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Learning2Survive
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23 Feb 2009, 10:41 pm

i freak ppl out cuz i don't get how my words sound and get interpreted by other people.

irikarah
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24 Feb 2009, 2:13 pm

arkityp wrote:

could also have to do with my appearance, which would be hilarious if it was.

I've been told that I look mean or intimidating. I guess part of that is because I shave my head, but I also tend to walk around with a scowl (light sensitive, so I scrunch my face a lot), and have what's been described as a "determined" looking walk. Maybe it's an issue of body language, where people just assume that you're disinterested or unfriendly based on how you hold yourself.

0_equals_true
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24 Feb 2009, 2:25 pm

arkityp wrote:

:lol: wow this trainwrecked quickly...

Wow you really proved your point there... :lol:

We are giving you constructive criticism, you asked for it.

oli234
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24 Feb 2009, 2:41 pm

Everybody is insecure to some degree, some people are just much better at hiding it. Birth is a trauma that nobody fully recovers from. Even sociopaths have insecurities if you dig deep enough

But if I'm interpreting all of this correctly the op is after someone who is reasonably sure of themselves without it turning into arrogance or being an a**hole. Well that's basically true of everyone I suppose. But from my experience with girls the perfect middle ground doesn't really exist, all the girls I've got to know very well have either been a little arrogant or a little insecure. So my advice would be to find the one that bothers you the least and then find someone who only suffers from one of those problems mildly.

Personally I've decided I prefer the insecure girls, just not ones that are totally bereft of any type of confidence. Middleish ground, but if you go seeking perfection you're gonna end up lonely

arkityp
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24 Feb 2009, 3:25 pm

oli234 wrote:

if you go seeking perfection you're gonna end up lonely

insightful, thank you. this is the type of suggestion that i am looking for.

Learning2Survive
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24 Feb 2009, 5:18 pm

"if you go seeking perfection you're gonna end up lonely"

in a relationship especially marriage you need to make compromises and do stuff to appease your significant other. women get really excited about going out to Trivia Night, The Restaurant, and The Party. some men like their partner to cook for them and clean. so why not go the extra mile and do things to make each other happy?

P.S. this has to be voluntary which means forcing the partner to do stuff will backfire on you

Dee_
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Joined: 4 Jul 2007
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Location: Ft. Worth, TX

25 Feb 2009, 1:24 am

If you lived closer to where I am at, I would be very interested in a date with you.

arkityp wrote:

1. i'm a 27 yr old single female with AS. i've been single for over a year, but that's nothing new... i've gone decades without dating anyone.

2. i've done some really awesome things with my life so far (ON MY OWN), and accumulated a lot of respect in certain areas (music, photography, design). i'm not saying i'm famous, but i'm not unknown either.

3. people tell me i'm very attractive.

4. some men can't control themselves, and i've got myself into bad situations because of this, and also because i fail to read "the signs". so, there are some issues of trust there.

5. i seem to only attract a**holes, or insecure boys. there is no middle ground. i'm never pursued by someone who has the same interests as me or feels equally as "successful" with what they have to offer.

6. people tell me i am extremely intimidating, and this is why i have problems dating (aside from AS obstacles).

7. i'm really picky (aren't we all), but when i find something i want, i go after it. in regards to dating, this usually is one-sided.

8. i'm tired of being single, but i am not going to dumb myself down for anyone, or put a paper bag over my head (i have considered this on more than one occasion).

9. i'm tired of sitting at home every night playing video games by myself.

any suggestions?

Learning2Survive
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25 Feb 2009, 9:41 am

Dee_ wrote:

If you lived closer to where I am at, I would be very interested in a date with you.

arkityp wrote:

dating people you meet online is a recipe for disaster.

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