Requesting Emergency Help: Dating a girl with BPD...

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It is has a higher rate of diagnosis in women, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. AS is diagnosed more often in males, but as we see here on this site, plenty of women have it and may be more likely to be misdiagnosed.

I suspect that both AS and BPD have a closer frequency of actual manifestation in both sexes than current data indicates. I think AS is probably over-diagnosed in males and under-diagnosed in females. Vice versa with BPD.

It's interesting that both AS and BPD are widely stigmatized and not very well understood, or even well defined, creating all kinds of controversy. Both also encompass a wide range of characteristics. Before stereotyping people with BPD, take some time to ask how well the AS stereotypes apply to you and other AS people you may know or know of.

I have actually had several friends with BPD, not just that one serious relationship. Coincidentally, they were all men. And we had a lot in common and had fun together. There is, or can be, a good side to BPD, in my opinion, and a lot of the people who have it can have fairly normal relationships with other people.

Everyone has problems; what matters is the way in which you deal with them.

IMO the borderline PD label is quite unhelpful & damaging (perhaps not to the psychiatry industry though ) Its not a 'real' medical thing at all, just a diagnostic classification, an attempt to make sense of atypical behaviour.

IMO the bpd traits are a web of maladaptive defense mechanisms that the sufferer has developed over the years as a way of dealing with emotional stress. The sufferer has the potential to heal themselves, although it wont be easy. I think its important that their partners, family etc understand this. Then again, as 'bpd' is a another BS psych classification anyway theres the possibilty that some or all of their issues have a different basis - ie neurodiversity. The essays by A.J.Mahari make very good reading - when i came across her stuff she was a 'healed borderline' and i found her thoughts and perspectives very moving & helpful, although clearly i didnt have the stereotype bpd stuff myself. I looked her up recently & shes now diagnosed with AS as well!

As for the male/female thing, i think childhood sexual abuse is strongly correlated to bpd (IIRC) - so that would explain why (human sexuality being what it is) more girls develop those traits, or have them to a greater degree.

Haven't even bothered reading what other epople have read. The short is. DON'T, run for the frikin hills.I've dated 2 of them and OMFG ..the horror. Get out, run.

I would never date a girl who is bipolar, alcoholic/drug addict, or any other serious problem. I have enough issues of my own that can destroy the relationship (and have in the past). It's not worth it to try and date someone that messed up... especially for an aspergers person. Even a "normal" NT person can drive you insane pretty quickly...