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Why are women so triggered by the friendzone?

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Sweetleaf
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15 Sep 2017, 12:40 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
FunkyPunky wrote:
Barchan wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Why do guys make dumb posts like this?

Nobody (male or female) actively "friendzones" you. Its the other way around. The nonsexual

"just friend" status is the normal common default setting.

Its the rare people who achieve attraction status who are the ones being actively placed into a special "zone".

So if you use the term "friendzone" then you are displaying a crippling lack of common sense and are showing that you think the tail wags the dog.

And further -yes you ARE showing that you are entitled to sex by the mere fact that you use the nonsensical term "friendzone". By definition the term implies that members of the opposite sex are all eager to throw themselves at you, and that they all have to make the conscious decision to not thrown themselves at you. When obviously the opposite is the case.

I know, right? Just look at the language men use to describe the friend zone. They ask for advice on how to "escape" the friend zone. Even the term "friend zone" makes me think of the phantom zone, which is an interdimensional prison Superman sends his worst enemies to. It shows massive levels of entitlement; the friend zoned man suggests that he is being deprived of his "rights". This is high-level misogyny.


This everybody is the perfect example of what I was talking about. As you can observe nowhere in my first post did I say anything that they are claiming I said. The definition of the friendzone is 100% nonoffensive so these two had to lie and put words in people's mouths to make it offensive. Why are they like this? It's one of the great mysteries of the universe. But I suppose the real question isn't why they're offended by the friendzone. It's why they WANT to be offended by it.


Trust me when I say this. The reason for this is when men say anything regarded as women the first thintg women think is I'm not like that or I will never be like that. It's hard for girls to think in the sense they have the full capacity to do something given the circumstances thus when things happen to them it's special and it "felt" right. They are slaves to their feelings because they can't adknowledge they are. BS


So what you're saying is if a woman says they don't fit a generalization a guy makes about women....they are simply in denial? Or am I misunderstanding, I do hope I am misunderstanding...


You are. Women say I would never cheat. I love my partner too much. Then if the desire to cheat happens it must be real because I would never cheat. It's not it's normal for people to feel like cheating and I have to ignore this. It's if I feel this way despite who I am it must be true. I am falling out of love or my patner isn't treating me right.

Best example ever.

WOman walks in kithen with cup. She sees her partner around the corner she gets startled and drops the cup. She says you startled me
BUT she dropped the cup is the point.


Lol this is confusing...you'd appreciate if you got a girlfriend and treat her right you say in another post, then you say stuff like this. How will you appreciate her by telling her she's wrong whenever she expresses something that doesn't fit your narrative/generalizations about how women are? There are guys who say they'd never cheat and end up cheating to...but I suppose if a man cheats his choice is somehow more logical/and objective than if a woman cheats. :roll:

Also I don't see how that example applies...a cup was dropped, startling occured, I'd say the point is its an insignificant incident that both parties can easily laugh off and move on from.


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Sweetleaf
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15 Sep 2017, 12:44 pm

hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


Yup, I believe it is called the startle reflex...lol men cannot control it any better than women.


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15 Sep 2017, 12:49 pm

sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I'd rather be alone. It's stressful enough looking after myself. I can't run round after someone who can't look after themselves.

What? So cause someone isn't as well off as you you'd have to look after them? I think you taking dependent way too literally. I for example can handle myself just fine and pay my part of the bills with government aid. I don't want to be looked after.
Dependent here just means the person makes less then you. It's a tax thing. If a person living with you makes less you can claim them as a dependent which by the way saves you on taxes.


Oh I was taking dependent to mean completely dependent, emotionally and all that. Like if someone has rubbish executive functioning I don't have the energy to keep having to remind them to do basic things that need doing.



hurtloam
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15 Sep 2017, 12:52 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


Yup, I believe it is called the startle reflex...lol men cannot control it any better than women.


Or does he mean that cheating is as innate as the startle reflex?



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15 Sep 2017, 1:08 pm

hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


LOL.

