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Why do women always like to mess with guys?

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hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 6:25 pm

KenM wrote:
For some reason when I women says "I just want to be friends" it causes me to think that they are not being honest with me and don't respect me enough to tell me flat out they are not interested.


Change your way of thinking.
You've been told OVER and OVER again why women do this and that is NEVER the reason.



KenM
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26 Nov 2009, 6:25 pm

Daniella wrote:

It's a compliment! She's into you. If I were you, I'd take it as a compliment and let it boost my self confidence.


I have heard of people that just like flirting and they don't mean it. Its just how they interact with people. If someone I knew was married or had a boyfriend started flirting with me I would wonder why as well. I think if you flirt and know its just in fun you are sendng the wrong message and getting the other persons hope up.



KenM
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26 Nov 2009, 6:28 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
KenM wrote:
For some reason when I women says "I just want to be friends" it causes me to think that they are not being honest with me and don't respect me enough to tell me flat out they are not interested.


Change your way of thinking.
You've been told OVER and OVER again why women do this and that is NEVER the reason.


Yes I know. I said in another thread that for some reason I can't get over this. I know I have to change my way of thinking about it. I asked people in that other thread not to keep bringin it up. Please respect that. I said I am going to work on it. End of discussion.



hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 6:36 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
You can’t expect to be on the same terms a people who have been friends for a while.


I disagree here, its exremely rude to stop and yap to someone on the street without introducing the person you're with, leaving them standing like a lost dog in the background. I cannot press how rude that is. A LOT of people do it, but it doesn't make it okay at all. That is somthing i will NEVER stoop to.

KenM needs to read this post and realise that having aspergers (Which I do) does not mean you cannot improve your social skills and be better than the mainstream in many ways.



hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 6:43 pm

PaganMom wrote:
Maybe Ken should get one of those foreign brides. Really. I saw a documentary about it. It costs a lot, but he's got a wife and since she wants to be a citizen, she will treat him however he wants to be treated.

Hey, it's an option

PaganMom


That won't work. KenM will just be butthurt that shes using him for citezinship. If he has issues with minor things like this "lets be friends" crap most people don't care about, this is 100% impossible.

KenM wrote:
Well I felt she only wanted to come over and hang out with me from nantucket when she wanted something. A ride to the airport, a bed to stay in on cape cod. It was not just those few things. It was a number of things that made me feel that way. She never wanted to be a friend to me when I wanted. Only when she needed something. Friendship is supost to be a two way steet this was not.


Thats valid in my opinion. I would think the same. If someone only contacts you when they want something it's a clear sign they're using you.



hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 6:49 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
Women, on the other hand, start out at the peak of their popularity in the teen years, and it declines from there.


Where the hell did you pull that garbage from?

To me, being treated badly when you're young, like I have been, should give you the DRIVE to be a better person.



hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 6:51 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Anyone can get sucked in.


Yeah I get used by men.... AND women a lot too.



hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 6:54 pm

Fiz wrote:
Tom wrote:
I don't agree fully DW, I think there are some NT women who expect PUA behaviour from a man, but those women have men meant for them, men with very social and subtle nuanced brains who can make them happy. Thank you for the encouragement though.


I don't doubt the truthfulness of your statement for one minute Tom, but, surely, women who allow men to treat them in this way are either inexperienced, a poor judge of character or have a screw loose...


Or simply have no self esteem.

I have let someone treat me like garbage. Its because I don't believe in myself enough to stand upto him. I'm working on it.



hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 6:56 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
I don't know why they do that. Girls like screwing with all of us. I hate when girls hit on me when they have a boyfriend. I hate it because that's false advertising. If they have a boyfriend then fine but leave me alone then!! !! Don't lead me on to believe I have a chance. It's mean. Especially a guy like me who's had nothing! That's what I feel like saying anyways.


Thats called cock teasing and it's very common. What you don't realise is men do this too, but often it ends up with them cheating on their spouse.

Women who do that really REALLY annoy me too tbh. You aren't alone on that one. Its not just when they have a boyfriend either, they do it even when they don't but have no intention of ever getting with the guy. It's pathetic.



Last edited by hale_bopp on 26 Nov 2009, 7:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 7:02 pm

PaganMom wrote:
Actually though, about the flirting, I think some people just like to flirt. There are some people who just flirt with every adult of the opposite sex.


It's extremely annoying. They only do it because they are pathetic and need acknowledgement. Men pay all this attention to some insecure attention craving whore and get nowhere. It really is the sort of behaviour on both parts, the woman acting this way, and the man paying attention to her that make me go

hmm
I don't know

FACEPALM!! !

Daniella wrote:
Homer_Bob wrote:
Well that doesn't do me any good. I don't want a girl to get me excited for nothing if I don't have a chance with her. I would very much prefer for girls to leave me alone if they are taken already. They got their boyfriend for that.


