Just avoiding the subject here.

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Perhaps I'm too independent to see that.

There's no reconciling female energy here.

as was i. i still am independent but now i can grok it. i believe you are headed to understanding, also.

I'm not inclined to limit myself to my own understanding.

a positive note, that.

It's not even really a rational option for me to do anything else. I isolate way too much & that's no good for anybody. Without feminine thoughts intersecting with my own I'm basically a one trick pony. As a guy I just live around technology more than people lately.

Realistically I'm probably permanently abandoned by anyone who found ways of helping me with this. Getting back in touch in the right ways may be impossible.

I'm nothing but ashamed of ASD & I can't help feeling that I still haven't explained myself to them adequately.

I'm completely lost. . Maybe they'll read this someday & make sense of me.

i can tell you from my own experience that when you have made plans, life happens despite your plans.

Hopefully that applies to this bonkers plan of Galapagos levels of isolation I had given all this thought to.

Impatience and impulsivity are a problem of mine.
Sometimes I will hang out with a friend, and I find myself rambling just to fill the air with words. My speech can sometimes be superfluous. It annoys me and I always feel stupid when I think later about how much I talked but said very little. I'm working on that. But I suppose sometimes people don't mind. I think we just need to get out of our own heads, you know? We're there too much.

I don't think there's anything about ASD that's not somehow been a problem on my part, though ironically now it almost seems advantageous.

Maybe some part of my nonstop social missteps could be enduring; I'd be the last to know. It's time to get on my bike & pop some wheelies for the WHO. I'm glad for the relative stay-cation but not for the world & I'm afraid people are content to leave me stuck in my own head.

I want to work out how I can be a more affectionate person when this dust settles. It's part of my character but not my persona.

The questions I posed for myself here are part of the ultimate question of whether I ever stood a chance on Earth at all now.

I'm just on my apocalypse beer run now. Wish me luck & here's wishing good health for everyone who helped me get this far.

I kind of just had a work meeting go that way. I don't really know what to think anymore about how much ASD has walled me off, I want to fix it all at once but of course that's pretty stupid on my part. It's going to take my friends & I somehow helping each other when the quarantine winds down but of course I don't know when or how anymore.

There's a case in my town now.

Last edited by cberg on 20 Mar 2020, 9:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm in Kansas City and I work at a hospital... We've had several. Sigh.

Of course I can't work from home mostly (I can once a week or so) and I'm on edge.

I had a two hour phone conference today and I just about died, I swear.

Good luck & eHugs then.

I'm just rambling in here, hopefully it hasn't troubled you as well.

It would be inconsiderate of me not to ramble about this somewhere legible anyway but I hope it's all in the interest of making some part of everyone's lives easier.

This is your thread, you are troubling exactly no one! Carry on! (:

Hi cberg, stop overthinking and dare more towards people. It's just try and error for many of us but you'll improve after a while. You have to realize that your mood and behaviour influences the way that people are towards you - men and women. Some of us need to become a different way. And you should try to improve at reading people. Just ask yourself why someone you are looking at acts like he does. It's just learning by doing but after a while you'll get a lot of it. I started with that two years ago and I am a lot better at this now. Many NTs restrict themself a lot for fitting the social rules. Don't try to adapt to much. People like the ones who are different and less self-restricting a lot more because they are much less boring too.