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If a partner doesn't lead to happiness...

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nilescrane
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28 Nov 2010, 3:13 pm

katzefrau wrote:
nilescrane wrote:
The reason some guys on here are bitter about Erisad is because since she's a woman, she's overlooked for her low self-esteem and depression...while guys on here that are her male equivalent have no options and are treated poorly by women. But whining about it isn't going to do anything.


if anyone overlooks something negative about Erisad it's because she's friendly and treats people respectfully. that's probably why she found a partner also.

maybe whoever is bitter toward her could learn something from her instead.

otherwise this is just another MenHaveItWorse statement and there are enough arguments about that.

bitter people have it worse. it's just true. it helps no one to indulge the kind of thinking that blames people who have it easier or have overcome some of their difficulties. use them as role models instead.


Like it or not, it's true. Toad is in all purposes a good person...not the best looking...and like Erisad, has shown depressive tendencies and low self-esteem issues. A guy will overlook that if he's desperate enough for a girlfriend...a woman won't even talk to a guy like Toad because the low self-esteem is obvious by the way he carries himself.

I'm in agreement that being bitter about it isn't going to solve anything...but the fact remains, that because Erisad is a woman with female anatomy, her problems will eventually be overlooked by a member of the opposite sex while guys like Toad are just "the creepy guy."

Wow, can't believe I'm defending Toad on here lol.



katzefrau
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28 Nov 2010, 3:16 pm

spongy wrote:
As katzefrau pointed out its all about focusing on your good aspects


yes!


spongy wrote:
and trying to hide your issues as much as posible.


wait - no. how's that going to hold up when someone really gets to know you?

what i mean to say is that when you respect yourself (flaws and all - everyone has plenty, even NTs) it is visible to other people and is probably most of what makes you likable. so no one is doomed because they're awkward, not great looking, or for any other particular trait .. nevermind. let me rephrase: i think attitude matters more than social skills when relating to other people, as far as whether you are perceived positively or negatively. this is undeniable.


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katzefrau
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28 Nov 2010, 3:22 pm

nilescrane wrote:
katzefrau wrote:
nilescrane wrote:
The reason some guys on here are bitter about Erisad is because since she's a woman, she's overlooked for her low self-esteem and depression...while guys on here that are her male equivalent have no options and are treated poorly by women. But whining about it isn't going to do anything.


if anyone overlooks something negative about Erisad it's because she's friendly and treats people respectfully. that's probably why she found a partner also.

maybe whoever is bitter toward her could learn something from her instead.

otherwise this is just another MenHaveItWorse statement and there are enough arguments about that.

bitter people have it worse. it's just true. it helps no one to indulge the kind of thinking that blames people who have it easier or have overcome some of their difficulties. use them as role models instead.


Like it or not, it's true. Toad is in all purposes a good person...not the best looking...and like Erisad, has shown depressive tendencies and low self-esteem issues. A guy will overlook that if he's desperate enough for a girlfriend...a woman won't even talk to a guy like Toad because the low self-esteem is obvious by the way he carries himself.

I'm in agreement that being bitter about it isn't going to solve anything...but the fact remains, that because Erisad is a woman with female anatomy, her problems will eventually be overlooked by a member of the opposite sex while guys like Toad are just "the creepy guy."

Wow, can't believe I'm defending Toad on here lol.


there are differences in their attitude. i think Toad seems to be a nice guy. but i have noticed him being really self-deprecating.

you can either force yourself out of this rut, where you are always blaming an external factor (gender is a common one), or you can look at the way you view yourself. because that is how other people will view you.

and how you view the opposite sex - here you've revealed you think girls are forgiven for more - you're bitter. this will be evident in how you act!

your choice.


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nilescrane
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28 Nov 2010, 3:32 pm

I personally don't care what Erisad is or isn't doing with her life. I'm not one of the guys on here whining about not having a girlfriend or mad at Erisad because she has a boyfriend. I was just defending guys like Toad, but I also agree that dwelling on it isn't solving anything. Toad has shown signs of extreme bitterness toward other couples in general, which isn't an attractive trait.



spongy
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28 Nov 2010, 3:35 pm

katzefrau wrote:
spongy wrote:
As katzefrau pointed out its all about focusing on your good aspects


yes!


spongy wrote:
and trying to hide your issues as much as posible.


wait - no. how's that going to hold up when someone really gets to know you?

what i mean to say is that when you respect yourself (flaws and all - everyone has plenty, even NTs) it is visible to other people and is probably most of what makes you likable. so no one is doomed because they're awkward, not great looking, or for any other particular trait .. nevermind. let me rephrase: i think attitude matters more than social skills when relating to other people, as far as whether you are perceived positively or negatively. this is undeniable.

