Think I found something important in aspie-NT relationships

Post Reply New Topic

Some really interesting comments. I agree with the original post and also what Sola posted, so that's a mega-quadruple reinforcement, I think? I've experienced both being lucky to find an NT who originally liked listening to my continual rambles. And also my tendancy to go over negative things repeatedly. Eventually, the monologues can get really irksome and become a serious problem within the relationship. (See the thread on "NT's do things with conversation" for a good run through of the differences in our communication styles)

It goes both ways, though. To me, I could never understand why my NT partner seemed to 'bury her head in the sand' over the negative issues. And then get all traumatised and, in my opinion, totally overreact about something that could have been easily foreseen. If only you're prepared to face reality as it is, not how it is in cloud cuckoo land.

On the other hand, I recall spending hours and hours listening to my NT partner repeat the same anecdotes at *every* social occasion, to every person we ever met. This gets really irritating after 15 years! The worst aspect was that these anecdotes were 'embellished' with every retelling, so quite quickly they become more or less total fiction being presented as truth. But told oh-so-convincingly. I don't know whether all NT's do this, but when gathered together, they do seem to tell rather a lot of unbelievable stories. Having seen how these stories develop, I'm now convinced it is all half-truths at best.

If you can't talk openly to your partner, then what's the point? I thought relationships were mainly about enjoying each other's company. I don't see how a long-term relationship could work very well unless your partner shared some of your interests, and didn't mind talking about them sometimes.

One of my main problems is that my interests tend to be pretty boring to most NT women (and vice versa.) But I still wouldn't want to be with one who I couldn't talk to.

Yes, great post! My AS bf is obsessed with theater and knows every actor, director and production in the world. I happen to work in theater, so when he rambles on about it, I use the opportunity to get a free education.

NTs are ingrained with certain social norms, its hard to get away from that. I remember this girl I was talking to conversation went
Me: "Is something wrong?"
Her: "nothing"
Me: "remember when I said if something is bothering you to be blunt about it because I will take what you say at face value"
She then proceeded to tell me what was the matter. Still not the directness I'd like, but I can live with it

NT's and I don't get on very well, thry always say things behind my back.