Foreign Girls

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I've heard that etymology, but I've also heard that it just means "brown person". Still, I haven't heard it used with a negative connotation. Oye como va...

First off, DO NOT go to a foreign country just for its women - that attitude right there is one of the best possible recipes for disappointment.

Second, just treat people how you would want to be treated. That's common sense - race has absolutely nothing to do with it.
And if the person in question turns out to be a racist, then he/she is nothing more than a worthless piece of shi* who isn't worth your time at all.

Third - if you actually care about how people perceive you, then you need to stop doing exactly that.
You do not owe the vast majority of people anything, and their opinions regarding you are of no importance whatsoever. The only exceptions to this would be a teacher/professor or a boss, because they're the ones who give you a grade or a paycheck.


What she said.

Last edited by EnigmaticPhilosophy on 02 May 2009, 4:15 am, edited 2 times in total.

It literally means (small) mule. A mule is infertile, a product of mating a male donkey and a female horse. Or it also refers to any mating of different species that result in infertile offspring.

Eggplants come in many colours, shapes, and sizes and can be hybridised.

There seems to be a lot of this type of mentality on these boards, the fetishizing of foreign cultures and the products of those cultures. Superimposing your needs on another culture because it is foreign, and thus superior because it is unknown, will only result in disappointment, not to mention a rude awakening when the illusion is dispelled. Oh, and all Mediterranean women do not look like Penelope Cruz, FYI People need to learn to match their expectations with their attributes.

Please, I'm a lot older than you and I am trying to protect you from what I've been through.
It is FAR better and safer to keep to yourself when you go abroad. What would you do if you ended up getting messed about by the Cosa Nostra because you got a little too cozy with some Goomba's daughter. Some girls go with a man of color to hurt their white fathers because of various reasons some serious, some not. I've been used by white people for various reasons.
I'm biracial and found the most happiness with other mixed people even those that were not black/white. MANY are aspie! You wouldn't believe it...that's what drove their parents to leave their race in the first place...thus their kids are aspie too. A lot of people have fetishes for a certain look but that doesn't mean a person with "that look" will love you back. They just might end up getting you maimed or killed. You'd just be another feather in their cap...just another potatoe chip from a great big bag of 'em. I'm keepin you in my prayers because you're scaring me to death. Years ago, a friend (an aspie), spent a fortune on a Mediterranean cruise (money she borrowed from a bank!) because she wanted to "marry a Spanish bull-fighter". How ridiculous huh? She was serious as a heart attack! She came back saying, "Oh yeah...it was nice." That's it?! That's was years ago and she's still paying back the loan. Then she had a hot nut for Native American guys. She went to some big pow-wow in another state (more money spent) but surprisingly hooked up and he cleaned her bank account out. He's gone, never to be seen again. Probably has a wife and kids now or even had them when he was with her.
His own sister "tried" to tell her she was better off staying away from him but my friend thought
she said this out of predjudice! See what happens when a fetish drives your decisions! You can't even listen to reason! I really, really hope you won't have to learn the hard way. Losing a bit of cash isn't as bad as getting hurt though. But when you are over it, you'll miss that cash. You'll have less to spend on someone that "truly" loves you. Just like my life before age 30. I know. I pretty much was "paying" people to love me. Every day I look at my husband and kids and think, "How much more I would've had to give you all if I wasn't such a "sucka"." But they still love me.

In general I have a problem with most ethnic-fixations so I make a difference between a mental dream partner, I know exactly how mine would look and behave, and reality. I don't obsess with one race.

I personally find italians and southern europeans in general a bit boring. Many try living up to some imagined stereotype and the women are dry, stiff and prejudiced as well as extremely categorical when it comes to their view on femininity/masculinity. Feels a little too backwaterish for my taste. I think southern europeans are very non flexible and stiff, in general. To me, making big gestures and shouting when you speak isn't the same thing as being cool. Deep down many southern europeans, even those who are 160cm tall and suffer from early hair loss, have some romanticized view of mediterraneans as "more beautiful" and "stylish" but reality, if you ever went to Italy or Spain, will prove this is NOT true. It's almost as if they look down on northern europeans while at the same time having some sort of inferiority complex towards them. Italy have some of the best artisans and craftsmen in the world, as well as maybe the best textile industry, but this doesn't make the people gorgeous. Even more pathetic is that other southern europeans think that because Italy has a lot of skilled craftsmen, it must mean that people in Madrid or Athens are naturally "stylish" as well. It's this BS stereotype that northern europeans and americans build their fetish for southern europeans on. It's nothing but a big lie.

This may sound racist but it's my oppinion. The most stiff people in Europe who are the most full of themselves and seriously believe they are demi-gods when most are just carbon copy stereotypes of 80's beach-gigolos, are the greeks. They are a people who seriously believe it makes you "cool" to wear Emporio Armani t-shirts with ugly logos and oversized Roberto Cavalli sunglasses along with euro-trashy bootcut jeans. This is "godlike" to them. I have yet to meet a greek who is as an individual, cool and relaxed like a dutch or a brit.