Ok she walks in the kitchen sees him unexpectedly and he startles her. He did not startle her purposely. It is her fault for dropping the cup. That's the point. There is a lack of accountability with women. She dropped the cup it is her fault. For a man this is clear he drops the cup f**k he f****d up. He was startled yes but he should have had better control over his cup. Even if he did if the party did not directly attempt to startle him, he is at fault.


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Sweetleaf
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15 Sep 2017, 1:09 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


Yup, I believe it is called the startle reflex...lol men cannot control it any better than women.


Or does he mean that cheating is as innate as the startle reflex?


I am really not sure where he was trying to go with that to be honest. Lol also don't understand what is so hard about seeing women as individuals for some people on this forum of autistic individuals. Yes there are female stereotypes, yes there are females who fit a lot of them doesn't mean women who don't fit a given stereotype are mythical creatures that don't exist.

But hey if all the stereotypes about women are true for all women and any women who says she doesn't fit a stereotype is in 'denial' I wonder if that means all the stereotypes about men are true and any man claiming differently is in denial as well. I mean sure I will stop complaining when people express this mentality about women, If men here stop complaining and denying they fit generalizations made about men.


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15 Sep 2017, 1:14 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


LOL.

Ok she walks in the kitchen sees him unexpectedly and he startles her. He did not startle her purposely. It is her fault for dropping the cup. That's the point. There is a lack of accountability with women. She dropped the cup it is her fault. For a man this is clear he drops the cup f**k he f****d up. He was startled yes but he should have had better control over his cup. Even if he did if the party did not directly attempt to startle him, he is at fault.


Ok, is this the kind of conversation that your parents would have, where she would go mental at him for just dropping a cup? I'm trying to work out where your ideas are coming from.



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15 Sep 2017, 1:14 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


LOL.

Ok she walks in the kitchen sees him unexpectedly and he startles her. He did not startle her purposely. It is her fault for dropping the cup. That's the point. There is a lack of accountability with women. She dropped the cup it is her fault. For a man this is clear he drops the cup f**k he f****d up. He was startled yes but he should have had better control over his cup. Even if he did if the party did not directly attempt to startle him, he is at fault.


Actually no one is at fault, in this kind of situation.

I don't think you understand how the startle reflex works...


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SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 1:17 pm

If you talk to women frequently online and in real life like I do. You learn this is an issue, statements conversations always go towards feelings or other people being at fault in some way. You know this is how women end up cheating on me. They absolve themselves of guilt subconsciously because it's his fault for not treating them right causing them to feel weak, enough to cheat. Are you following this now?

Please think really hard about this before responding. I have this talk with other girls all the time and first thought is not all women are like that.


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15 Sep 2017, 1:19 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


LOL.

Ok she walks in the kitchen sees him unexpectedly and he startles her. He did not startle her purposely. It is her fault for dropping the cup. That's the point. There is a lack of accountability with women. She dropped the cup it is her fault. For a man this is clear he drops the cup f**k he f****d up. He was startled yes but he should have had better control over his cup. Even if he did if the party did not directly attempt to startle him, he is at fault.


Actually no one is at fault, in this kind of situation.

I don't think you understand how the startle reflex works...


.... if you put men in this situation they f****d up. Every time I ask a girl this it's this answer. I f*****g love how stupidly good this question is versus both sexes.

No you dropped the cup. Sure it was a startle reflex but YOU dropped the cup. No one made you or pushed you to do it you dropped the cup.

You have to pay for the cup you dropped.


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15 Sep 2017, 1:26 pm

Or you can just sweep up the broken pieces, have a good laugh about it, and go on with life.


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15 Sep 2017, 1:32 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
If you talk to women frequently online and in real life like I do. You learn this is an issue, statements conversations always go towards feelings or other people being at fault in some way. You know this is how women end up cheating on me. They absolve themselves of guilt subconsciously because it's his fault for not treating them right causing them to feel weak, enough to cheat. Are you following this now?

Please think really hard about this before responding. I have this talk with other girls all the time and first thought is not all women are like that.



And none of the men on here ever blame women for their actions or what happens to them?

Ok I understand, you are rationalising being cheated on. You have aspergers so like things to be black and white. You wonder how someone can profess love, but then change their mind down the line.

Yes, men and women both will blame the other person if they are the ones that cheat. They like to rationalize their actions. But both men and women do this.

