AS Boyfriend and Girlfriend Reconaissance Field Manual

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in short, i for one don't know why i want to be in a relationship. sex is a plus, in that i'm a virgin sex seems like a very fun thing with the right people.
as for "empty" & "tragic" i'm not sure either.. depends on your perspective.. i would say my life is not full, but not empty.. & i would say my life is not great, not too good at all but not tragic (although i don't really understand tragedy)
i think also that i don't need someone to "bring happiness" as such, i seem to be able to keep myself "happy" but being lonely makes me unhappy.

Biological needs.

And no , I don't mean sex only...

let's change topis to how to meet people

Let's start by saying that you CANNOT come up to a random person on the street or anywhere in public and just randomly engage them in convsersation. With 90% of people it won't work because it is a social no-no. so how do i start talking to people? where? how? i need a protocol and a script to follow.

Well, in some situations, it is necessary to talk to other people. There are several church and volunteer groups out there. Approaching people and talking to them won't be as restrictive, although you have less control over who you meet, there are some pretty attractive women in the right groups.

So, I go for a long time without even seeing anyone that catches my eye, weeks, months, you name it. Wouldn't you know it that it happens on Mother's Day? Me, my brother and his wife took our mom and his wife's parents out to a brunch at some nice restaurant. Shortly before we leave, another family comes over to a table near ours and one of them was a pretty cute woman who looked to be in her mid 20s with no ring on the finger. This is the kind of luck I get. These are the only times I see women who I find somewhat attractive. What am I supposed to do? Go and interrupt their family brunch to try to get her phone number? These are the only times I see women who catch my eye, in situations that it is impossible to make some sort if interesting/relevant conversation with. Grrr.

This is another vote for dance lessons. I wish I had time to fit it in to my current schedule.

Most of the last decade has been through work; clients, customers, co-workers or contacts with other companies. Rarely has it been when there was any sort of active business relationship, but it provided a framework for meeting people that made it easier for me to get to know them and vice versa.


M.

Sex is a good reason for a relationship as it can guarantee a regular supply. Sex is important for many because of how enjoyable it is and I am sure there are chemical reasons too (release of endorphins and so on). Also relationships challenge you in many ways to be a better person as it teaches people how to compromise, communicate better and get used to difference (talking in general here, for everybody not just people with AS). That is my experience anyway. I think in relationships there are more lows than being on one's own (after a big fight or something like that) but this is made up for (in a good relationship at least) by the highs, when compared to being on one's own. There have been studies done where it shows that people are generally happier when they are in a relationship than on their own. Probably evoluntionary reasons behind this. Note that there are exceptions to these comments but I am talking in general.

Ok. Back to the topic. To meet people a good idea is to join clubs or go along to things where there will be members of the gender that you are interested in. I work in IT so there are mostly guys at my work and many complain they do not meet women. I tell them they are not going to meet women at work so they should go along to things were there will be women. Also if you have friends with single friends get them to introduce you to people they think you might suit. Also sometimes people you might dismiss as someone interesting straight away might deserve a second chance as you might end up being interested in them.

If you're happy without an external source to validate it, that's the root source of narcissism and megalomania...

This is the stupidest post i have read on this forum. Well done. Even a bunch of synonyms couldnt save it.

i had nothing to do with it

How is that stupid? Narcissism is the "trait of excessive self-love, based on self-image or ego." If you love yourself more than you should, you're a narcissist, pure and simple...

Ok, ToS - some questions. Is self-love by itself narcissism? Who decides what level of self love is appropriate for another person? How can someone find happiness or stability in a relationship when they cannot find those things within themselves? Your definition of narcissism baffles me greatly.


M.

Good tips. I must use them.

Self-love in and of itself is not narcissism. But if I love myself and there's no validation behind that, I risk seeing myself as better than I should be...

basically, if I were to love myself, this would happen: