Attracted to friends

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I always seem to get attracted to friends and things like that. I guess it is because my attraction has to have a mental component so if I talk to someone and get along with them and such this satisfies the mental requirements of them being likeable and bla bla bla. So, I promptly start to like them and screw things over. Oh well, at least I don't have too many female friends.... er.... not sure if that is a good thing because I would almost like to have a girl just to see what it is like. Oh well, it is all good.

I always become more attracted to girls as I get to know them better; I just don't feel much towards people until I know them at least somewhat. I was very close friends with my current girlfriend for about 18 months before I became more intimately involved with her, and in a way we're still friends in much the same way, except with sex included in the package, and since it's an open relationship, we still get to talk about the people we've been seeing/crushing on/whatever (she slept with a guy on new-years and came to me for advice on why he doesn't seem interested anymore).

It seems a pretty natural way of going about it to me, and it's working out quite well. I don't think it's likely that I'll ever get into a relationship with someone I *wasn't* friends with first, and being friends first may make the whole thing more stable and relaxed (I'd have to try it with a few other friends first to be sure).

WOW are all aspie girls bi. Damn aspie guys really don't have a chance then. Not only is there a 4 to one ratio of aspie guys to aspie girls but most of the aspie girls are more interested in each other than guys.

Often when someone is bi, they'll still prefer one gender over the other. Also, there still seem to be a lot of straight aspie girls out there too.

Honestly, i am completely lost on all this.

First of all, i don't see a problem with become attracted to friends. "love at first sight", isn't love at all, its lust. How can you love someone, if you haven't even gotten to know them? All you know is the sight of them.
I would think that it is both natural and healthy to begin to 'feel more' than just friends with someone. After all, the reason you are friends is because you are attracted to their personalities, you have common interrests, and have developed a comfort level with them.
Most (happily) married people would agree that, their spouse is their best friend! Which also makes perfect sense. You make decissions together, you go on dates, you share things (material and intangible), you talk, alot, and you struggle through life as a team. They become your haven, the person you lean on or turn to.


I would caution, however, not to mistake (loving) attraction with lonliness. I find, Oft times people just need to be validated by another. Having someone else enter into a loving relation ship with you is validating, of the self. Many times people feel, ' i am attractive, after all this other person is willing to become involved with me, so i must have some value, at least to them.'

I would caution, however, not to mistake horniness, for attraction (especially the males). Sex drive, is just that, it drives you. Many people oft times make decissions stemmed from their labido. This is natural, but must be considered as a driving force, and not mistaken for love.
Society dicates to us that Sex should be shared between two people who love each other. It is a private act. Based upon the idea that all animals are instinctual, i would disagree with the standards that society has adapted on the subject of sex.
Ever see a cat in heat? The female will literally begin this mating call, lay down on her belly, toss her tail in the air and let all the males line up and have a turn. Cats do not reason, the act from pure insinct (or pavlov's theory). hUMAN BEINGS ON THE OTHER HAND HAVE THE ABILITY TO REASON (SOME OF US). But ultimately, we are animals ourselves. Human beings also, are bound by instincts, to a lesser degree than other animals. Boung nontheless.
Societies standards about sex is not natural, but it is reasonable. Human beings have reasoned that their are costs involved with the act of sex. Secondary effects, which require responsibilities. As a result we have reasoned sex down our chart of 'instinctual priorities.'

The reason i turned this post into a sex talk is because that is the bottom line for this discussion. Friendship that includes sex is a friendship at a higher level. Intimacy becomes involved, as well as other factors. Which include; ownership, jealousy, love, commitment, and more.
And the reason is sex. If you are exclusive with someone and do not have sex, then you are intimate friends, but not lovers.

I think, LOVE=SEX or SEX=LOVE. or it becomes a major defining factor when attempting to define love.

Ah hell i don't know, focus shift. i am lost.
maybe later i will finish my arguments. this is by no means complete, food for thought, that's all.

A more-than-platonic attraction to a friend might occur someday, but it would depend on the situation if I'd act on it.