There was a woman who asked a question on here a few months ago. Her boyfriend said that he would love her forever, but he was upset that she would not say the same thing to him (she has aspergers). We tried to explain that he means he feels like he will love her forever and he's conveying that feeling. It's not neccessarily truthful in a stream of time, but it is true now, that is how he feels now. And he was upset that she didn't feel as strongly for him, so strongly that she would use a hyperbole.

People do say how they feel, but they don't know what is coming around the corner. The fact that you've been cheated on and your grandma cheated doesn't mean that all people cheat. Some couples do make it to old age or death without cheating on their spouse.



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15 Sep 2017, 1:34 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


LOL.

Ok she walks in the kitchen sees him unexpectedly and he startles her. He did not startle her purposely. It is her fault for dropping the cup. That's the point. There is a lack of accountability with women. She dropped the cup it is her fault. For a man this is clear he drops the cup f**k he f****d up. He was startled yes but he should have had better control over his cup. Even if he did if the party did not directly attempt to startle him, he is at fault.


Actually no one is at fault, in this kind of situation.

I don't think you understand how the startle reflex works...


.... if you put men in this situation they f****d up. Every time I ask a girl this it's this answer. I f*****g love how stupidly good this question is versus both sexes.

No you dropped the cup. Sure it was a startle reflex but YOU dropped the cup. No one made you or pushed you to do it you dropped the cup.

You have to pay for the cup you dropped.


If a man dropped a cup in that situation than it is NOT his fault, that is what I think.

Also the startle reflex makes you drop the cup, its not another person but it is an uncontrollable internal force. The only way to make someone at fault is if a person purposely startles their partner when they are holding something.


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SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 1:43 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
That's a stupid analogy he did startle her. She wouldn't have dropped the cup if he hadn't been there.

She didn't drop the cup deliberately. She had no control over dropping the cup. It's what happens when you're startled.


Yup, I believe it is called the startle reflex...lol men cannot control it any better than women.


Or does he mean that cheating is as innate as the startle reflex?


I am really not sure where he was trying to go with that to be honest. Lol also don't understand what is so hard about seeing women as individuals for some people on this forum of autistic individuals. Yes there are female stereotypes, yes there are females who fit a lot of them doesn't mean women who don't fit a given stereotype are mythical creatures that don't exist.

But hey if all the stereotypes about women are true for all women and any women who says she doesn't fit a stereotype is in 'denial' I wonder if that means all the stereotypes about men are true and any man claiming differently is in denial as well. I mean sure I will stop complaining when people express this mentality about women, If men here stop complaining and denying they fit generalizations made about men.


....Men cheat all the f*****g time. But when they do they know they f****d up they deal with that gult and the consequences. No one pushed them to cheat, they cheated their fault. It's not about women being genrealized as bad. It's about women having issues with true accountability for their actions, for them being unable to see that they are human and can actually f**k up and it be there fault. Women say I would never cheat, then they cheat and say he made me feel special.

That doesn't matter how he made you feel. Because cheating is wrong and you did it. At some point this clicks when I have these discussions with girls. I know it will too for you.


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15 Sep 2017, 1:46 pm

And this is the divide. If a man drops the cup it's his fault he will pay for it first response. If a female it's not the same. This divide in thinking is the best way to explain it.

You dropped the cup. Yes startle makes YOU drop the cup, yes he played a part in it by being there in person to startle you because you didn't know he was there. But YOU dropped the cup.

This has NOTHING to do with cheating at all. This is about accountability something women struggle with at its core. YOU dropped the cup.


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15 Sep 2017, 1:56 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
And this is the divide. If a man drops the cup it's his fault he will pay for it first response. If a female it's not the same. This divide in thinking is the best way to explain it.

You dropped the cup. Yes startle makes YOU drop the cup, yes he played a part in it by being there in person to startle you because you didn't know he was there. But YOU dropped the cup.

This has NOTHING to do with cheating at all. This is about accountability something women struggle with at its core. YOU dropped the cup.


There are an absolute ton of posts on this forum from men blaming women for how they behave. This forum in itself counters your hypothesis.