13 Mar 2009, 5:11 am
SamanthaBlake wrote:
I am thrilled that for once someone has actually responded to something I have written online.
generally when i propose a cause of distress or a concern that is ''deep'' people tend to shy away....
generally when i propose a cause of distress or a concern that is ''deep'' people tend to shy away....
That will not happen here.
I find that most NT people seem to prefer lightweight conversation only, and it's very depressing when you like to discuss and analyze issues, but the response is usually the other person either looking at you in a peculiar way and trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible, or laughing and dismissing the idea with a comment such as, "You think too much!" Quote:
dougn thank you for revealing that people who are asexual seek romantic relationships i was not aware of this....but how can you define a romantic relationship without desire .....i am not comprehending this concept and would like to know more.
If I may answer here, on my part, I perceive romantic attraction and sexual attraction as completely different. For people who are sexual, they're intertwined, but to me, as someone who identifies as asexual, they are two separate things. The former I experience, the latter I don't. Some people might then say, "But if you're not interested in having sex with the person, then what you feel towards them must just be a strong friendship." But it's not. Even with that absence of sexual urges, there is still a distinct difference to me between loving someone as a friend, and loving/being attracted to them romantically.
Quote:
i think some of you are having predicaments dealing with the notion of sex but are willing to experince it......i am speaking about someone who is almost entiely deviod of this like me......sexual issues and asexuality must be different?
Yes, I would say they are - it would be far from impossible for someone to have sexual feelings but still have issues with the idea of actual sex. On my part, I think it's a combination of the two. There are psychological issues that would make having sex very, very difficult, but on the other hand, I clearly do have, hormonally, an incredibly low to absent sex drive that doesn't give me any urge for it in the first place.
If I was involved with somebody who considered sex very, very important, and couldn't continue with the relationship unless there were some kind of sexual activity, then there are perhaps ways in which it could be made easier for me to deal with and I would be able to go through with it without being actively traumatized. But it doesn't change the fact that I still wouldn't want it; that I personally wouldn't be able to see what it really added to our relationship.
The true definition of 'asexual', I think, is 'not sexually attracted to others'. Even if you were an asexual who had a physical sex drive, but saw it as just an annoying 'itch to scratch' via masturbation and was not directly sexually aroused by other people nor had a wish to have sex with them, I think you would still count as asexual. [/quote]
13 Mar 2009, 3:00 pm
