I just asked a girl out for the first time in my life.

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Yea, there's nothing you can do about her response, you cant control her. I used to ask girls to dance a lot at parties and most of the said no, or LATER, which means no lol. Or I dont wanna dance to this song. But anyways, the more courage you have in asking, the more courage youll have when you ask the one who will say yes. You may get 100 nos, but you will get at least one yes. Oh yea, and hot girls always get a yes from a guy if she asks lol.

I think the reason I felt so good is because I was able to ask. My success was in overcoming my fear, not getting a date. Honestly I think the former was a much bigger victory than the latter would have been alone.

The second time I asked a guy out, it turned out he already had a girlfriend. And I had been *so convinced* he was attracted to me like I was to him. But then it turned out I was right, because he broke it off with his girlfriend so he could date me. Thus; my first bf.

I've always felt bad about that, and a little shocked he didn't break it off with her earlier before he started becoming attracted to other girls. I know that I would never be dating someone unless my feelings were for them only. If I stopped feeling strongly towards them, or developed feelings for someone else (although this only happens if you let it happen, and you need to stop having strong feelings for your partner to allow it to happen), then I would break it off with my bf straight away.

Honesty is the best policy. That's actually how my first relationship ended (I stopped feeling physically attracted, so I broke it off and sat down with him and explained to him with complete honesty why I was doing it - so he knew I wasn't a. cheating on him, b. he'd done something).

Also ToS - my first time asking someone out, then subsequent rejection, did put me into a depression for two years (similar to you) and I lost all confidence in that time, and only wanted to be with the one who rejected me. But then in the third year, after he had moved away, I started to pull myself together and realized that I needed to move on. And at the end of that year I had my first relationship. You've got to find the strength within yourself to find your courage again and take another chance.

The second time, I admit I asked over msn (I couldn't do stand to do face to face again), but I intend the third time to be face to face; as that is the best way.

Well getting over the rejection was the easy part (even if it took some time)... the point is, when I was a naive little boy of 14 years, the concept of "no" didn't occur to me... and it was very sobering to hear that for the first time... Where that one is concerned, I don't have to be with her specifically, and I can now deal with her just being a friend (although a slight twinge of awkward sexual tension has existed ever since, it's not enough to override other emotions)...

However, what has proven to be long-lasting is that the experience pulled my head out of the clouds, and now I'm not just blindly blundering into asking women out like I used to (and like how all these self-proclaimed "gurus" here say I should be doing)... and it's put a damper on me taking risky impulsive action (which is what asking a woman you don't know out really is)...

Now, it's not that I can't get her, it's that I can't get anybody...

So you went from 14 year old self centered to thinking you're worthless? =/. Just swinging from one extreme to the other. You got more balls than most for being able to ask a girl out at 14. But seems like you've taken the first and seemingly only? time you've tried and now think they'll all go that bad.

I'm not offering advice on what to do, and if I tell you, know to not ever listen to any advice I may give, I just think if you analyze it, you'll see that maybe basing your life view on an event that happened at age 14 is not very smart.

Put your head back up in the clouds. Ignorance is bliss =P

It's not that I don't want to (believe me, there are times I want to put my head back up in the clouds), but I'm a bit more mature now than I was then, and I know that blindly charging into situations without thinking about the ramifications as I once did as a child is just a ticket to disaster...

Jesus! You're a bit of a buzzkill, aren't you?

it can be considered as achievement if he's young (17 till mid 20s), but he's not.

Because that's the way to encourage someone to progress.

'Too late! You're a loser, try again next life.'

That attitude is psychologically safe, but this is not a target-minded thinking. You can't do well in business .

LPP you ARE so bitter!! jk but seriously, please stop "crushing dreams" left, right & centre ya big meanie!

He's a bigger buzz kill than Buzz Killington...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rWTRMACSVg[/youtube]

(I apologise for the awful video quality)

I do wonder if the guys on here who whine about never having girls actually ever ask girls out.

I have asked girls out before...

I'm not going to go around asking out 100 girls a day, though... Unlike alex, billsmith, and a bunch of other people here, I am decidedly not a masochist...

LOL! Hey now, I'm not a masochist. For whatever experience I have had (still not enough, for what I wish my life had been), I've probably only asked out 4 or 5 girls out in my life, max. Sometimes someone else asks you out, or things happen. And sometimes you get rejected, and not just romantically, but by friends as well (or people you want to be your friend). I'm not going to say "hey, just get over it" to those who can't take the rejection, because yeah, to some people, it's a lot more crippling than others, and this includes me. I'm very rejection averse, but I think if you are used to it (like if people reject you in general), it doesn't sting as much anymore once you really get determined, and if you have anything terrible happen in your life or to your loved ones, it also takes some of the pain off of the rejection.

I for one congratulate the OP on taking action, and for taking the right attitude to the result. The next steps are to do things to improve your chances, and to pick your next "target" more carefully, based on odds of success and signals you might get from that person.

Also, to the OP -- what do you do for a living? What's your financial situation? What kind of physical shape are you in?

I don't whine for never having girls.

Go out with me.