nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
29 Feb 2020, 12:28 pm
29 Feb 2020, 1:28 pm
29 Feb 2020, 4:52 pm
Fnord wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
If you see "misandry" report it.
There it is!! ^^^
very astute...... your a quick one Fnord........ looolz
29 Feb 2020, 9:55 pm
draconis.lignum wrote:
cberg wrote:
For what it's worth, all autistic people really want (from a guy's standpoint at least) is to be accepted enough to spend more time comfortably with people we care for.
Most of us aren't averse to making changes to make that happen but it seems like everyone is focused on ways we all have to conform instead of deviating from the norm whatsoever in order to be closer to people.
I like being clean, presentable & agreeable to women in any way I can. I work full time to make that happen & it takes all the energy I might ever use to keep in touch with anyone. I really wish I could find time for women in my life to talk about these things with me & I would value that tremendously. I get the vibe that's not about to happen. No one is open about ASD struggles in my personal life.
I don't think OP means any offense but accomplishing all this on a daily basis can be painfully exhausting for people with ASD. From what women are writing here it's difficult to see why I shouldn't give up. It's simply pointless to fight human nature. Perhaps it's good advice & I know I've been following it for years, I only feel more alone now than ever though.
Most of us aren't averse to making changes to make that happen but it seems like everyone is focused on ways we all have to conform instead of deviating from the norm whatsoever in order to be closer to people.
I like being clean, presentable & agreeable to women in any way I can. I work full time to make that happen & it takes all the energy I might ever use to keep in touch with anyone. I really wish I could find time for women in my life to talk about these things with me & I would value that tremendously. I get the vibe that's not about to happen. No one is open about ASD struggles in my personal life.
I don't think OP means any offense but accomplishing all this on a daily basis can be painfully exhausting for people with ASD. From what women are writing here it's difficult to see why I shouldn't give up. It's simply pointless to fight human nature. Perhaps it's good advice & I know I've been following it for years, I only feel more alone now than ever though.
cberg, is your feeling alone now related to not having the time for women in your life and talk with them?
That's most of my trouble in a nutshell to be sure.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
29 Feb 2020, 10:11 pm
Mona Pereth wrote:
quite an extreme wrote:
The big problem with ASD is to get body language and expectations of women right just because it's a nonverbal and emotional thing. For people with Aspergers it's very important to learn eye contact. It's an advantage if you get people emotionally right if you do it. One thing that you should be aware of with NTs is it that they sense your feelings and like or dislike you just because of the way that you are. For this you need to care about your body language. You don't need to blend in but you have to be at least a positive way. That means not being a depressive, very unsure or self-doubting way or afraid of the people around. Otherwise you'll face a negative prejudice in general.
Well, people are naturally going to be "depressive, very unsure or self-doubting" when in social situations that are stacked against them. Trying to force themselves not to be is just going to look phony, it seems to me.
That's why (in my opinion) we need to figure out how to build new subcultures that will work in our favor for a change. Only then can more of us be comfortable and confident.
It seems like we need to build sub-cultural relationships rather than always fixating on acting 'normal'. It doesn't strike me as the toughest subculture one could build.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
29 Feb 2020, 10:30 pm
