Seeing all long-term relationships as fundamentally boring

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Married people are boring, Boooo!! *bitterly throwing rotten tomatoes*

Or maybe they find humping at home with their SO to be more fun, hmm.

I'm sorry, but going to the gym is chore whether you're single or not. It's something I have to do, not something I do because it's fun.

Like others have suggested, either don't get into a long term relationship and just have good friends, family and hook-ups or only date women that share your views and want an interesting life.

Lol I actually enjoy working out, in fact the majority of males I meet who do find exercise fun.

This is normal, isn't it?

i workout not for anyone else but myself - to look and feel good, and to be healthy, single or not.

Plus having a fit body helps me with sports, which I enjoy casually, and general fitness.

Like they say, the best job in the world isn't a job, applies true to exercise as well - the funnest chore is not a chore, it's a hobby.

it's the obligation to be joined at the hip ALL... THE... TIME.... only if you practice this!

I'm in a LTR, 8 yrs so far. We have joint and separate friends. Go away for a few days with our own groups of friends or together. It's not healthy to do EVERYTHING together and important to be separate and not at as one in a relationship. We love each other's company but also enjoy time away from each other. It works for us and we are going strong with our long-term relationship and commitments, such as sharing a mortgage!

You also have to remember that the first few months or years of a relationship can have people wrapped up in each other so much that they aren't all that interested in spending too much time away from them.

I've been married for 29 years. My best friend who is a few years younger but looks much younger and is a cougar is a widow. She and I used to hang out all the time and go places or do things. I've been married long enough to where the new has worn off. Then she got with a new bf who I dislike for other reasons but it's been a couple years and I only saw her really when he was in jail and she stayed here a few months.

We are still friends but she's in that wide eyed you're my world honeymoon phase. It wears off eventually. She's aware of it and so am I, so no hurt feelings.

Strange, I thought for most people the 'honeymoon stage' is only the first few weeks/month at most, if that.

And it's well-known advice that even if busy in a relationship, not to abandon or forget about your old friends, something Aspie1 is a victim of.

It's not natural to sacrifice your entire lifestyle for a relationship.

I understand maybe if you're in a relationship you stop going out clubbing with your mates every Friday night, but still doing it once a month still sounds far more realistic than giving it up entirely.

OP has also mentioned his friend's entirely rely on their girlfriend's opinions if they go out or not - also not normal.

Asking for a second opinion ain't the same as asking for permission.

Honestly, some girls are controlling or only want to do what they enjoy. Some guys are too, ive dated them. And some girls are jealous and imagine all sorts of s**t when the guy is out of sight. And when those kinds of girls aren't happy their boyfriends do not get laid. Getting laid is a lot more fun than going out to lots of dudes. It's a trade off. Acceptable loss. More girls than guys are bitchey like that and guys are usually expected to understand that their friends love of getting laidis more important at the moment. Relationships like that usually do not last unless he puts his foot down or she chills. However, there can be a while lot more sex during this time than you think. Three or four times a night every night isn't uncommon for some. That beats a drink with a friend and you know it.

And that honeymoon phase can last a few years. The actual honeymoon doesn't though.

Just don't put up with it from the start

I suppose. But in my mind, sex and relationships aren't linked. I get the bulk of my sex through escort services. Supplemented by sporadic LTRs that made me feel ill at ease about any relationships. By contrast, escort sex gives me an emotional high for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. Especially when I take a train there and back, because I find train rides highly relaxing. Nothing beats sitting back in your seat, looking out the window, listening to the rhythmic clatter of the wheels against the track, all with a "freshly laid" look on your face.

As for the honeymoon phase, there's an evolutionary reason for it. It's meant to make the couple stick together long enough to raise a baby to marginal self-sufficiency. After that, they develop the mobility needed to find food.

Well in their mind they are linked. If you were getting laid good as many times as you wanted every day by somebody you like to be around and have feelings for then you would feel that rush all the time and you wouldn't mind sitting through some boring s**t to be with her. Or all that much anyway.

You have not felt that new relationship energy yet. It's a real high and a terrific rush that lasts a little while but after its gone there is still that desire to be with them. As it fades the fights start about where to go and all that etc if people don't chill, but when you get in a relationship like that and do enjoy her, you'll totally get it.

You keep doing that "you'll get it eventually" thing, which I find highly irritating and insulting. I've been in relationships before, both new and old. But the only thing I felt is anxiety. Plus depression after the first time we had sex. The reason I didn't talk about it on WP for years is because I was afraid of my last girlfriend. So don't patronize me!

And even if you're right about my friends, I still can't get over the thrill of sexing escorts, riding trains, and drinking beer. In that exact order. It's just... wow!! ! Like the first time trying a new roller coaster, or going on an old favorite, only ten times better.

I'm not being patronizing. I think you will because you talk about your progress and you try to understand things and you try things even if you don't expect it to work. I'm not saying "oh you kid who is behind the other kids, you'll catch up eventually and see what we all see now hahahaha". Nope. I do think you will eventually meet somebody that flips that switch for you. If I didn't think you would I would have left that out. If I had wanted to patronize or insult you i would have been very, very unmistakable and fairly hurtful too. I was telling you what I really think. I've never pulled punches with you and when I've insulted you it's been obvious, even when it was sarcasm. So do me the courtesy of taking me straight OK?

