Is dating really hard?

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The hardest part for me is putting myself in a situation where I'd even be around someone I'd want to date. There are no female employees where I work and no (single) women participate in any of the activities/hobbies I enjoy.

The dating issue is a matter of paradigm. Some people are taken to just being them, many aren't, and many aspies can work on social skills till their blue in the face with no results. Our problem is nonverbals, attraction is mostly without communication, and if your personality is too alternative or self-made that trips people out a lot as well.

I'd say try whatever means you can, just know that if you do well great, if you don't it doesn't mean your necessarily a socially ret*d loser either (people have a really weird correlation with being undatable to that and its not true - most of it is how common your personality is, you can be above, below, left, or right of the mark and your still just as much out in the cold).

should you reveal to her that you have AS?

What would it accomplish? If the person has gotten to know you, then they mostly know your personality. On the other hand, if they do not know you, then telling a person you have AS gives them a basis for assumptions.

It's good to be open and honest, but if you have an oft-misunderstood label, then using it doesn't really help anything, or anyone.

The only time you share that you have AS on a date is when and if the topic comes up about sharing long term life experiences and struggles, and you share it only in the form of a factoid about you (and on the first date - I still really wouldn't recommend it, perhaps several later in that context). Its something that you don't tell someone early on because you don't want it to overpower 'you' as separate from your AS. If you tell them later in the context of just sharing (much like if someone casually mentioned anything from OCD to a bad knee to hypoglycemia) - it just gives them an added understand where, if they see something unusual or esoteric and they can't place it, instead of having that make their brain itch they instantly have a stable framework to place that in and they can relate/make sense of what they're seeing, putting it in context, and that usually puts them at greater ease.