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The problem with letting a woman know you care about looks

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rabbitears
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03 Jun 2012, 10:39 am

Blind assumptions make me laugh yet make me so angry also.

Anyway, yeah, the two comments above.... No point trying to add to them. They speak well for themselves.


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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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03 Jun 2012, 11:06 am

I find male or female human Cabbage Patch dolls repulsive, I think it's disgusting. I cannot comprehed how someone would let themselves go to that extent and I do not associate with them and I do not date them. How can you look at the scales and see an increase of 140lbs of fat and not want to do something about it. I see them waddling about and feel like shaking some sense into them. I just cannot take a person with this mentality seriously as a human being.



NicoleG
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03 Jun 2012, 11:46 am

ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote:
I find male or female human Cabbage Patch dolls repulsive, I think it's disgusting. I cannot comprehed how someone would let themselves go to that extent and I do not associate with them and I do not date them. How can you look at the scales and see an increase of 140lbs of fat and not want to do something about it. I see them waddling about and feel like shaking some sense into them. I just cannot take a person with this mentality seriously as a human being.

I have a friend that has the completely opposite mindset as you. He likes the girls with added padding, and an almost roly-poly round look to them, and he has an uncanny dislike of skinny women. He presupposes that a skinny woman is going to be superficially shallow and unlikely to have a heart and be too preoccupied with the less meaningful things in life. Chubbier women he sees as being more down to earth and more likely to be "real".

I can see where you are both coming from.

Do you feel the same way regarding women that have "some" fat on them, but are still curvy, healthy, and still within clinically normal BMI range? Say, someone that's gained 50-60lbs and knows that it's starting to get out of hand.



ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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03 Jun 2012, 12:27 pm

I don't really go for very thin girls I tend to have gone for a curvy 'type', but I'd still protest about having a type at all.



thewhitrbbit
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03 Jun 2012, 2:20 pm

In my experience, this is one of those double standards. The women I know talk about looks all the time on guys so I know women care just as much, but they want to have their cake and eat it too.

I think it's wrong that things are approached like that; but I also have a problem with guys who call girl's ugly. Ugly is relative.

I don't find extremely skinny or extremely heavy women attractive but that doesn't mean they are ugly, I just personally don't find that attractive.

I know some guys who say "the bigger the better" with women and I don't mean boobs.

But approaching these issues is like navigating a mine field.



TM
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03 Jun 2012, 3:59 pm

thewhitrbbit wrote:
In my experience, this is one of those double standards. The women I know talk about looks all the time on guys so I know women care just as much, but they want to have their cake and eat it too.

I think it's wrong that things are approached like that; but I also have a problem with guys who call girl's ugly. Ugly is relative.

I don't find extremely skinny or extremely heavy women attractive but that doesn't mean they are ugly, I just personally don't find that attractive.

I know some guys who say "the bigger the better" with women and I don't mean boobs.

But approaching these issues is like navigating a mine field.


Women are less looks oriented than males, but much, much more status oriented. In effect, women subconsciously tend to look for men with genes that would benefit offspring, even if they don't really plan on having children with him.

Good looking guys are chosen because the woman observes them being in demand and thus conclude that the genes the man would contribute to offspring would also make them in demand and so on.



Kurgan
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03 Jun 2012, 4:06 pm

TM wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
In my experience, this is one of those double standards. The women I know talk about looks all the time on guys so I know women care just as much, but they want to have their cake and eat it too.

I think it's wrong that things are approached like that; but I also have a problem with guys who call girl's ugly. Ugly is relative.

I don't find extremely skinny or extremely heavy women attractive but that doesn't mean they are ugly, I just personally don't find that attractive.

I know some guys who say "the bigger the better" with women and I don't mean boobs.

But approaching these issues is like navigating a mine field.


Women are less looks oriented than males, but much, much more status oriented. In effect, women subconsciously tend to look for men with genes that would benefit offspring, even if they don't really plan on having children with him.

