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How To Get A Girlfriend If You're An Autistic Man

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Nades
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27 Jan 2023, 3:51 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
Nades wrote:

Lets keep in mind our dire life expectancy and the very limited pathways we can take to "achieve" it.

It's literally like 60 years.



I don't know if the life expectancy of 60 is entirely accurate.

You have to remember that before the 90s, autism was still seen as a lower functioning condition and if you were diagnosed back then, you most likely had it fairly significantly. So this likely skews the results a bit.


High functioning autism wasn't actively diagnosed until the 2000s, and people that grew up in the 00s are only in their twenties and thirties today. We're not going to see how high functioning autism impacts life expectancy until 50 years from now when the 2000s kids become seniors.


I heard it's about 40 for low functioning autistics.

I actually believe both life expectancies. The state of both male and female autistics is dubious. A typical heart attack by 60.....yip, it seems realistic.



kraftiekortie
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27 Jan 2023, 3:53 pm

It might be an average of 60 for “low-functioning” autism.



kraftiekortie
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27 Jan 2023, 3:56 pm

I’m not going to live my life based upon an alleged “life expectancy.”

I believe I’m going to live at least till my late 80s—like my mother, father, and grandmother and grandfather. My father died the earliest at age 86.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 27 Jan 2023, 4:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IsabellaLinton
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27 Jan 2023, 3:56 pm

Nades wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Nades wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
looks seem to be the case with me


I'm sorry to hear that.


Why? She probably looks looks good and takes care of herself.


Lol and I don't? :?:

She's already discussed being manipulated and exploited by people for her looks.
She was horribly abused.
In my opinion it's a shame if that's still the main way she's judged by men.


Why did you infer her short comment had negative connotations exactly? People get exploited whether they're good looking or not.



Because I read people's posts, remember them, and have empathy for what they've written?
Or is that not expected here?

She's written many times about being abused because of her looks.

Regardless I'm allowed a personal opinion on anything people say, last I checked.


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Highlander852456
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27 Jan 2023, 3:57 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Highlander852456 wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
It's not true for me.
I don't even look at people so I have no interest in their "looks".
How do looks help a relationship, exactly?


Lets cut the crap, here.
Looks matter.



I'm not cutting the crap because it's my own opinion FOR ME.
That's why I said "It's not true FOR ME".

I'm referring to the person's inherent looks, like their nose or their physique.
I really don't care.
Clean clothes and all that matters to me, but that's not part of the person.
Hygiene matters to me, but that's not part of the person and it can change.

I dated a homeless man for seven years (ffs), when I owned a house.
Please don't set my standards for me.

Sure, someone who is my version of "great looking" might be nice.
I'd much rather have a partner who's not an a***hole or egomaniac.

Try not speaking for people with PTSD from bad people.
Try having empathy.
You'll find that looks are the least of our concerns at this point.


Yeah OK.

I do think there is always people who care lot less about looks.
I did not mean to dismiss your own point of view so sorry, about that.
But my experience observing people tells me looks do matter a lot more, despite hearing what people often say.
I tend to look rather than listen when it comes to behavior.
However generally I mean to say that if we apply this people overall attraction is probably a lot more important.



Nades
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27 Jan 2023, 3:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It might be an average of 60 for “low-functioning” autism.


Apparently it's abut 40 for low functioning and 60 for higher functioning.

While it probably hasn;t been researched to a decent extent, I believe it. The state of a lot of autistics I see is dreadful.

The last one I seen smelled of cheese, was drunk, was going around the pub asking for more beer and had to be encouraged out the pub by the bar tender.

I would say about 75% seem to have serious (or soon to be) health problems. Morbid obesity being the biggest problem.



Nades
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27 Jan 2023, 3:59 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Because I read people's posts, remember them, and have empathy for what they've written?
Or is that not expected here?

She's written many times about being abused because of her looks.

Regardless I'm allowed a personal opinion on anything people say, last I checked.


Someone being attractive and actual abuse are two completely different things. Why are you even mentioning this for anyway without her permission?



kraftiekortie
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27 Jan 2023, 4:00 pm

This is true for many non-autistic people, too. Especially people who don’t have a high standard of living.

