How not to come across as creepy.

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I really like that song, and I asked because my post was the one above yours.

But yes there are a lot of generalisations.

That doesn't suprise me that you like that song. You sentimental wishy washy emotionally irrational, animal lovin, moaning wench of a woman!

Yes, you guys are looking at things in black and white. Social rules are made to be broken, you just have to break them in ways that demonstrate confidence, not social obliviousness. You feel it would be inappropriate to demonstrate your desire for a woman in certain ways because you've probably been called a creep before, and your instinctive solution was to not repeat those behaviors. Anything that would normally be "creepy" must be said confidently, and in the case of "That's a cute shirt, it makes your boobs look nice" it must be said nonchalantly. NT girls talk about their boobs all the time, and you can too. I'm not saying you should only acknowledge a girl's natural features, but there's no harm in doing so. It's understandable that an Aspie girl would rather be complimented on her uniqueness or intelligence.

Learning social skills is an obsession of mine, and I've done it very well for someone with Asperger's. So TRUST ME, I'm not being that much of a pig by society's standards. It's fine if you can't imagine a situation where that's not rude, but clearly you haven't spent much time observing these "jerks" and haven't spent ANY time getting to know them.

I think cheating is the worst thing you could possibly do, and would never do it myself, but I can even see how "jerks" end up doing that and are still good people (assuming they feel remorse for it). Not saying it's ever excusable.

Thanks! I will take that as a compliment.. : ) . And yes I find that song to be very romantic. I saw Bryan Adams in concert when I was about 20.

The thing is, just because girls discuss a topic amongst other girls, it doesnt mean it is a good thing for a guy to bring up at a cocktail party. For instance, women sometimes discuss periods. Are you really going to go up to a woman and say "How was your last period?" Could you say to a woman in a bar "So, lets discuss smear tests."

What's wrong with it?

I think it's like calling testicles balls or testies.

I still wish I had your good looks. If I did my women problems would be solved.



HAHA!! So true. Your replies always crack me up.

Actually the joker vs batman in the new movie was a opposite/parallel concept of quiet and loud confidence.

zen_mistress: Bad example, whatever. Being unafraid to talk about sexual matters shows confidence, unless you do it in front of her friends, because girls are afraid of looking like sluts. I'm sorry, this is the truth, from personal experience.

emuman: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? I've been obsessed with improving my appearance and social skills for a few years now. I thought it would be much easier than it ended up being. Guess what? Even if you're attractive, you're still expected to confidently make all of the moves. Fat girls will initiate, but usually the most a pretty girl will do is subtly flirt with you. It's tough as an Aspie to recognize these cues, and it's even harder to act on them. Even if you DO decide to act on them, which is scary, you might unintentionally convey characteristics an NT girl would consider creepy or weird and she'll lose interest.

Just because most of you disagree with me doesn't mean I'm not more socially aware than most of you. I'm aware I look like a douchebag to you, and 12 year old me would probably think 20 year old me is a douchebag, but it's all subjective; to an NT who hasn't known me for very long I'm an outgoing, not socially awkward guy. They don't know that I'm scared s***less at certain parties or that I spend most of the time when I'm NOT out locked in my room.

Nim: Interesting, never noticed that.

I wish I had knew these rules when I was younger, I hate to say but I was a creeper when I was around 17-19. Asking women strange and personal questions,staring, following them to closely. I think the problem is that I was intimidated by women, I used to see them as alien and weird and never spent much time around them before coming to college. And even though I'm now more confident than I was a few years back, I still occasionally make a few mistakes.

Shy Guys, the key to getting girls is simple: treat them like human beings, talk to them like you talk to your friends. Also, try too meet girls that share your interest, and have attractive personalities, rather than based solely off physical attraction(although that is important of course) and social status, and what society tells you is attractive. And also stop fearing rejection. Each woman is different and has her preferences of what is attractive and not, one group might think your ugly, another group might think your hot, so if you get rejected it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. For every woman a mack or a player beds, there are 10 women that rejected him, but they don't care, because they know in the end, they will get some.

Boo, did you come up with a algorithm attached to a script that will do mass calculations, much like the Watson computer for the specific purpose of sending back a funny response? Because if you have, Mr. Data might be interested in purchasing it from you.

I was actually obese'ish up until my 20's. My pictures in those days would scare any woman from entering a dark alley or leaving their doors unlocked. Now I'm still scary but "hot"... no problems solved. Unless you where using sarcasm? But more than likely no ones actually cute - and although coming off as non-creepy is ideal, it usually just runs down to women meeting lots of men all the time. You yourself walk up and say "hi" and they say "CREEP" because they meet a lot of guys that walk up and say hi .. Each woman is different, and no matter what you do you will come off as creepy all the time. So the likely situation is that you should always walk up to a woman, cower in fear - and bow your head/beg her to possibly go out with you like in one of those over the top japanese animes.

Either way you'll never win, and technically... coming off creepy isn't a issue, because when you meet someone substantial its as easy as being yourself one day - and someone saying "ha ha ha, i like you".

Last edited by Nim on 09 Apr 2011, 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I want a serious answer.