Good looking guys are chosen because the woman observes them being in demand and thus conclude that the genes the man would contribute to offspring would also make them in demand and so on.


Women and men are equally looks-oriented. With that being said, a woman can overlook a lack of physical attraction if a guy has a very high social status (remember back in high school when a few of the unattractive boys could land hot chicks because they were "cool", had rich parents, wore the latest fashion clothes and so on). For men who are of average (or low) popularity, to get a good-looking girlfriend, you need to be good-looking yourself.

If I didn't go to the gym, brush my teeth four times a day and ate healthy, I'd still be a virgin.



NicoleG
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03 Jun 2012, 9:26 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdrE1VMxzoE[/youtube]



DW_a_mom
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04 Jun 2012, 10:45 am

ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote:
I find male or female human Cabbage Patch dolls repulsive, I think it's disgusting. I cannot comprehed how someone would let themselves go to that extent and I do not associate with them and I do not date them. How can you look at the scales and see an increase of 140lbs of fat and not want to do something about it. I see them waddling about and feel like shaking some sense into them. I just cannot take a person with this mentality seriously as a human being.


This is one of the most offensive things I've ever read on these forums. Cannot take them serioiusly as human beings? I want your statement to live on this board so everyone will know how you really think and treat you accordingly.

You are right, we would never be friends, because I have no patience for people with so little empathy. I don't care who you date, you can make your bed there, but to say this about everyone? Unbelievable.

My first job out of college was at a health club as a fitness instructor. I know the personal stories. And those people were definitely trying to do something about it, even if some were destined to never have visible results, but you'd just look at them and choose not to take them seriously as human beings. That is DISGUSTING.

Enjoy that attitude becuase it will cost you in life, and when you get busy trying to blame the negative reactions you get from people on their missunderstanding of your AS or some other fault of theirs, I hope you will consider that maybe the fault really is yours.


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DW_a_mom
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04 Jun 2012, 10:52 am

Kurgan wrote:
TM wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
In my experience, this is one of those double standards. The women I know talk about looks all the time on guys so I know women care just as much, but they want to have their cake and eat it too.

I think it's wrong that things are approached like that; but I also have a problem with guys who call girl's ugly. Ugly is relative.

I don't find extremely skinny or extremely heavy women attractive but that doesn't mean they are ugly, I just personally don't find that attractive.

I know some guys who say "the bigger the better" with women and I don't mean boobs.

But approaching these issues is like navigating a mine field.


Women are less looks oriented than males, but much, much more status oriented. In effect, women subconsciously tend to look for men with genes that would benefit offspring, even if they don't really plan on having children with him.

Good looking guys are chosen because the woman observes them being in demand and thus conclude that the genes the man would contribute to offspring would also make them in demand and so on.


Women and men are equally looks-oriented. With that being said, a woman can overlook a lack of physical attraction if a guy has a very high social status (remember back in high school when a few of the unattractive boys could land hot chicks because they were "cool", had rich parents, wore the latest fashion clothes and so on). For men who are of average (or low) popularity, to get a good-looking girlfriend, you need to be good-looking yourself.


There are scientific studies proving that men are more visually stimulated than women are. That men are more looks oriented is scientific fact. I guess there is some evolutionary reason for it. Doesn't mean men have to live governed by their chemistry, of course.


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NicoleG
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04 Jun 2012, 11:18 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
There are scientific studies proving that men are more visually stimulated than women are. That men are more looks oriented is scientific fact. I guess there is some evolutionary reason for it. Doesn't mean men have to live governed by their chemistry, of course.

What kind of point are you trying to prove with this?

If 86 out of 100 men are visually stimulated, and only 75 out of 100 women are visually stimulated, a scientific study could easily state that men are "more visually stimulated" than women and even specifically state that men are 15 times more visually stimulated than women. But 75 out of 100 women being visually stimulated is still very highly significant, don't you think?



