The online me vs the real me

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at pics.

I never faked pics tho and I was always honest about my weight , height and body type.

I've experienced much the same thing, & here's my take on why "online me" generates more interest than "real life me".

Online, everyone in nothing more than a screen name, so it leaves a lot of holes about what someone is really like. Factors such as social affiliation, body language, fashion, & any physical mannerisms don't show. Only the substance of what you say does. You could be online talking about the good job you have, your pets, places you've gone, your hobbies, etc.... and give a very good impression. Someone reading all these wonderful things about you will fill the holes with their highest hopes & expectations of what they imagine someone with a resume like yours would be like. However, when they meet you in real life, everything shows & it's usually a dissapointment.

I remember one time I talked about all the concerts I've been too & what my favorite venues were. The girl I was talking built me up to be some kind of extroverted, well-connected, music scene socialite. However, when she found I was a quiet & introverted guy who likes to just sit & listen to music, she lost interest.

It gets brutal sometimes, as I'll get hostility & claims I was lying. I didn't lie though, just not everything showed through online. Even when I try to explain my introversion before meeting, it's often brushed off that I'm just being modest. The full effect never hits until they meet me for themselves.

IRL I'm nervous and have a couple of bad habits. I may also show a sense of humour that I don't show online quite as often, I'm less dry that way. A couple of girls told me online that they found me interesting, but this interest of theirs seemed to gradually wane.

online is a fantasy. real life destroys the fantasy.

It might not be that you do not live up to your online persona. It might be that you do not live up to the ideal they have created in their head of what you will be like. that and women change their minds frequently and base many of their decisions on emotion. They meet you and they don't feel the exploding butterflies like they think they should feel. So if it doesn't "feel right" then you are the friend (discarded) and they are off to find a new fantasy to pursue.

it is also why some people suceed at long distance relationships and not at close range relationships. They make up traits and characteristics for the person who is not around. And when they move in together or move closer, they discover that the person they are dating did not have those traits, they had other more "annoying" ones. And instead of working it out, they break up.

I just listened to a very interesting podcast lecture (partly) on the subject and basically the problem is- whenever an image of another person is vague, the other person will fill in the gaps with overly optimistic expectations. there is no escaping this, it's a trick of the human mind. it's also the secret of the success of online dating sites.

so basically, if you want to avoid letdown as much as possible, you need to make your image as sharp and real as possible for the other person. there's always going to be gaps, obviously, but that seems to be the best you can do to prevent overly high expectations.

Online i seem to attract alot more females than in real life.
and i have a friend, who lives in america and who has shown my picture to alot of her frinds, who all said i looked cute/hot and what not, sadly none in real life have said so. And no, i dont look any different from in my pictures.
I guess it's just my shy/low self-esteem and some quirks or something