The coolest people I met in Europe were british, french and dutch. The accents, the cultures, the range of individual variation is the greatest there even if those countries also have their share of pathetic ethno-fetishists who just behave as doormats for some other culture.
A slight fetish is okay, in my oppinion, but people who lose all grip on reality and behave as some sort of slave for another culture, which they glorify into infinity, are a bit pathetic I think.

Last edited by Zoonic on 02 May 2009, 10:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

You all seem to make very good points. I used to be really obsessed with Assyrian girls. Those are middle eastern Northern Iraqis that are Christian. Those girls are beautiful. They look like a mixture or the mediterranean girls and middle eastern girls. The only problem is is that they are egotistic and think their little race is better than everyone else. although these girls are christian Iraqis. They still don't date out of their race (as far as i know) and if they do their parents dont know.
I was obsessed with these girls and they knew it too. They treated me like [], but they talked to the other black guys who they though were coool.
I REMEMBER SENDING THIS ONE ASSYRIAN GIRL A REQUEST ON MYSPACE LIKE 49 TIMES AND SHE DENIED ME. she knew me too. those girls I must say are the flakiest of the flakiest. One of them told me that her mom goes around the house saying [] all the time, but doesnt know what it mean. she just doesnt like the culture. how stupid hah? You'll find most assyrians in Detroit, Chicago, California, Australia and Iraq. the people of mesopotamia, it was also called assyria. the guys are very cool though, although they also have that superior race thing.
I would give up who i was in some kind of a "a african american" just to be obsessed with these girls. (if you know where im getting at). the the obsession grew from assyrians to all middle eastern girls, then to indian girls, to eastern eropan girls like albanians, and to jewish israelis. then one day I said to myself. [] those girls. first of all those people dont give a crap about me anyways and second of all i shouldnt obsess myself with one type of women.
I'm sorry if offend anyone on here who are of those ethnicities. I am not a racist and I despise racists. If you think I'm a racist then be my guest. So one day i stopped and those feelings went away of obsession. i was too picky about my women. and any guy thats too picky ends up in heartbreak.

I'm also ot going to become obsessed with mediterranean women either because I've seen the effects of that kind of stuff.
Not that it matters but people began to think you are weird and they use what they know to use against you (me).
I know people suck, people are sad, but thats the way the world is.

Also being a little racist and prejudice can be safe because we dont know people or their intentions....but dont take it too far.

If a man with dressed like a robber was by an ATM the open minded thing to say would be "You dont know if he is a burgler so lets take our chances going to the ATM"....no that's stupid. I'd be as prejudice and closed minded as I could be and drive off.

The same thing when dealing with other culture you need to think to yourself whether they will treat you right or not.
and that girl who's mother says []. she's a down right racist...i'm sorry

so don't worry guys I'll be careful, go on the trip just for the fun of it, and wont focus all my time or any of my time on the girls there. and I wont let the mediterranean thing become an obsession.

there's a such thing as being too liberal and too conservative if you know what i mean

Thank you for saying it better than I ever could.
To be honest, the whole "going to a foreign country to find the man/woman of my dreams" smells of imperialism and assumed privilege. Read Edward Said, read Sheridan Prasso, read anything you can on this topic, before your bubble gets unpleasantly popped abroad and you find yourself feeling foolish. Putting an entire culture's female population on a pedestal in your eyes just means they'll fall a hell of a lot farther when they do fall.

I've traveled. I've dated. I'm married.

And I think you're approaching this whole thing from the wrong angle.

In many ways, you don't find good relationships, they find you. They happen when you are living your life, being true to yourself, and being content with yourself as a whole and complete person.

I did learn something, of course, from each and every failed dating venture. Some were fun but not meant to be; others were tortuous and not meant to be. But they shared the simple, "not meant to be."

One of the things you have to do is stop sweeping any group of women with a broad brush. When you say that "Assyrian women are stuck up," you assign a trait you believe is appropriate for a few and apply it to the whole, based on their race. That is racism.

When you admire one group of women simply because of their ethnicity, you are doing the same thing, just in another fashion. That is also racism.

Women, world over, all individuals. If you cannot see them as such, you are not ready to have a healthy relationship with any of them.

When our relationships fail, it is usually because of us. Something in us. I'm NOT talking about not being good looking enough or smart enough or funny enough or rich enough. I'm talking about something that subconsciously holds us back. That makes us interested in the wrong people, or otherwise act inappropriately, because doing so actually prevents you from having a real relationship. And why might one do that? Somehow make huge mistakes on purpose, despite an outer desire to be with someone? Because they aren't ready. You may have bridges to build or roads to cross or adventures to finish first. You may need to finish becoming who you are. And some people realize that they actually always preferred being on their own, but convinced themselves they wanted something else.

It's true for both men and women. I've got the stories.

Look to yourself and your life's journey. Don't blame the women who weren't meant to be with you, and don't form assumptions about whole groups from the very limited personal experiences you - or anyone - has been able to have. When you learn those things you will be a step closer to finding what you are looking for.

My second girlfriend was Korean.

Right on.