MXH
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04 Jun 2012, 11:41 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
There are scientific studies proving that men are more visually stimulated than women are. That men are more looks oriented is scientific fact. I guess there is some evolutionary reason for it. Doesn't mean men have to live governed by their chemistry, of course.


Ohh, you mean like a study that tracked what women and men were looking at in a club and ended with women looking at guys often and then lying to the people asking them if they had? For the sake of accuracy, women are just as much looks oriented than men. That they pretend they dont to pass a social facade is a different story.



DW_a_mom
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04 Jun 2012, 1:11 pm

NicoleG wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
There are scientific studies proving that men are more visually stimulated than women are. That men are more looks oriented is scientific fact. I guess there is some evolutionary reason for it. Doesn't mean men have to live governed by their chemistry, of course.

What kind of point are you trying to prove with this?

If 86 out of 100 men are visually stimulated, and only 75 out of 100 women are visually stimulated, a scientific study could easily state that men are "more visually stimulated" than women and even specifically state that men are 15 times more visually stimulated than women. But 75 out of 100 women being visually stimulated is still very highly significant, don't you think?


I responded to a post that used the word "equally.". My only point was to say that it has, in fact, been studied, and the term "equally" does not apply.

I do not recall how strong the varient was.

My personal feelings are reflected most in the last sentence, that no one has to live governed by their chemistry.


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Kurgan
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04 Jun 2012, 1:17 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
This is one of the most offensive things I've ever read on these forums. Cannot take them serioiusly as human beings? I want your statement to live on this board so everyone will know how you really think and treat you accordingly.


he probably could have rephrased his post.

Quote:
You are right, we would never be friends, because I have no patience for people with so little empathy. I don't care who you date, you can make your bed there, but to say this about everyone? Unbelievable.


Empathy to aspies is what reading is to someone with severe dyslexia.

Quote:
My first job out of college was at a health club as a fitness instructor. I know the personal stories. And those people were definitely trying to do something about it, even if some were destined to never have visible results, but you'd just look at them and choose not to take them seriously as human beings. That is DISGUSTING.


Nobody is destined to not see results. Fat people deserve the same respect as everyone else, but they've only got themselves to blame for their weight.

Quote:
Enjoy that attitude becuase it will cost you in life, and when you get busy trying to blame the negative reactions you get from people on their missunderstanding of your AS or some other fault of theirs, I hope you will consider that maybe the fault really is yours.


Nobody chooses to be born with Asperger's.



DW_a_mom
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04 Jun 2012, 1:20 pm

MXH wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
There are scientific studies proving that men are more visually stimulated than women are. That men are more looks oriented is scientific fact. I guess there is some evolutionary reason for it. Doesn't mean men have to live governed by their chemistry, of course.


Ohh, you mean like a study that tracked what women and men were looking at in a club and ended with women looking at guys often and then lying to the people asking them if they had? For the sake of accuracy, women are just as much looks oriented than men. That they pretend they dont to pass a social facade is a different story.


No, the study where they hooked people up to measuring equipment, showed them images, and then recorded the actual physical changes in brain waves or chemistry, etc.


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04 Jun 2012, 1:26 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
MXH wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
There are scientific studies proving that men are more visually stimulated than women are. That men are more looks oriented is scientific fact. I guess there is some evolutionary reason for it. Doesn't mean men have to live governed by their chemistry, of course.


Ohh, you mean like a study that tracked what women and men were looking at in a club and ended with women looking at guys often and then lying to the people asking them if they had? For the sake of accuracy, women are just as much looks oriented than men. That they pretend they dont to pass a social facade is a different story.


No, the study where they hooked people up to measuring equipment, showed them images, and then recorded the actual physical changes in brain waves or chemistry, etc.


http://www.cracked.com/article_18866_5- ... ience.html

What girls seem to prefer fluctuates a lot more than what men seems to prefer, but women still care just as much about looks.