Coping with being an ugly male

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KITTEH!! !! !! !

Well before the thread disappears, I'd like to give advice to the OP. So I'm gonna make this post so I can edit it in case it gets locked.

Anyway, unless your face is like, burnt off or something, or you got crazy looking birthmarks or something like that, you're probably not too ugly. I mean some people have more "blessed" facial features than others, but barring those extreme things, eh, you'll be fine.

I used to think of myself as ugly. I used to be fat, too. I found out recently, people actually consider me quite attractive. I also learned some of the people calling me ugly, were actually ugly themselves (I'm pretty terrible at judging male's attractiveness...) One time, for example, some guy was joking/saying I was high, because I was buying like, candy and soda or something at the convenience store. The guy was loud and obnoxious and red faced, and then when the guy left, the clerk told me "Yeah, that guy is probably really high right now." So a lot of times people's criticism is just used to deflect inadequacies away from themselves. I know it sounds cliched, but many times it is true, especially if the criticism isn't very constructive.

Other things, too, were things I thought were ugly, that were, well, hot. I've always had big legs and a big butt. Which I thought was weird and made me look fat. One time these two girls grabbed it a bunch of times. Me having AS, I thought they were making fun of me, so I yelled at them and more or less flipped out on them for it. I didn't know it meant "Hey I wanna bone you." I also have perfect eyebrows that people ask me if I pluck them when in truth I just do nothing but shave my slight unibrow. I thought in general I looked too effeminate. But, girls apparently actually like that. My looks pretty much were never a problem. Even when I was fat (like 30BMI) I still had girls that liked the way I looked, and I just didn't know it at the time. So I just thought I was ugly and bad looking, when in truth I was the opposite and everyone but myself saw it.

There's been quite a few suggestions in this thread about improving appearance. In my case, I was unconfident and had poor posture, posture fixed many problems. Also, clothes helped a lot. I switched to mostly "preppy" clothes and wore clothes that actually fit instead of all super loose stuff, and wow, huge difference in the way people dealt with me. That and hygiene, improved hygiene helped a lot, too. I used to shower at one point like twice a week, brush my teeth like once every 2 weeks, etc, I had damned terrible hygiene, just because I didn't appreciate myself and didn't realize the whole "Body is a temple of God" thing.

Obviously, you've not posted pics so nobody here can really judge you objectively, and I have no idea how I look, but I hope my input is helpful.

Hyperlexian doesn't seem to have been about lately - she'd be on this thread like a heat-seeking missile!