It's a compliment! She's into you. If I were you, I'd take it as a compliment and let it boost my self confidence.


Why do assume that? She probably isn't into you at all but is just an attention seeking slapper.



KenM
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26 Nov 2009, 7:11 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
You can’t expect to be on the same terms a people who have been friends for a while.


I disagree here, its exremely rude to stop and yap to someone on the street without introducing the person you're with, leaving them standing like a lost dog in the background. I cannot press how rude that is. A LOT of people do it, but it doesn't make it okay at all. That is somthing i will NEVER stoop to.

KenM needs to read this post and realise that having aspergers (Which I do) does not mean you cannot improve your social skills and be better than the mainstream in many ways.


I have done things to try and improve my social skills. But nothing has seemed to help short of meds. I am going to look into that now as well. Only option left. If I knew what I was doing that put off alot of people, I would change it but I try to be positive and all that when I am with people but nothing seems to work.

But I do know that if you are with someone and you run into someone you know its just curtiosy to introduce the person you are with to them. Heck I have AS and I know enough to do that. Maybe there is hope for me yet.



hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2009, 7:16 pm

KenM wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
You can’t expect to be on the same terms a people who have been friends for a while.


I disagree here, its exremely rude to stop and yap to someone on the street without introducing the person you're with, leaving them standing like a lost dog in the background. I cannot press how rude that is. A LOT of people do it, but it doesn't make it okay at all. That is somthing i will NEVER stoop to.

KenM needs to read this post and realise that having aspergers (Which I do) does not mean you cannot improve your social skills and be better than the mainstream in many ways.


I have done things to try and improve my social skills. But nothing has seemed to help short of meds. I am going to look into that now as well. Only option left. If I knew what I was doing that put off alot of people, I would change it but I try to be positive and all that when I am with people but nothing seems to work.

But I do know that if you are with someone and you run into someone you know its just curtiosy to introduce the person you are with to them. Heck I have AS and I know enough to do that. Maybe there is hope for me yet.


Well I see you're making a start with learning to try and get over the whole "lets be friends" statement. THAT is improving your social skills. If you can get over the whole disrespect mind set and convince yourself shes trying not to hurt you - REGARDLESS of the fact it DOES - it's not her intention, you can hopefully remove this from your list of problems with women.

If you introduce someone you're with to a friend you meet on the street - that is an example of good social skills.

Thefact is I see it, is you ARE improving your social skills. Even just a little at a time is still an improvement. You can't pop a pill and wake up the next day perfectly in tune with what people do and why. It takes work.

Stop fighting the world and work with it. Which I see you are trying to do, and good work.



techstepgenr8tion
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26 Nov 2009, 10:45 pm

I might add that getting subtly turned down or rejected isn't even necessarily rejection. She may have just seen a lack of common interest and really be saving them both the trouble. In that case ifs actually a service. I think the challenge a lot of people still have is just removing the highschool tags from adult behavior once the hit that range, realistically the intentions after say 25 or 26 are much more practical than petty.



PaganMom
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28 Nov 2009, 10:10 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
PaganMom wrote:
Actually though, about the flirting, I think some people just like to flirt. There are some people who just flirt with every adult of the opposite sex.


It's extremely annoying. They only do it because they are pathetic and need acknowledgement. Men pay all this attention to some insecure attention craving whore and get nowhere. It really is the sort of behaviour on both parts, the woman acting this way, and the man paying attention to her that make me go

hmm
I don't know



No, that's not why they do it at all. My father in law, who was in his 70s would flirt with the bank teller, the checkout girl etc. He obviously didn't mean it and didn't do it in a lecherous way. Also, sometimes people flirt just for fun. It doesn't mean anything and it's kinda fun, unless you run into some bitter person who dislikes everyone and everything because of their own situation or ideas of it.

PaganMom



Spokane_Girl

28 Nov 2009, 10:13 pm

I've been accused of flirting by a drama queen here awhile back. I have no idea what flirting is. I don't understand it. My husband has told me I was flirting with him when I be teasing him, being my normal self. I supposed I flirted growing up because I enjoyed teasing. If that's what flirting means, then I have flirted since my infant years.



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29 Nov 2009, 5:12 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:
I've been accused of flirting by a drama queen here awhile back. I have no idea what flirting is. I don't understand it. My husband has told me I was flirting with him when I be teasing him, being my normal self. I supposed I flirted growing up because I enjoyed teasing. If that's what flirting means, then I have flirted since my infant years.


If that's true and teasing guys is flirting with them then oh dear... I didn't realise that. Ok I might possibly have been flirting accidently. Interesting when I didn't think I knew how to flirt...