You are right on the whole accepting yourself however its a very though proccess that some people dont succeed
at no matter how much they try(Ive been through most known proccess excluding the escort one because I find it way too creepy).


What I was trying to say(awfull wording now that I reread it at your quote) is that men should focus on their good aspects and avoid thinking about their flaws(which is very similar to accepting yourself and is something Im capable of doing once I realize what my strengths are).


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menintights
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28 Nov 2010, 3:38 pm

Sometimes it's not really about attitude, it's about meeting the right person at the right time.

Having a good attitude can help, but it's not a guarantee that you'll meet the right person.

Likewise, having a bad attitude is not a guarantee that you won't meet someone who (for various reasons) would want to be with you.



katzefrau
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28 Nov 2010, 3:47 pm

well, it's not going to do anything but help.

it's tough luck for anyone who isn't compatible with most people, but there really is no such thing as THE right person.


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menintights
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28 Nov 2010, 4:10 pm

You're right, I'm gonna rephrase that to "being in the right place at the right time."



nick007
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28 Nov 2010, 5:29 pm

nthach wrote:
nilescrane wrote:
The reason some guys on here are bitter about Erisad is because since because she's a woman, she's overlooked for her low self-esteem and depression...while guys on here that are her male equivalent have no options and are treated poorly by women. But whining about it isn't going to do anything.

TOS, and nick007 need to think outside of the box, IMO.

I think I need to have an arranged marriage; I think lots of woman would like me if they were willing to give me a chance. Some people in my area suggested that I find a girl with an alcohol problems or a drug addiction & keep her wired :evil:



Quartz11
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28 Nov 2010, 7:18 pm

nick007 wrote:
nthach wrote:
nilescrane wrote:
The reason some guys on here are bitter about Erisad is because since because she's a woman, she's overlooked for her low self-esteem and depression...while guys on here that are her male equivalent have no options and are treated poorly by women. But whining about it isn't going to do anything.

TOS, and nick007 need to think outside of the box, IMO.

I think I need to have an arranged marriage; I think lots of woman would like me if they were willing to give me a chance. Some people in my area suggested that I find a girl with an alcohol problems or a drug addiction & keep her wired :evil:


No, that's just a bit too evil.

Just find some unattractive, unwanted girl on the internet that's needy and desperate. There's plenty out there, once you start running across back corners of the internet and among the awkward gals you knew from high school.



nick007
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28 Nov 2010, 8:14 pm

Quartz11 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
nthach wrote:
nilescrane wrote:
The reason some guys on here are bitter about Erisad is because since because she's a woman, she's overlooked for her low self-esteem and depression...while guys on here that are her male equivalent have no options and are treated poorly by women. But whining about it isn't going to do anything.

TOS, and nick007 need to think outside of the box, IMO.

I think I need to have an arranged marriage; I think lots of woman would like me if they were willing to give me a chance. Some people in my area suggested that I find a girl with an alcohol problems or a drug addiction & keep her wired :evil:


No, that's just a bit too evil.

Just find some unattractive, unwanted girl on the internet that's needy and desperate. There's plenty out there, once you start running across back corners of the internet and among the awkward gals you knew from high school.

I spent 6 years trying to find someone online but women who are desperate & unwanted still won't give me a chance :cry: An arranged marriage is appealing because I could skip the social BS of trying to find a woman; It's about the only way I could get a woman. I should start looking for guys; I'll have much better luck sense homosexuals like me



menintights
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28 Nov 2010, 9:27 pm

Quartz11 wrote:
Just find some unattractive, unwanted girl on the internet that's needy and desperate. There's plenty out there, once you start running across back corners of the internet and among the awkward gals you knew from high school.


And with that statement, you just revealed yourself to a be a scumbag.

nick007 wrote:
An arranged marriage is appealing because I could skip the social BS of trying to find a woman; It's about the only way I could get a woman.


