09 May 2009, 5:30 pm
09 May 2009, 5:46 pm
09 May 2009, 6:44 pm
Fudo wrote:
Orbyss wrote:
Yeah, well...
This girl that I know, I met her at a Minute Man show. She used to work for a literary journal? But she's really into hip hop. She kinda, like, brushed me off. I think she likes movies too much.
But seriously, those (first post mentioned) are qualities I'd give a chance. But there has to be more to the story, and a good amount of self knowledge, standards and good hygiene. It could be sweet, even. I like the idea of a guy who wants to share life, and even feels a bit lost without that. Independence and counterdependence aren't, in my personal opinion, always qualities to be revered. There's always a necessary amount that's needed, though, for anyone. Interdependence is a good thing, however.
Even if it's atrocious there's no hope for the hopeless.
This girl that I know, I met her at a Minute Man show. She used to work for a literary journal? But she's really into hip hop. She kinda, like, brushed me off. I think she likes movies too much.
But seriously, those (first post mentioned) are qualities I'd give a chance. But there has to be more to the story, and a good amount of self knowledge, standards and good hygiene. It could be sweet, even. I like the idea of a guy who wants to share life, and even feels a bit lost without that. Independence and counterdependence aren't, in my personal opinion, always qualities to be revered. There's always a necessary amount that's needed, though, for anyone. Interdependence is a good thing, however.
Even if it's atrocious there's no hope for the hopeless.
thanks Orbyss, i'm not sure i understand all that you said but here goes.. i think there's a lot to my story as it were, but i'm not really sure where to start, if there are specific questions i can (i think) explain quite well but to try & start listing interests would probably just be ramblings, like this..
i'm not sure the difference between independence counter&inter exactly, but i'm not very independent, if that helps explain, i can be in somethings..
Self-knowledge, standards & hygiene.. mostly yes to first 2 but honestly not currently a good level of hygiene, i imagine this is bad.. i would be more than willing to clean up for a lady, however it's kinda a long embarrassing story as to why i am this way..
i've probably said enough. thankyou for your honesty.
Well, let me try to clarify it from my own perspective, and without the inclusion of a song link and lyrics. To break it down, I like it if a guy has something of a dependency on the person he feels best with, for what is essentially a symbiotic relationship. Specifically, that, to me, means equal giving and receiving on both ends. The most attractive part of this is that there is a depth, something bonding and binding, and stability. An independent or counterdependent person isn't as likely to be as stable in a relationship, for obvious reasons. So, mild emotional dependency is not a bad thing at all.
But, if the dependency takes on other forms, that can be a very different story. For instance, being dependent on a partner for physical needs most of the time causes an imbalance. It can work, but it makes things more difficult all around if there isn't a balance being reached. Keep in mind that a partnership is ideally 50% on both sides as an average, but not necessarily at all specific times. So, if you're dependent on your partner for a lot of your actual life needs, this isn't likely to be a 50/50 deal, and the other half loses out.
Relationships are about giving more than they are receiving, but you have to know what you're giving, why you're giving it, and if it's healthy or responsible.
Hygiene is a must. It's an absolute must, especially if you have standards you want to reach. Bad hygiene is something that sends me running immediately, no questions asked, and I'd say any woman (or man) with any sense of self and a clear sense of self caring is going to do to the same. That leaves you with few options, except, perhaps, some unshowered insane woman you find wandering around in your local park asking for change. Seriously. I strongly suggest you rectify that immediately, because there are definitely no excuses I can think of. Even when I'm traveling homeless by car, I will find a way to wash myself daily, without fail. I never skimp. I would feel horribly about myself if I did, also because I just feel physically disgusting.
09 May 2009, 7:04 pm
Orbyss wrote:
Fudo wrote:
Orbyss wrote:
Yeah, well...
This girl that I know, I met her at a Minute Man show. She used to work for a literary journal? But she's really into hip hop. She kinda, like, brushed me off. I think she likes movies too much.
