary Joe, hanging out with their mates, and falling in love at a young age, with a nice girl they went to school with.

niche market weirdo. . .gack, it's the story of my life. . .

Merle

Me too , although I seem to be able to also integrate myself in with the norms lately for some reason...

I have yet to find another person like me. Another chameleon (for the want of a better word). It seems I can go wherever I want, and be whoever I want to be for the day, but nobody can follow...

It's free and exhilarating but lonely. However, I wouldn't have things any other way.

About the market analogy... Since we're not in high demand, I guess the typical Aspie man could be considered the "Poor Woman's Date." You either have to work on making yourself meet the average woman's incredibly high standards, or you have to lower your own standards to include women who are generally regarded as being very unattractive.

^You know what? You've hit the nail squarely on the head. Anyone who believes it being about "compatibility", or that "love conquers all", is fooling themselves.

I disagree men are available to me just the same as anyone else.
I know an attractive lady that is a school Teacher and she is married to a man with AS. If your chances are limited it's is simply because of of impairments in social skills or you are not interacting with enough people.

I can be really quiet and it can take me awhile to catch on. Sometimes I dont feel like doing the social thing. I will just talk about what I want. If people are not interested what I am saying. I just wont talk. Other times I just pretend to listen to people because I am not in the mood for listening.

However, other times I can be really out going and the life of the party or I am like the girl that people say "she is strange."
When I snap out of how I supposed to be acting. I am just happy and friendly and every one loves me.

I can be very good at meeting new people and making friends.
What stops me from being my usual self is stress. Then if I get depressed or anxious; it just zaps my spark out.
When everything is going well people would describe me as being 'bright and bubbly' personality type and people like being around me.

Sadly this is not often the case. I am sensitive and have difficulty adjusting to change or stress. It is nearly like I go through episodes and have a personality change. It is mental health problems and not AS that prevents me from mixing with other people like I normally would want to.

You can get some one easy. You just need to make a consistent effort and get out there. Learn to be out going. You'd be suprised.

The thing is though, we'll also very rare. Sunshower: I am STILL looking for that specialized *market* but I have to say, I dont think its such a wise idea to restrict myself to only dating other people on the Autistic spectrum(yet). But I WILL say that Im thoroughly convinced that whoever I find, whoever I end up with, she will most certainly not be normal-eve though she might be abnormal in a different way than I am.