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Why Some People Wind Up Becoming 30 Year Old Virgins

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cyberdad
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06 Jul 2022, 8:03 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
SkinnedWolf wrote:
So how does this relate to "for men"?


men and/or other genders


Which is to say 'people', which would have avoided the issue from the get-go.


ok...point taken...I mean't people



funeralxempire
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06 Jul 2022, 8:10 pm

ironpony wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Oh I apologize, I did not mean to offend anyone.


The bigger issue is that it's a topic that's been done to death and debunked both from the perspective of how it plays out on the individual level but also why it's inherently insulting, given that former part.

Certain lines of reasoning/topics/takes get shut down immediately with no further discussion because they've been settled long ago and don't need readdressed over and over again unless some sort of drastic changes establish themselves.

It's worse when those incorrect statements are made as though they're commonsense facts, in the past not shutting them down led to posters getting piledriven with responses picking their statement apart and topics would get hijacked. It puts mods in a position of having to euthanize the thread before the terminal disease progresses.


Oh you mean the topic about how it's easier for women to get sex compared to men? Sorry about that, I was just trying to make a certain point on a certain part of the topic. I will try to stay on topic.


Yes, it's an untrue opinion and claiming it hurts people who by denying their struggles (that's one reason why it's offensive) and also disrupts discussions.

Claiming it reinforces the feelings that many women who have or have had struggles in that regard express about being more broadly erased or invisible, socially speaking. At least that would be my guess from having lurked in places where such discussions occur.


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ironpony
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06 Jul 2022, 8:46 pm

Oh I'm sorry about that. I was mostly going by women I know, compared to guys I know and thought a lot of women must have an easier time based on the evidence I see. But I apologize if I was assuming wrong. I don't want to be ignorant of anyone's struggles.



cyberdad
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06 Jul 2022, 9:51 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh I'm sorry about that. I was mostly going by women I know, compared to guys I know and thought a lot of women must have an easier time based on the evidence I see. But I apologize if I was assuming wrong. I don't want to be ignorant of anyone's struggles.


I think context is important rather than generalisations....that's the take home message



ironpony
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06 Jul 2022, 9:53 pm

But if this is the case, then why do a lot of guys complaining about being virgins as a problem as opposed to women?



funeralxempire
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06 Jul 2022, 9:55 pm

ironpony wrote:
But if this is the case, then why do a lot of guys complaining about being virgins as a problem as opposed to women?



Let's say I start chopping people's right legs off. (I mean, why not?)
Let's say before I'm stopped I've cut the legs off of 75 women and 225 men.

Did the women individually suffer less severely than the men because there were fewer of them? :scratch:


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If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


ironpony
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06 Jul 2022, 9:58 pm

Oh yes, both sides suffer for sure, but I was just pointing out that one side seems to be suffering more in numbers compared to the other.



funeralxempire
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06 Jul 2022, 10:05 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh yes, both sides suffer for sure, but I was just pointing out that one side seems to be suffering more in numbers compared to the other.


One side is also much louder and more vocal, which probably helps bias perceptions.

I'm not saying that there aren't more men in that boat but instead that the men in that boat don't even notice the women sharing their company, refuse to acknowledge them, insist on invalidating them etc, and then they loudly complain that the boat is filled entirely with men.

All of that pattern of behaviour contributes to the perception you describe, but also probably the difficulties since who would want to get to know someone who treats them in that way? Further, it's what drives that erasure I described earlier, at least in those communities.


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If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


ironpony
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06 Jul 2022, 10:12 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Oh yes, both sides suffer for sure, but I was just pointing out that one side seems to be suffering more in numbers compared to the other.


One side is also much louder and more vocal, which probably helps bias perceptions.

I'm not saying that there aren't more men in that boat but instead that the men in that boat don't even notice the women sharing their company, refuse to acknowledge them, insist on invalidating them etc, and then they loudly complain that the boat is filled entirely with men.

All of that pattern of behaviour contributes to the perception you describe, but also probably the difficulties since who would want to get to know someone who treats them in that way? Further, it's what drives that erasure I described earlier, at least in those communities.


Oh I see. But when you said erasure before, you mean the erasure of adult women virgins? If men are more vocal about it than women though, why aren't women more vocal about it?



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07 Jul 2022, 12:32 am

i think the implication is that some women ARE being vocal about it but they are not being heard amidst the din.



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07 Jul 2022, 12:50 am

Oh okay, and that is totally fair. But why would men not want to have sex with women, when they themselves to talk about how they cannot get women? Is this a case of beggars cannot be choosers?



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07 Jul 2022, 1:05 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay, and that is totally fair. But why would men not want to have sex with women, when they themselves to talk about how they cannot get women? Is this a case of beggars cannot be choosers?

it is unfortunately a darwinian thing where the males are trying to pair their genes with only the best female genes, and the females are aiming for only the best male genes, they are working at cross-purposes.



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07 Jul 2022, 1:06 am

Oh okay, but I what about the notion that guys will screw anything, unless most guys will not and that is just not true?



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07 Jul 2022, 1:29 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay, but I what about the notion that guys will screw anything, unless most guys will not and that is just not true?

SOME will screw anything, MOST will not.



ironpony
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07 Jul 2022, 1:50 am

Oh okay, I did not know that, especially since a good amount of autistic guys talk about how difficult it is to get sex. Plus when some talk about how they sought out prostitutes, I thought then a good amount of guys will screw anything,s since I find prostitutes to not be as attractive, at least the ones where I live...



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07 Jul 2022, 2:36 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh okay, I did not know that, especially since a good amount of autistic guys talk about how difficult it is to get sex. Plus when some talk about how they sought out prostitutes, I thought then a good amount of guys will screw anything,s since I find prostitutes to not be as attractive, at least the ones where I live...

i would guess a majority of incels simply lack social intelligence, that more than anything else prevents them from meeting other people in general.