Why did i end up like this?

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I had no boyfriend until almost turning 27. I didn't have the desire to date until that age, but I did have a lot of guy friends. Usually these guys were aspie like or the artsy type. Go find an aspie or artsy girl that you get along with and be just friends.
It's better than not having a friend-girl or girl-firend.

Wanting "a girlfriend in high school" is like wanting "to win the lottery".

It's even more like wishing that lightning would hit the school and burn it down.


All of these things could happen, and sometimes they do happen,
but there is nothing you can do to MAKE them happen just by wanting them to happen.

I'm 30 and also havn't ever been in a relationship. The only advice I will give you is when the opportunity comes along DO NOT DO NOTHING unless you would rather have a lifetime of regrets.

Here's a question. Should you define your existence with a relationship? Are you really going to think it's all going to be better if you get into a relationship? Seriously, this question goes out to everyone else thinking like this.

It's just how it's perceived to some people.

This is an interesting remark from my standpoint because I had almost the same attitude as you did, and it was ultimately quite self-defeating.

When I was sixteen I was upset at not having the "experience" either, because people I knew were starting out and I think there was a (false/misleading) air of expectation or entitlement that what they were going through I should be going through as well. In a few years though the great majority of the people in the couples I saw were, if not single, in different and more serious relationships. The whole business of taking pride in your first kiss and suchlike then started to appear quite trivial, and the pressure went with it. The goal became more about finding the right person - after all if I end up happening to meet the right girl for me next year I'd already be better off than the great majority of guys, regardless of how little experience I have.

Of course, in years to come if things don't work out for me I may find the pool of women getting smaller and smaller and I'd have other things to worry about. But I don't think I'll ever feel as distraught over the whole thing as I was when I was fifteen/sixteen and looking for the "experience". Since the source of your worries seems similar to what mine was I'm sure that over time you may similarly find that most of your present relationship worries are senseless, even if you go through all your high school and college years dateless.

BS, you're all just desperate. Tias is right. In all actuality, what you all want is just shallow sex or just somebody to pat you on the back and say that you've still got it (Andrew Ryan quote for the Bioshock players). Here and I thought you were proud to be individual spirits. You're more dependent on others than possibly NTs.

Cut 'em some slack, they're only 16. Not even adults yet, in most respects.

Yes, but at 16, he claims he knows EXACTLY what he wants. Which is a relationship, whether he is mentally or physically ready for it.

let me put this as straight as a line. I'm looking for a long-term relationship, someone else in my life. Yes, i have seen other people who I know that they don't know what they are looking for. I'm lookin for someone to be there when times are rough, when I have no one to talk to.

Don't tell me I don't. I'm not an idiot.

This is a very difficult thing to learn: focus on the good stuff in your life. You're so young, and it's almost impossible to realize this without being more mature, but trust me, by focusing on the good stuff, that you're young, healthy, you go to a great school, you learn the tools to be happy in life, and that's more precious than a relationship.

You're driving yourself crazy by obsessing on something that you have very little control over, and by doing so, you're preventing yourself from enjoying what could be an amazing time in your life.

Just because a guy used you in that way , that doesn't mean that all guys are like him.

And oh...humans with asperger syndrome are just humans , calling them "aspies" won't make them a different or a better species.

But you don't even have any friends or social skills, how do you expect to accomplish this. Do you expect someone to fall out of the blue and accept despite this?

Not everyone can.


Uh...no...Im sorry but that is blatenly incorrect. At least in the US it is, I dont understand why depriving your self of a relationship when its prefectly suitable at this age is needed. Many "old folks" think this way (no offense) because in there day dating was much different and started at a different age.

Last edited by Airborne on 30 Dec 2008, 4:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Everyone CAN get through. You find something else to do besides w*king over somebody and obsessing over it. And if can't handle it, then tell me what you intend to do. I'm curious.

if your high school environs is hostile, get out. anything but stay.

if hs seems to lock you into a life you refuse, see above.

females can smell the anger and rage and contempt, and it repels them. a few are drawn to it, but beware. i think the magic happens when you love who you are so much you barely notice when/if everyone else does.

so work on yourself.

last, if you spend all your time waiting for the right one, why do you think you would be prepared for when it actually happens? What happens if you meet the girl for you but you spent so much time and energy looking (and hating yourself for not finding) that you have nothing interesting to say? If you are in a foul mood? If you let your health slip?

Relax youngsta. Just relax. If you show patience and dedication to doing right by yourself and your people, girls will find you. You might not like them so much, (how ironic) but be nice and get the experience for later, when you will really really need it.

The battle never ends. No violence.