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cyberdad
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07 Jun 2019, 1:47 am

Marknis wrote:
He used to both emotionally and physically abuse me even when we were young kids. The girls at school would chase him while I was ignored, even though he would sometimes call the girls "dumb b*****s" or "filthy dirty sluts" even though his relationships were based more on waiting until it was time to have sex instead of romance..


There's a common pattern where a girl dating a male discovers he's a victim of bullying. The victim loses the girl not long after because females unconsciously want males who they perceive can protect them. I've even seen females dump the victim in my school and then date the very same bullies, there's nothing special here....this means your projections aren't that special...your brother isn't special either so please stop obsessing about him....he's one of millions...



magz
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07 Jun 2019, 3:40 am

cyberdad wrote:
There's a common pattern where a girl dating a male discovers he's a victim of bullying. The victim loses the girl not long after because females unconsciously want males who they perceive can protect them.

Almost all the men I know (note that I hang out mostly with nerds) have been severily bullied at some point of their lives - and most of them have stable girlfriends/wives.
Maybe this is the difference between a victim and a survivor - both are deeply scarred but only the victim is defined by their scars.


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cyberdad
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07 Jun 2019, 4:20 am

magz wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
There's a common pattern where a girl dating a male discovers he's a victim of bullying. The victim loses the girl not long after because females unconsciously want males who they perceive can protect them.

Almost all the men I know (note that I hang out mostly with nerds) have been severily bullied at some point of their lives - and most of them have stable girlfriends/wives.
Maybe this is the difference between a victim and a survivor - both are deeply scarred but only the victim is defined by their scars.

Yes I'm sure that's the case, but I was explaining the pattern is not unusual and that Marknis is making it sound like he's the only person to have experienced this (and we both know he's not)



magz
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07 Jun 2019, 4:37 am

cyberdad wrote:
magz wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
There's a common pattern where a girl dating a male discovers he's a victim of bullying. The victim loses the girl not long after because females unconsciously want males who they perceive can protect them.

Almost all the men I know (note that I hang out mostly with nerds) have been severily bullied at some point of their lives - and most of them have stable girlfriends/wives.
Maybe this is the difference between a victim and a survivor - both are deeply scarred but only the victim is defined by their scars.

Yes I'm sure that's the case, but I was explaining the pattern is not unusual and that Marknis is making it sound like he's the only person to have experienced this (and we both know he's not)

Yes, this pattern is not unusual.
In high school.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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07 Jun 2019, 5:25 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
It’s just not right to think that ALL women want this perfect guy.

I’ve known some people who seemed to have a lot going against them and many of them were still in relationships.

It's not about thinkIng that ALL women want the same guy, or that there's no room for imperfections, but there are definitely traits that are predictors for success in this area, where their inverse do the opposite. Whether or not those traits are important to you specifically as an individual is another matter.

[color=firebrick]Not all women want the same thing, but if there were women who were interested in what Marknis currently has to offer, we wouldn't be having this conversation, because Marknis would be able to find a partner. When you can't attract a partner, the most logical course of action is to work on improving yourself in such a way that you become more attractive to most members of the opposite sex.

Are you going to deny that having a stable job and being independent are more attractive qualities to the vast majority of women than working a part-time unskilled job and living at home at 30? The latter limits the dating pool because many women find those to be unattractive qualities, while with the former, almost no woman will turn you down for those things. The few women who would accept a man who lives at home and works an unskilled part time job at 30 would generally also accept a man who lives independently with a more stable job, but many women who are looking for an independent man with a stable job won't accept someone in Marknis' situation. Same principle applies to being overweight. So by improving his situation, he only stands to increase his dating prospects, in fact it's probably the most proactive way he can do so.

I understand where you're coming from if what I'm saying aren't deal-breakers for you, but for many they are, and I don't accept that Marknis has dated as little as he has all because he has really, really bad luck. If not for the reasons I've outlined (And the men here seem to recognise as valid, and they'd probably know better since straight women don't have experience trying to date women), then why would Marknis have failed with dating as much as he has thus far, and what would you propose as the solution?

Meeting people? He's already tried it. Online dating? He's given that a go too.

Do you really think if Marknis was even average in that he was an average weight, had an average job, moved out of home into an average house that he'd be in the same situation? Because I highly doubt it.



kraftiekortie
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07 Jun 2019, 5:50 am

Full time at the library, maybe?

I don’t think of library jobs as being “unskilled.”



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Jun 2019, 5:51 am

^ She will deny it.



The Grand Inquisitor
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07 Jun 2019, 6:08 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Full time at the library, maybe?

I don’t think of library jobs as being “unskilled.”

When I say unskilled, I mean entry level with no room for upward mobility, though if he could support himself doing that full time it would be a step in the right direction.



Last edited by The Grand Inquisitor on 07 Jun 2019, 6:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

cyberdad
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07 Jun 2019, 6:29 am

Library jobs are becoming redundant. eBooks will replace paper based books.



cyberdad
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07 Jun 2019, 6:35 am

So the law of averages state that a a low-self-esteem, overweight, unnattractive, low paid man living with his mother is unlikely to attract a lot of women even when they make some effort (I realise some of you here are trying to boost Marknis's self-esteem by saying you know "plenty" of average men who are successful with the ladies and he's not buying it and frankly neither am I).

Somebody needs to be first motivated to take that first steps to change their opportunities and I don't think Marknis has showed any evidence for the last few years (I've read his whining) that he's ready to take that first step (in mental terms).



SaveFerris
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07 Jun 2019, 7:51 am

^

Please explain to me your thinking in adding "( I've read his whining )" to your post , what purpose do you think it served apart from belittling the OP.

Stop being a toxic f**k like other members , it doesn't suit you.


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QuantumChemist
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07 Jun 2019, 8:05 am

cyberdad wrote:
Library jobs are becoming redundant. eBooks will replace paper based books.


Your statement is not quite right. Libraries will always exist, but there may be fewer of the physical book ones in the future. I say this because there is some information that you will never see on the internet (or in ebooks), so one will have to find it at a real library if one needs it.

I witnessed a head librarian purge books to make room for computers to replace them. The books went into a trash dumpster where I recovered them for my own personal collection. I asked for permission to remove the science books out of there. That is how I got two full shelves of nuclear engineering reference books, some of the ones you cannot find on the internet for obvious reasons. The librarian eventually lost his job when his superiors found out what he did to the library collection.



kraftiekortie
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07 Jun 2019, 8:13 am

It’s a fact that I’ve seen even “neckbeard” sorts of guys linked romantically with pretty women.

Marknis is not in an easy situation.

It would serve him well to get a college education. At least pursue it. Community college carries no stigma.

And to work full-time. And to get out of his mother’s clutches. And to converse about things which have nothing to do with his situation.



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07 Jun 2019, 8:19 am

Both Cyberdad and KraftieKortie are being truthful -- they're only repeating what many others have been saying for over three years -- one is just being more blunt than the other.



kraftiekortie
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07 Jun 2019, 8:22 am

You gotta start somewhere, Marknis.

Even if your drawings aren’t good now, they can become good through practice.

Not everybody is a Michelangelo at the start.

George Harrison sucked at the guitar when he started. He didn’t have a natural ability in it. He practiced hard, got many callouses, and became good.



SaveFerris
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07 Jun 2019, 8:26 am

Fnord wrote:
Both Cyberdad and KraftieKortie are being truthful -- they're only repeating what many others have been saying for over three years -- one is just being more blunt than the other.


Knowing how the OP feels about you , what do you think your posts are achieving ?


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