Dating advice please.

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Well I'd like to talk online for a couple of emails/ messages, then on the phone, then hopefully meet if it goes good.

The guy who captivates a woman on the date from beginning to end.

He "tells them about themselves", telling them flattering things he's noticed about them - "I've noticed you're a very deep, artistic lady" "I've noticed you're very spiritual" "I've noticed you're very kind and caring".

Then he asks them deeper questions, "has this affected you in your life, have people taken advantage". It's showing interest - but not showing interest in the superficial "what are your hobbies, what is your job" way that small talk failures do. Showing a deep interest in their inner world and how they want to be seen.

Or, his "noticing" is done in a light hearted way "he he, I've noticed you're a lot of fun, you're crazy, I don't think i could handle you!" "you're really wild, you're too wild for me!"

Both these approaches cause the woman to ask "why, why do you say that, what is it about me that makes you think that?" Then he can "tell them more about themselves".."well, its because you said (blah blah), that shows you are that type of person, it's because you do "such and such", that tells me your psychological type".

Everyone is fascinated to hear about themselves, you are your own favourite subject, so the women are captivated to hear this guy who "sees into their soul", "knows you better than you know yourself", and they want to hear his observations about them. They want to know what he can teach them about themselves.

bascially talk about her - dont talk about "subjects" like hobbies or tv shows unless you know for sure you both like them, or youll bore her away. Do those funny little fake psychological tests that "tell a woman about herself" and make it look as though "your the one who really understands her" - google "pua routines" for these.

talk about her, pay her compliments or laugh together about little quirks you noticed. Thats what they tell me. Prehaps a lecture on your favourite Star Trek episodes or small talk about the weather would be more honest though.

Here is what I've noticed:

Every dating sin in the book is forgiven when you are with the "right" person.

Every tiny stumble glares when you are with the "wrong" person.

Perception changes entirely when you simply feel good about being with the person you are with. There is no magic formula for creating that; it either happens, or it doesn't happen.

My first date with my husband was one of the most ackward I've ever had. And, yet, through out it all, I felt connected to him, and had this sense that something better was around the corner for us. And so it was.

So you just keep going up to bat and hoping that when it feels right to you, it will feel right to her, and things will take their natural course from there. BE YOURSELF, because you will never succeed in faking it 24/7, so there is no point in getting her to fall in love with an act.

All that said, there may be bad habits you've picked up over the years that are turn-off's, and that are better left out of the equation. Either dumb lines, invading personal space, using an annoying fragrance, eating funny, and so on. Some of these things will divert your date's focus and keep her from seeing the real you. You may want an honest look for some of that.

But after that ... it will happen if it's meant to be.

That simple.

And that insanely frustratingly difficult.

oops. repeating myself. unintentionally.

i recommend you not look for hot women, but just look for all women to be your friend. what are you looking to get out of dating? rather than dating sites, try forums and websites where people go for help. be honest with them from up front and say you have asperger's and that you'd like to talk to her if she has a few minutes. look for all kinds of women even if they have some health problems or may not look super pretty on their picture. if you get to know them and they want to meet you in real life, who knows, you might like each other.