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Dating an Aspie "successfully"....

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mangledheart
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28 Jan 2009, 3:45 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Esther wrote:
Although ToadofSteel argues that most aspies are monogamous, I believe that this applies mostly to physical monogamy but never ever to emotional fidelity. My AS ex-husband-to-be is/was very much like your Brian. He believed that so long as he was not having actual sex with anyone, he had full license to flirt with anyone.


There are plenty of NT men that feel the same way... As I said before, sexuality seems to have the same spread regardless of AS status...


Not that I'm arguing the point, but would it not be a viable suggestion to say that perhaps ASD prevents a person who feels this way from seeing the forest for the trees? Perhaps the Aspie might not have a "concrete" reference for why flirting/cheating has any emotional weight aka "why does it matter" type of thing.



ToadOfSteel
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28 Jan 2009, 3:56 pm

mangledheart wrote:
Not that I'm arguing the point, but would it not be a viable suggestion to say that perhaps ASD prevents a person who feels this way from seeing the forest for the trees? Perhaps the Aspie might not have a "concrete" reference for why flirting/cheating has any emotional weight aka "why does it matter" type of thing.


It could be, but usually after having the implications of flirting with someone else while in a relationship explained to them, an aspie acting in such a manner would cease and desist...



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28 Jan 2009, 3:57 pm

I've noticed that NT's who are dating or married to Aspies, are quick to blame all their relationship problems on AS. Guess it's easier to make generalizations about us than taking responsibility.



mangledheart
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28 Jan 2009, 4:44 pm

Cyberman wrote:
I've noticed that NT's who are dating or married to Aspies, are quick to blame all their relationship problems on AS. Guess it's easier to make generalizations about us than taking responsibility.


You aren't required to troll simply because you're bitter about your condition. Either provide something coherent and useful or stew in your self-loathing juices elsewhere. :-)



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28 Jan 2009, 4:56 pm

OK then, my advice to you is this: if you feel that he's using/abusing you, then dump him and move on. But just because he happens to have AS doesn't mean we're all jerks like him.



mangledheart
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28 Jan 2009, 5:00 pm

Cyberman wrote:
OK then, my advice to you is this: if you feel that he's using/abusing you, then dump him and move on. But just because he happens to have AS doesn't mean we're all like that.


I'm not making any assumptions about Aspies in general. I've been pretty particular about my wording here, so please don't think that I look upon people with a condition (ANY condition) with disdain. I'm just trying to get some perspective from people who are either in similar situations (which I did, thankfully) or are Aspies themselves and are educated about their own condition (which I did, as well).

Not every NT is out to get you.

And ADHD is considered neurodiverse as well, not that I'm trying to say I understand what it's like to be an Aspie.