have you ever been a target of a PUA (pick-up artist)?

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18 Jul 2013, 12:03 pm

Before the current trends of PUA, there was ... the Rules.

http://therulesbook.com/

Just as manipulative.

And I'm pretty sure many women have used it against me in one way or another.

MCalavera
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18 Jul 2013, 12:08 pm

The gist of the Rules is play hard to get with the guy and don't even meet him halfway, let him do the whole work. And make sure he really, really, really loves you before you get serious with him. Don't give him time and space to breathe and think and consider.

Tequila
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18 Jul 2013, 12:09 pm

MCalavera wrote:

Before the current trends of PUA, there was ... the Rules.

http://therulesbook.com/

Just as manipulative.

And I'm pretty sure many women have used it against me in one way or another.

I remember reading the reviews of that book. Both men and women alike savaged it.

Tequila
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18 Jul 2013, 12:11 pm

MCalavera wrote:

The gist of the Rules is play hard to get with the guy

Is it worrying that I think that people playing "hard to get" and sending mixed signals is messing with other's heads, and is likely to make them angry? And that, in the wrong people, that might manifest itself as anger expressed sexually? If someone is constantly teasing you with the prospect of sex, never turning you down directly (even when asked) and basically making you feel like crap, that this might eventually lead to frustrated aggression on the male's part?

Shau
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18 Jul 2013, 1:13 pm

The worst thing about the PUA community is how stuffed to the brim with misogyny it is. I swear the girls around here think the misogyny on this forum is bad, by the Gods it's tame here, trust me. I've read articles on things like "How to hit your girlfriend and have her respect you for it". Dead serious.

Fundamentally, I doubt most women are opposed to the idea of a systematic way for men to become better, more exciting lovers. PUA is like a rifle...you can oppress people with a rifle, you can feed your family with game with a rifle. It's what you decide to do with it that matters.

slovaksiren
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18 Jul 2013, 1:20 pm

Tequila wrote:

MCalavera wrote:

The gist of the Rules is play hard to get with the guy

OH MY GOSH! My aunt was OBSESSED with that book for a while. I tried it, but finally I realized how bitchy it made me look to guys so I handed the book back to her and told her:

"Screw the Rules, I have common sense!"

MXH
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18 Jul 2013, 1:21 pm

Shau wrote:

and just like with riffles people find the best way of dealing with them is banning riffles instead of seeing why f****d up people use them for bad.

namaste
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18 Jul 2013, 1:40 pm

I have met a PUA myself.

My ex- psychiatrist.

The first time i went to him he asked me whether i have high sex drive.
i thought what a out of box question that is.

Next time i went he held my fingers
Then said he was just checking for tremors

He asked me to call him
I said i dont call up people due to anxiety

He Showed lot of interest and asking me questions and caring for me etc.

Third visit he not only held my fingers but held my hands
I dont know what the hell he was checking this time.

Then he showed lot of interest again
And told me to add him on wataspp
i said i dont have that stuff
he said to download it.

And once i added him on watsapp
he asked me to come for a drive.

He was a charming PUA
He asked me why i was sooooooooooo conservative

I didnt go to meet him
I just stopped consulting him also.

He was really using some magic
And being a psychatrist he used his knowledge to seduce women

Its bad and people shouldnt misuse their status
or knowledge to cause hurt to anyone

I really understand what you went through
Its morally and ethically wrong of that person
But casual sex is that way only
And no expectation should be kept in that.

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Shau
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18 Jul 2013, 2:05 pm

MXH wrote:

and just like with riffles people find the best way of dealing with them is banning riffles instead of seeing why f**** up people use them for bad.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riffle

f**k Mother Nature and all her damn riffles!

Tequila
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18 Jul 2013, 2:12 pm

slovaksiren wrote:

Tequila wrote:

MCalavera wrote:

The gist of the Rules is play hard to get with the guy

It would make you very unpleasant and controlling company.

Good on you for ditching it.

MCalavera
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18 Jul 2013, 2:18 pm

Tequila wrote:

slovaksiren wrote:

Tequila wrote:

MCalavera wrote:

The gist of the Rules is play hard to get with the guy

It would make you very unpleasant and controlling company.

Good on you for ditching it.

Yeah, emotionally and mentally draining is not a good cup of tea.

MCalavera
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18 Jul 2013, 2:22 pm

namaste wrote:

Out of curiosity, why didn't you? You make it sound like you actually did fall for him, so my first thought was you're hiding something about this story. But I could be mistaken.

Tequila
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18 Jul 2013, 2:25 pm

It reads like she rode him, even after we told her not to.

Shau
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18 Jul 2013, 2:27 pm

Tequila wrote:

It reads like she rode him, even after we told her not to.

Maybe she didn't for the same reasons we don't give in to the temptation when we know it's a bad idea.

Shatbat
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18 Jul 2013, 3:20 pm

namaste, what?

And he was your doctor?

That's so unethical it makes me want to slap him silly and I don't even know him :evil: . But a psychiatrist has NO business hitting on his patients. He should be helping you. He is in a position of power where he gets to know all your vulnerabilities. When I took a psychology course one of the lecturers talked about how many patients fell in love with their doctors because of the intimacy, and that psychologists had to avoid reciprocating to keep the doctor-patient relationship and he's doing just the opposite.

Ugh. I'm worked up way more than I should :lol:

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Tequila
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18 Jul 2013, 3:29 pm

He sounds like a predator in that he's taking advantage of transference feelings, and the feelings of lonely women who want to be loved.

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