Nick, someone has to say it: If the only way for you to be in a relationship is for someone else to be pushed/forced into having a relationship with you, then maybe you don't deserve to be in a relationship. It's one thing to have an all-around low self-esteem and be depressed 24/7, but to also view women as a commodity on top of all that... I don't know about lots of women, but I'm not liking you very much right now (and several times before that).



Quartz11
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28 Nov 2010, 9:41 pm

nick007 wrote:
I spent 6 years trying to find someone online but women who are desperate & unwanted still won't give me a chance :cry: An arranged marriage is appealing because I could skip the social BS of trying to find a woman; It's about the only way I could get a woman.


Except how often do you see arranged marriage in western society?


menintights wrote:
Quartz11 wrote:
Just find some unattractive, unwanted girl on the internet that's needy and desperate. There's plenty out there, once you start running across back corners of the internet and among the awkward gals you knew from high school.


And with that statement, you just revealed yourself to a be a scumbag.


So far this year, I've had two women I met through another forum hit on me - both were willing to sleep with me, and both were married. And then I had a girl I went to high school with go all Level 5 Cling-on.

I don't have to do anything. Crazy seems to be attracted to me. Now if I was a scumbag, I woulda ran off and hooked up with any those three, then dumped em once my needs were taken care of. But, I didn't - however tempting cheap sex might be - because I rather not have cheap scumbag hookups.



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29 Nov 2010, 12:00 am

Erisad wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
erisad you've done nothing wrong, sure its not as exciting as explosions and stuff
but you have every right to be happy and stuff
and if the men, like toad don't like it
well they can go f**k themselves
just because they're sad doesn't mean you have to be
enjoy life, and have fun! And don't censor yourself for anyone


To be fair, this is his thread about being unhappy in being single. This is a support site for people with issues that can effect getting a relationship so is the perfect place to post about it. It's out of line to talk like that about people here for that reason. I've got nothing against Erisad but I do think talking of her exploits in her new relationship in this thread can easily appear to be rubbing it in.


Look, the only reason I posted in here to begin with was because the Face of Boo brought my name up. I didn't mean to rub my success in. I was just explaining myself by responding to the posts directing at me. I thought that maybe I could bring hope to some of the sad posters, seeing as I was in a similar boat as them. Ugh, I'm getting sick of defending myself for being happy. I didn't think being positive could be offensive but there it is. :/


You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

People like Toad are pathetic psychic vampires who need others to be miserable and feed off the "there there widdle baby" validation they look for from whining.



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29 Nov 2010, 12:14 am

nick007 wrote:
nthach wrote:
nilescrane wrote:
The reason some guys on here are bitter about Erisad is because since because she's a woman, she's overlooked for her low self-esteem and depression...while guys on here that are her male equivalent have no options and are treated poorly by women. But whining about it isn't going to do anything.

TOS, and nick007 need to think outside of the box, IMO.

I think I need to have an arranged marriage; I think lots of woman would like me if they were willing to give me a chance. Some people in my area suggested that I find a girl with an alcohol problems or a drug addiction & keep her wired :evil:

www.singaporeair.com
www.evaair.com
www.cathaypacific.com

Make friends with someone from Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia, get to know their family, book a flight to said countries via those airlines, meet 3rd world country girl, go back to America.

Easy as that. :)



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29 Nov 2010, 12:20 am

menintights wrote:
Quartz11 wrote:
Just find some unattractive, unwanted girl on the internet that's needy and desperate. There's plenty out there, once you start running across back corners of the internet and among the awkward gals you knew from high school.


And with that statement, you just revealed yourself to a be a scumbag.

nick007 wrote:
An arranged marriage is appealing because I could skip the social BS of trying to find a woman; It's about the only way I could get a woman.


Nick, someone has to say it: If the only way for you to be in a relationship is for someone else to be pushed/forced into having a relationship with you, then maybe you don't deserve to be in a relationship. It's one thing to have an all-around low self-esteem and be depressed 24/7, but to also view women as a commodity on top of all that... I don't know about lots of women, but I'm not liking you very much right now (and several times before that).


Quartz11, if slumming it works then go for it! :twisted:

Nick, this isn't Durkadurkadurkistan so get that crap about arranged marriage out of your head. It's funny you mentioned going for guys. If you are actually bisexual, go for it. Two bits of advice though, buy a shower nozzle and always use a condom.