There are a lot of things I don't like about you, as I'm sure there are you don't about me, but that doesn't mean I don't think you're getting more and more chances to run into a girl who is right for you. I'm not saying your personality will change and I'll like you better all around, I'm saying someone will like you like you are because you seem to have picked up better communication skills and such since I've met you. And yes, having had to learn all that s**t the hard way myself and practice until it was second nature, I think I can safely give my opinion on that.

If I patronize I won't do it backhanded. You know me better than that. While we do clash, I like to think there is mutual respect. I'm not a backwards insult type gal.

I get that you're not intending to be patronizing, but it's very much coming across that way. So please stop using statements like "eventually, you will...", "you'll understand, when...", and all that jazz. It's like raising your voice at someone who doesn't speak English. Other than that, no hard feelings. And if a girl does enter my life and flip my switch ("That's what she said!"), she's going to have hell of a time getting past my anti-flipping defenses and my zero-tolerance stance on the relationship behaviors you already heard plenty about. If she does make it past all that, she's going to get my admiration and respect. But will be really difficult to pull off? You bet it will!

In the meantime, I got a train to catch.

Only the Sith deal in absolutes...

Well I will rephrase it then. I hope it happens for you and I hope you enjoy it and i hope you get to experience this. It's awesome.

Also, people don't always flip somebodys switch on purpose. It's not done all conniving like " I want this guy" and she tries to make you like her. It is sometimes. I've done it myself. It worked a lot of times but it doesn't feel the same. I've had it done to me too and you can tell a difference. Maybe those were the kind of situations in a way that you were in. They liked you, you wanted to like them so you tried to make yourself. I totally feel you there. I thought I shouldn't ever turn down a date because I didn't think I'd get many chances. I was wrong but I'm also a girl. And I had the badass car lol.

When I met my husband now, I had been divorced from my teenage rebellion halfass marriage to the guy who beat me up every day until I figured out I was bigger, and I had dated quite a few guys. My dance card was very full back then. I was nice looking and had learned how to deal with social stuff fairly well. Not my dazzling wit and seductive charm of today of course, but I could make small talk or listen and follow a conversation and ask questions fairly well then lol. Plus, I liked the topics guys did. Cars, guns, music, drinking, sex. And I knew my way around all of them really well. Well nobody clicked right and the ones I really liked didn't like me that much and the ones who did I wasn't overly wild about. Finally I said f**k it. I'm not looking for a man anymore. I'm playing the field. I'll do just like the guys and enjoy myself.

This is gonna sound like movie s**t and my decision had nothing to do with it, but maybe two weeks later the guy I would really marry walked into the store I worked at and I felt that I really like him feeling and I talked to him and it turned out I liked more than his looks, I enjoyed being around him and talking and just hanging with him. He told me later that he had no intention of any relationship for a long time. I was 21 and he was 22.

I went over and drank and did some blow with him (IT WAS THE 80S!) several times a week and we started out just as flirty hanging buddies who might get busy eventually, maybe, and I tried to steer it casual and so did he. We fell in love despite our best efforts not to.

Also unlike the dates and some of the desperate maneuvers before to get a particular guy to really like me, or because another guy was hot, we were drunk and that's what you do, my husband and I shared a twin bed many a night but did not have sex for six months.

I have no f*****g idea why really except for some reason I put the brakes on because I thought that would ruin this or that I would like him too much or he wouldn't want me anymore once he'd had that. Maybe it was something else, some other instinct, I don't know. I wasn't ever a slut or anything but if I wanted to get laid I did. I sometimes did just out of boredom or wishful thinking or beer goggles or honestly to shut him up because I didn't want to drive home and I'm right there in his bed and I have to work tomorrow. It honest to god was not a big deal to me then because of the group of people I had hing out with and their attitudes about sex, and also my desire to be just as able to screw around with no emotional s**t as guys could. Either way I usually would have jumped that right off cause he was fun and hot. But I slaed on the brakes and nothing further than second base for quite a while. In his bed with him. In his tshirt and my underwear. Can you say restraint?

Contrast this prudish behavior with me hanging out there every night and the hard drinking we did and the way our "dates" were us sitting there talking about the same things that I talked about with my guy friends. That's real mixed signals but I had no clue what I was doing except I was trying to keep it the way it was and enjoy the feelings and closeness and all that intimacy s**t that was about to hit me like a freight train. He was doing some male version of this.

Eventually he had gone to his parents for the weekend and we were only seeing each other and hanging with each other every night exclusively all the time and doing nothing else but never went on a date nor declared it to be anything. So we weren't. Or were we? Either way I was mad at him about something I don't remember and was crying on the phone to him about it, just like I was his girlfriend which in my mind I was trying not to be and I just said "goddammit I can't stand this anymore. I love you". And he said it back. Then we both got real quiet.

He came home Sunday and I went over Monday and it was weird. Half a bottle of Turkey 101 later we weren't self conscious and it all came out. We decided to officially be a couple. But he still didn't get past second base. When I said no he laughed his ass off. He asked how long and I didn't know but I'd let him know. And the next day I went to work with my hair spiked especially high and my rattail sporting the feather Roach clip from his rear view mirror with a paperclip in my ear with his house key hanging off it that I told everyone about happily.

From then on we have been us. We had sex a coupke months later on a weekend morning when we woke up and were laying there waking up. It felt right and I told him.

So you see that's my story of resisting it. Our pasts and situations and wants and goals and all that s**t are different. So maybe it will and maybe it won't. I hope it does cause it's great.