Do Aspies have a chance at a meaningful relationship?

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I think I know how you feel Comkeen, I was 20 years old before I found someone, and had never had a relationship before, or anything close, and all my efforts failed miserably. I really hope things work out for you. For me, it was kind of a combination of both running into someone and seeking them out. I met someone right here on the forums at WP. I could tell just by his messages that we had a lot of things in common. One day I saw a message of his that intrigued me because he was talking about something I'd been through and didn't think many others had been through, and I decided it was the perfect opportunity to get to know him better, so I sent him a PM asking him about it, and things really took off from there. It can definately be hard for us, but I don't think that AS is at all incompatible with marriage and love and I really wish books and websites would not say that, because it can really psych people out and depress them like it has you. They should offer practical advice or something like that.

Stuff like that used to happen to me too, people can be so mean I really hope you find someone who deserves you and sees you for the real you. Oh man, I can remember when I thought it was absolutely hopeless too, I just kept telling myself what a piece of crap I was, but then when I least expected it I found someone who saw me for me and was so kind and respectful to me. I think you will too.

THE HELL I WILL, i have to be so ugly. because people would drive by sometimes when im out and yell out their window at me... vulgar things.

I don't think so. I'm convinced that there is someone for everyone. Just look at some of the total losers that are paired up.



I was actively seeking a partner in general (and starting to consider small farm animals ) when my wife walked into my life. Literally. I was hanging out in the nursery at church and she walked in and we started talking and haven't stopped for 19years.
Ok, actually that was our second meeting, and I'm glad I didn't realize it was the same girl. The first meeting was at the church youth group pizza party. I was actually trying to get with another girl (who was too stuck up to notice me) and when she asked me something I gave her some kind of smart answer and blew her off. It just goes to show you that like Serissa said you just have to be prepared to make a fool of yourself.

Well i wont, oh and im bipolar
yeah

Not if you keep trying. Perhaps you just need more practice, or a few lessons.



They found me.

I think the most important characteristics a person with Asperger's who is active on this site has are.
1) Understanding they have unique needs that need to be addressed for any relationship to be a success.
2) Recognizing that they bring unique assets to the right relationship
3) The willingness to face difficulties head on, and grow from the experience.

Statistically, relationships (especially marriage) are not done well by the majority whether NT or Aspie.

Aspies who have gone through many challanges on the road to accepting themselves are, I think, in a better place to help significant others through the difficult moments of relationships.

ever since i could remember ive not had the willingness. i dont know why but ive always been hated. i remember in 1st grade a teacher called me retarted and put me in a closet and i had to stay there for every time i had her, and she said i needed riddelin.... people tell me im ugly all the time i hate it.

not saying that i would do this.. because im not violent.. (lucky for the people who cause it)

but.. alot of the people who go on killings at school were picked on for almost no reason, or very stupid ones. so they braught it on themself. people here are lucky cause im not violent as them

i remember my step father once said "i feel sorry for anyone who ever loves you, or any kids you may have wether they be by rape or accident"

and my mom once said i dont deserve friends...

... i really dont understand why people hate me so

Whoa.....

As a teacher of kids with AS and other neuro disorders why doesn't the abusive s**t that some parents and educators say surprise me? I'm so thankful that I have great parents who are always supportive. My mom even took what she discovered working with me and helped found what is today the largest non-profit in my home town of Santa Clarita for children with disabilities and their families.

I've come close. One time I came real close, but the girl had issues that couldn't be resolved. I want to solve them, but it is hard.

Anyway, In any relationship, I'd need to have seprate fininaces. I'm not buying my wife or GF a car, like my dad does or pay more than half of the bills. You want a nice car?! Pay for it. I'm against a stay at home mom who just raises the kids and that's it. I've seen too many of those families have problems with relationships and money.

I am an Nt my husband Aspergic we have been marred 25 years, so I would say we have a successful relatinship, I may not get all the physical attention I want when around others, but he more then makes up for it when we are alone.

I honestly believe that Aspergic people have the same capacity to feel and love, but they need a partner and friends that can see this, I only have to look in my daughters and my son's eyes to see this, She will still give me a hug sometimes, and has feelings of compassion when I am sick.

An aspergic person has the same ability as an NT but just has a harder time showing it. So a successful relationship would depend on who they fall in love with.

i would have to say. NO, i dont think my chances are good, or ever have been. The times i ever got close, or someone showed any interest, somehow always got screwed up. So, im very doubtful, that anything resembling a relationship will ever happen.

I know that the possibility is there for me, but wouldn't be too disappointed if I had to spend my life without the experience of a 'meaningful relationship'.

I can't say that I actually came close to it. I've had a few flings in my teens, but that was pretty insignificant. Just for fun.

Come to think of it, I've never actually craved for it either. Until my late teens this was due my apparent oddness, which I was too afraid to share with anyone. Now I'm more careful than afraid and willing to share my live with someone else if I can sense that I can have a good time with that person for an extended period of time. But other goals just rank higher on my list, I'm not particular on the look-out for 'wife-material'.

However, should that lovely dame come my way (and I'm sharp enough to actually spot her) I'll try to make the best of it.

i was going to ask a girl out but then she ran away from me before i could get the words out and im just not going to ask... she doesnt like me in any way anyway, no one does

wow. I feel alot of compassion for what people have said here.

I still believe that two people caring for each other is a pretty ideal way of going through life.
Besides the magic connection that people can make, the secret seems to
be compassion and communication.... and understanding how each other's minds work.

For me, John Lennon had it right ... All You Need is Love.