Is it true that Seduction stuff doesn't work with aspies?

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seduction doesn't have to be false, if you genuinely like someone then compliments should/could maybe come naturally.. no?

I wouldn't call seduction "false"... it's a natural form of body language expression.

That's not seduction. That's being complimentary.

The thing that attracted me to my husband was the fact that he was bright, full of energy, completely sincere, and dedicated in everything he did to doing his best.

He obviously thought I was sexy, but he didn't talk about my appearance as though it were something I should be proud of. After all, I can't help having big breasts, so why compliment me on them? They're scarcely a moral characteristic, are they? And they'll head south one day anyway, so why put so much stock in them?

When we got onto the physical side of things, we knew each other intimately anyway, in terms of our characters, interests, etc. When someone I had already fallen in love with, and knew I could trust, expressed how much he liked my physique, I knew that he wasn't being insincere, that he wasn't just after me for sex. Also, that since he loved me for so much more than my body, he wouldn't dump me when my prize knockers turned into Spaniel's ears. (Sorry guys, that's what happens to D cups in nature.) So with my husband, I could take the compliment without being offended.

But when some bloke I don't know from Adam comes along and tells me I'm sexy (not that I am, I hasten to add) I don't trust him. I think he's just after my body, and it's an instant turn off.

So I go Spock on them... that usually makes them back off.

Seduction has never been the thing that is appealing to me at first. After I've established a relationship with someone, that's when the flirty stuff can come into play and that's when it works. But it depends on where my head is at. I've got to be in the mood for it or else I just get annoyed. I'm one of those "friends first/relationships second" type of people. If you have a friendship, then a relationship has the potential to develop from it if it's meant to be.

Why can't there be more people like you in the world? You would think that by the folks around here, such a quality would be common among women, but in reality it isn't...

I'm starting to wonder if it's an aspie thing, because I've always been the same way.

I've never gotten seduction either.

When i was younger i had my friends tell me "Why didnt you talk to that girl?" and "That girl is totally checking you out!" - i just could not notice!

It was probably one of the major reasons why i stopped going out to pubs/clubs before i was 25, there wasn't anything for me there and the probability that i would ever find a one night stand was next to zero, and getting drunk/watching people get drunk was only mildly entertaining.

I have noticed it in later years when i started to go out again, first time was when a girl walked up to me and shaked her rear near me and looked at me, but i wasnt interested.

As for that friends first thing, that is what i want a relationship to evolve from... Unfortunately, trying to get a girl that way has given me lots of girl-friends but no girlfriends

I got a bit of that in high school, but I thought they were just trying to f**k with my head... and then everyone thought I was gay after a while...

Yes its never worked for me, ive tried to chat up girls in the past and end up ranting on about computers or some other nonsense. Recently ive been chatting to an old ex-gf after a few nights she came clean there was more to it and was surprised i hadnt picked up on it, in the end it took 2 weeks for us to both put our cards on the table - in very simple terms i might add.

I would say alot of that Seduction hocus isnt worth the effort (particularly if your on the spectrum) in the end its more games and neither party deserves that. Most of the girls ive had relationships with have liked me because im unique - embrace this in a positive way and let that guide you.

It sounds like a lot of people think seduction is what happens just to get the girl/guy. What about after you're in the relationship? It's pretty darn good to keep things interesting. That's when I feel most comfortable showing that side of myself and when you a level of trust, the seduction side can be fun and flirty.

I agree with that, that's how I see seduction too.

Look up "social robots" on one of these message boards. Aspies are naturally pre-dispositioned to become one. Especially if they're already behind in proficiency with general social interaction & use the seduction material as a basis of how to act.

The material works, but just be careful.

What he told you was true... If you have AS, the seduction material stuff leads you in the WRONG direction, and misguides you. You have to move in the other direction, focus on making yourself attractive to women despite your AS. Then you will start to have some success.

Seduction doesn't work on me because i wouldn't realise it was being used. I can't see it, i rely on others to tell me someone is interested in me.

Seduction doesn't work very well on me. I can never tell what a woman is trying to do or communicate unless she does or says it directly.

However, I've been told that I'm very seductive when I talk to women, even though I don't realize it. At least, when I'm not in logic mode.

I never know if a girl is interest in me or not. So I don't know if I should make "my move" or not! Annoying!! !