But seriously, those (first post mentioned) are qualities I'd give a chance. But there has to be more to the story, and a good amount of self knowledge, standards and good hygiene. It could be sweet, even. I like the idea of a guy who wants to share life, and even feels a bit lost without that. Independence and counterdependence aren't, in my personal opinion, always qualities to be revered. There's always a necessary amount that's needed, though, for anyone. Interdependence is a good thing, however.
Even if it's atrocious there's no hope for the hopeless.
This girl that I know, I met her at a Minute Man show. She used to work for a literary journal? But she's really into hip hop. She kinda, like, brushed me off. I think she likes movies too much.
But seriously, those (first post mentioned) are qualities I'd give a chance. But there has to be more to the story, and a good amount of self knowledge, standards and good hygiene. It could be sweet, even. I like the idea of a guy who wants to share life, and even feels a bit lost without that. Independence and counterdependence aren't, in my personal opinion, always qualities to be revered. There's always a necessary amount that's needed, though, for anyone. Interdependence is a good thing, however.
Even if it's atrocious there's no hope for the hopeless.
thanks Orbyss, i'm not sure i understand all that you said but here goes.. i think there's a lot to my story as it were, but i'm not really sure where to start, if there are specific questions i can (i think) explain quite well but to try & start listing interests would probably just be ramblings, like this..
i'm not sure the difference between independence counter&inter exactly, but i'm not very independent, if that helps explain, i can be in somethings..
Self-knowledge, standards & hygiene.. mostly yes to first 2 but honestly not currently a good level of hygiene, i imagine this is bad.. i would be more than willing to clean up for a lady, however it's kinda a long embarrassing story as to why i am this way..
i've probably said enough. thankyou for your honesty.
Well, let me try to clarify it from my own perspective, and without the inclusion of a song link and lyrics. To break it down, I like it if a guy has something of a dependency on the person he feels best with, for what is essentially a symbiotic relationship. Specifically, that, to me, means equal giving and receiving on both ends. The most attractive part of this is that there is a depth, something bonding and binding, and stability. An independent or counterdependent person isn't as likely to be as stable in a relationship, for obvious reasons. So, mild emotional dependency is not a bad thing at all.
But, if the dependency takes on other forms, that can be a very different story. For instance, being dependent on a partner for physical needs most of the time causes an imbalance. It can work, but it makes things more difficult all around if there isn't a balance being reached. Keep in mind that a partnership is ideally 50% on both sides as an average, but not necessarily at all specific times. So, if you're dependent on your partner for a lot of your actual life needs, this isn't likely to be a 50/50 deal, and the other half loses out.
Relationships are about giving more than they are receiving, but you have to know what you're giving, why you're giving it, and if it's healthy or responsible.
Hygiene is a must. It's an absolute must, especially if you have standards you want to reach. Bad hygiene is something that sends me running immediately, no questions asked, and I'd say any woman (or man) with any sense of self and a clear sense of self caring is going to do to the same. That leaves you with few options, except, perhaps, some unshowered insane woman you find wandering around in your local park asking for change. Seriously. I strongly suggest you rectify that immediately, because there are definitely no excuses I can think of. Even when I'm traveling homeless by car, I will find a way to wash myself daily, without fail. I never skimp. I would feel horribly about myself if I did, also because I just feel physically disgusting.
ok i think i understand.. & i'm fairly certain on the hygiene issue, i don't have a shower & the bath tub i have is "contaminated" to me, indeed the whole bathroom is because i don't know how to clean it as such..
don't know if that makes sense.
as for the give & take so to speak, i think i could give a lot & if i knew what to give, by talking to hypothetical partner, then it should be ok.. right?
i probably come across as needy & dependant etc as people have mentioned, but if nothing else i can learn..
i guess i'm in need of other things, i'm stuck in independent living not coping at all & the mess has long since overwhelmed me..
think i'm just rambling now..
09 May 2009, 7:21 pm
09 May 2009, 7:36 pm
10 May 2009, 11:07 am
so erm any thoughts today?
i got nothing.. 
well nothing but the blues.. :p but close enough.
11 May 2009, 12:36 am
11 May 2009, 3:29 pm
12 May 2009, 11:32 am
15 May 2009, 2:06 pm
19 May 2009, 11:34 am
one more for "luck"?
