22 Apr 2009, 7:15 pm
23 Apr 2009, 3:04 pm
msinglynx wrote:
I always overthink, I cant help it. I have to analize everything people say cuz I suck at reading thier body language, so I try to remember how they move & act & ask someone about it later.
Find the simple answer, in your boyfriends case a lot of it will end up in, does he feels secure?
Quote:
NO he goes hiking a lot & he's lives in a little town in the country, everyone hikes here, also it's a desert lol. what I meant was, he invited me to the area around his town of Socorro, to the mountains there, which he says are better than the ones around albuquerque where I live, but there are many nice places to hike here, so I found it odd/unnecesary that he would want to take me so far unless he also thought to take me by his house?
I have no idea how the landscape around you is so I can't make any guesses why he would have an other opinion for that reason. And what's your definition of "hiking"? Sleeping outside or just walk around for a day?
Quote:
yes but also presuming I'd be around to see it? I think?
If he's an NT he might not have had any other thoughts other than if you like long hair or not.
And it might have included an unsaid "so we'll see then."
Trying to analyze things like that is often useless and a waste of energy.
Quote:
woah
What? Never thought of that one?
Quote:
urg, then I am making him feel very insecure by always having someone to hang out with when he isnt around? I kinda wondered if he would be upset cuz a guy friend gave me an awesome radio & a new 20" TV but I'm used to people speaking up if they are bothered and he never says anything so I assume he's not?
If that person is in your immediate area, yes. Otherwise, probably not so much.
That kind of gifts from a friend would raise an eyebrow or three on any boyfriend.
He might not say anything, and I have no great ideas on how to make him start, I can't even make myself do it so...
You might learn to read his opinion on his eyes, atleast that's what's giving me away.
Quote:
But it hurts! Cuz I trust a lot & I've had lots of bad things happen to me but I'd still rather be trusting & loving and showing my affection, and it scares me that maybe I will put all my trust in and he wont put any and will dump me for being annoying and then I will be really sad & that thought is making me really anxious all the time I'm not with him right now!
Well, the only thing I can give you here is a very carefull advice, everyone wants to tell their story to someone. I guess you don't know a great deal about his past 'couse I have a very hard time beliving he's talking about it a lot at all. If you can get him to talk about the bad parts of his past he'll really prove he's trusting you, and when/if he does, show sympthy 'couse that's what he needs at that time. And for Gods sake, don't tell anyone what he told you, atleast not without his permission. If you do you're sevearly risking losing his trust for ever and he might never trust anyone about it again.
Ohh... and he might not tell you the worst parts, so if you find his past to be surprisingly "light" he might not have told you everything he knows, or simply has surpressed those parts.
Quote:
we do hold hands even tho it bothers me, he even has a special way to hold my hands so my fingers dont get all squashed. And he used to not let me touch his belly cuz it was soft & smooshy & now he's on a diet & working out & now he lets me touch it. What I meant (was trying to not be tacky) is that he wont let me touch his penis, or even his thigh near it, he grabs my hand & puts it on his chest & smiles about it, all "sorry" but he doesnt always do that, sometimes, like when he sleeps over he'll let me touch him for a little bit. So I dont get why sometimes yes and sometimes no & he wont/cant explain why so I end up all confused and upset.
If he does it like that he means no hard feelings, if he was playing with you he would encourage you to touch him and then pull you away and repeat it. He simply don't feel comfortable at the moment. It might not be becouse of you but something he thinks about.
Quote:
erg I feel funny now
Quote:
I wanted him to understand what I go thru a little more.
Was that what you told him?
Quote:
I am very not-obvious & kind of feel like I have to hide that I'm freaking out, etc in front of him, like the other day he took me to a restaurant & I was so upset I couldnt even order for myself cuz it was so busy (patterns) and my eyes were all confused & I didnt even dare to go to the bathroom cuz I was scared I'd get lost or trip or something, & I couldnt explain that to him & I didnt want to be an ungrateful bitch-type by demanding he tell me where we are going and for how long & letting me "case out the joint" before I go in, cuz I have done that before & it pisses people off and they get tired of me & I dont want him to get tired of me.
As you said, that's how you feel, talk to him about it.
Tell him that when things like that happens, that he should offer himself (you are obviously not thinking straight in those situations) to take you outside for a moment so you can regain you focus. Then you can go back in again when you feel allright.
Or just tell him to tell you where you're going atleast a few minuts before you're there.
hermanChess wrote:
I would say this. You are hanging in two groups, your friends(roomamates etc), and that guy. Your friend group and him didnt click, so your friend group said it was either him or them. So appreciate more your friends than him, so feel the urge to reject him even so avoid losing your other friends.
How the hell did that make any sense at all?
Quote:
Thank you very much, you've given me a new perspective on some things.
Anytime.
23 Apr 2009, 3:09 pm
23 Apr 2009, 4:54 pm
23 Apr 2009, 5:05 pm
