Parents Forcing an Arranged Marriage Upon Me

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A few questions

You can protest! In Kazakhstan, arranged marriages are illegal and you will get in trouble. Just a question, what are you doing in Astana?

Not all conservative Hindus practice arranged marriages. Are in you in the upper castes or in the middle or lower?

If I am correct(I am not Hindu), the higher castes are more likely to have arranged marriages.

Good luck!

To the OP

You pissed me off greatly already in the start with what your reasons are. Hello einstein, marriage does NOT damn mean having children. And of course you would not "understand" as it seems you havnt ever loved anyone that much it seems.

And also, if every dang person was like you, in lets say around 100 years all life on earth would be reduced almost to zero.

You seem to value your freedom, ironic how you are born into a culture where there is no freedom.

But yeah, no children = no population = death of humanity in the long run.

If we look past your stupid reasons ( imo they are) and we look at the fact you dont want to marry and be your parents well behaved dog.

Its your rigth, to chose if you will marry or not, your 22 yet can't stand up for yourself? Show some back spine or whatever people call it, move away or god knows what.

And single does not equal childless, as any number of men paying child support can tell you...

Hi
All the advice is easier said than done. You obviously have grown up in this culture and with these expectations. You do not want to anger or displease your parents. The big problem is not only your own unhappiness, but what about the woman and children who would have a husband/ father who is miserable and did not want them in the first place. Children should have parents who want them and love them. We do not need any more dysfunctional people in the world. So in short... The answer is no. You should not marry, why make several people miserable.

I kinda wanna trade places with you, OP. I could sure have a wife nowadays.

Parents in those cultures are also the best matchmakers. They'll know whose personalities match their children's.

Anyway, why don't you apply to study abroad in a western country, convert to Christianity, and SPEAK YOUR OWN MIND.

Yeah but your chosen wife might not look as good as you assumed.

Jeez, that's a bit harsh. The OP was looking for advice, not to be attacked.

Screw the looks. She'll probably do just fine. If she is hideous enough, I'll bring her on a date to a makeover salon. I'll get a makeover too so she doesn't get suspicious.

(Although my makeover may be less intensive than hers.)

I was forced into an arranged marriage. What a mistake! My parents would not let me leave home without marrying because I was female and they were very religious (not Indian, just extreme Christian beliefs). All I can sayis that if you really do not want to do this, you must find a way not to. Marrying that man was probably the worst thing I ever did, it ruined my life.

That's really rude and uncalled for. He has been raised in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm. He doesn't want to get married, that's his choice and his perogative, for whatever reason.

Coming to ask for help, and you mock and deliver absurdity. Not impressed. And I'd love to know the basis for your matchmaker comment, if you don't mind.

OP, it's a matter of deciding whether the familial rule and body is what you want, or your freedom. If you go against them, you risk losing them but you keep your sense of self. You can be married and produce in other avenues of society; it just might take a different society to allow you to do so freely. I'm sorry to hear about the position you are in; what some would call leveraged, as your family is being used against the lever of your future.


M.

Freedom is slavery, Orwell's 1984. It is true in his book and it is also true being single and lonely is even worse.

Working and family give meaning to life, being single and consuming the earth resources does not

Well my parents are both turkish and muslim, what do you think that spells out?
ok for me it's not arranged marriage but marriage and it's somethign they want me to do when i'm like 21 or something, and guess what?
EVEN if my parents are muslim, i'm an atheist, and i never botherd with the culture either, each of my parents nag on me about something anyway, do i give in? NO, it's my right to say no, even if it's the culture, and i dont think, that it's "law" in where he lives, that he has to marry, it's culture, and culture can be broken, law cant.

Yeah i know, it's harsh, but it's true, am i lying? no
It's either obaying like a dog, or rebeling as a human.
thats how i see it.

I'm sorry, but I agree. I'm having a hard time feeling sympathy for the OP. He lives in a culture where he can choose to not marry without being burned alive or something. Given the kind of gender slavery that can be imposed on women of his culture due to poorly arranged or abusive marriage, I'm not sure what his problem is.

Also, the cycle he recites as an inhumane one, is something that a lot of people can find meaning in. It's not like he's talking about slavery. A researcher or professional who can't stand the minimal amount of time and energy and money commitment to have a wife and family will also be that person who can't take care of themselves. It's much easier to have a full time wife than it is to take care of all your own cooking, laundry, bills, etc.

Let's say the worst is that he will have to confront the issue and say no. What would that require other than he man up to the fact that he has no room in his life for anyone or anything but himself? All he has to do is be a man and tell his family like it is. It's not like he's a woman and his life will be destroyed for him if he doesn't go along.

Will he be burned alive if he refuses? No. He probably wouldn't even be shunned.