Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Which Would You Rather Have?

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Which Would You Rather Have:
"A life of my own, without emotional entanglements of any kind." 4%  4%  [ 2 ]
"A life shared only occassionally with trusted friends of similar outlook." 16%  16%  [ 8 ]
"A life shared with others as needed to make me feel 'human,' but only on my terms." 14%  14%  [ 7 ]
"A life with only those compromises that are necessary to make living bearable." 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
"A life spend in the service of others, with a semblance of mutual support." 8%  8%  [ 4 ]
"A life spent in devotion to my family, with everything I do supporting their needs, wants, and desires." 12%  12%  [ 6 ]
"A life spent in devotion to only one person, with everything - even my own wants, needs, and desires - taking distant second place to theirs." 16%  16%  [ 8 ]
Other: "________________________________." 10%  10%  [ 5 ]
"Just show me the results." 18%  18%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 49

ImTheGuyThatDidThat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2008
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,170

20 Mar 2009, 4:54 pm

I have allready posted, but after thinking about it
a little more, this one has a nice ring to it:

""A life spent in devotion to only one person, with everything - even my
own wants, needs, and desires - taking distant second place to theirs""

Easily put, i like that, i like to be with someone i love and
put that persons needs over mine, it makes me happy.
For example, if i have the choice of buying myself something
i want or something someone i love wants, then i go for
what they want. Simply because it makes me more happy
to make them happy then to get me something for myself.
But, at the same its too much - i need time and space
for myself sometimes, i dont function well when its a
relationship where you sit on top of each other 24 hours
a day and if i dont function well then i cant take care of
that persons needs or desires at all, if i`m not standing
i cant help someone else with anything even if i want too.
One has to have their own things/life but also spend time
together. So i like the ring of this option but combined with
a few custom twists to make it work.



LemonBubblez
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: Over here

21 Mar 2009, 1:37 am

I picked #1: "A life of my own, without emotional entanglements of any kind."

Until I get proof otherwise, I will continue to believe that emotional entanglements only cause pain.



makuranososhi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2008
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,805
Location: Banned by Alex

21 Mar 2009, 2:36 am

Fnord wrote:
I chose "A life spent in devotion to my family, with everything I do supporting their needs, wants, and desires."

This is the role that I believe a spouse and parent should take. Note the word "support." This does not mean that I become their slave, but rather that I provide for the essentials that sustain their lives and promote their growth.

And if this means that I work 80 to 100 hours a week to keep them clothed, housed, fed, and medicated, even if it means that I have no time for their emotional needs, then so be it. But it will be my choice to do so, not theirs.

I am not their possession - a pet on a leash that perfoms on command - I am an individual, with my own feelings, desires, and needs. And if they won't meet mine, then they should not expect me to meet theirs.

My ex never understood this.


*nod* There is a fine line between dedication and self-destruction. Well said... I voted as you did; loving as one desires to be loved.


M.


_________________
My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.

For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!


CerebralDreamer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 516

21 Mar 2009, 4:06 am

I'm living "A life shared with others as needed to make me feel 'human,' but only on my terms." If I don't find someone I can trust, that's the life I'll keep.

If there is someone I can trust, then possibly "A life spent in devotion to only one person, with everything - even my own wants, needs, and desires - taking distant second place to theirs."

I'm still a bit fearful about having my trust abused. For now, I'm going with only what I need to feel human. I'm apprehensive about devoting myself to anyone or anything right now, because I cannot let myself get trampled on like I have before.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,951
Location:      

21 Mar 2009, 2:21 pm

ImTheGuyThatDidThat wrote:
I voted "show me the results", non of the options looks
like something i would do, maybe some things here and
some things there if i pick from the options but non of them
alone - and i`m not sure what i`m supposed to write under
"other"

"Other" is the category for any situation that you might think of that is not listed in the original poll. An example of "Other" might be "I would rather live in a world where I manipulate everyone else's activities from behind the scenes without them ever finding out, " or "If I could live alone on a tropical island and have no contact with the rest of humanity for the rest of my life, I would live and die happy," or some other such statement.

No worries, mate. You done good!


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.