I’ve seen many autistic people. Not many are especially obese. Some are very thin, because they are very active.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 27 Jan 2023, 4:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IsabellaLinton
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27 Jan 2023, 4:03 pm

Highlander852456 wrote:
.
However generally I mean to say that if we apply this people overall attraction is probably a lot more important.


Yeah, OK ... But whether that's true or not, most of us can't change our looks without plastic surgery.
I don't think it's particularly helpful when men keep telling other men they likely aren't attractive.
How does that help other men to feel more confident, or to be good people?

A haircut or a year at the gym isn't going to change most people's looks very much.

Losing weight for personal reasons? Great.
Building muscle because it's an interest? Great.
Suggesting that women are speaking "crap" when they're interested in personalities?
Total crap.


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Nades
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27 Jan 2023, 4:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
This is true for many non-autistic people, too. Especially people who don’t have a high standard of living.


But more so for autistics it seems.

What's the aversion people have here for taking a baseline of norms and comparing ourselves to them and being critical of ourselves if we have short fallings that we can address with relative ease?

"Well, while 99% of us are really fat....10% of those are really fat so see, we're perfectly fine and very similar to that group"

Ummmm. No.



kraftiekortie
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27 Jan 2023, 4:07 pm

I’ve never seen obesity associated with autism, especially.



IsabellaLinton
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27 Jan 2023, 4:08 pm

Nades wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:

Because I read people's posts, remember them, and have empathy for what they've written?
Or is that not expected here?

She's written many times about being abused because of her looks.

Regardless I'm allowed a personal opinion on anything people say, last I checked.


Someone being attractive and actual abuse are two completely different things. Why are you even mentioning this for anyway without her permission?



It's called an opinion.
Why are you saying women only care about looks without my permission?


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Nades
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27 Jan 2023, 4:09 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Highlander852456 wrote:
.
However generally I mean to say that if we apply this people overall attraction is probably a lot more important.


Yeah, OK ... But whether that's true or not, most of us can't change our looks without plastic surgery.
I don't think it's particularly helpful when men keep telling other men they likely aren't attractive.
How does that help other men to feel more confident, or to be good people?

A haircut or a year at the gym isn't going to change most people's looks very much.

Losing weight for personal reasons? Great.
Building muscle because it's an interest? Great.


There's more to looks than just a face and a year can actually make a big difference.

Noob gains for the win.

Telling men what they can improve on also helps a lot rather than just telling them they look good, even though they can lose like 100 pounds by minimal exercise and reducing portions by 25%.



Last edited by Nades on 27 Jan 2023, 4:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Nades
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27 Jan 2023, 4:10 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Nades wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:

Because I read people's posts, remember them, and have empathy for what they've written?
Or is that not expected here?

She's written many times about being abused because of her looks.

Regardless I'm allowed a personal opinion on anything people say, last I checked.


Someone being attractive and actual abuse are two completely different things. Why are you even mentioning this for anyway without her permission?



It's called an opinion.
Why are you saying women only care about looks without my permission?


I need your permission to comment on what other women seem to find attractive?

Huh?



IsabellaLinton
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27 Jan 2023, 4:16 pm

Looks, in my opinion, include:

- Size and shape of their head and jawline
- Their nose shape
- If their eyes are deep-set
- Hair colour and hairline
- Mouth (lips)
- Height as it pertains to proportion (long arms etc)
- Gait and movement

None of this can be changed in a gym unless you want to talk about weight loss, but that's not going to change a person's nose or lips or hair colour. Most men don't dye their hair and nor would I want them to.

I think we just have different interpretations of what "looks" means. I think it means all the invariables that we're born with.

Sure it's nice to lose a little weight or keep your hair nice but I don't think of that as "looks" in the same way that you might. Those are temporary and able to change or fluctuate.

Anyway none of this is meant to be an argument. All I wanted to do is reassure men who might be insecure about their "looks", or feel uncomfortable going to a gym, that there are women out there who will judge them for other qualities.


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IsabellaLinton
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27 Jan 2023, 4:16 pm

Nades wrote:

I need your permission to comment on what other women seem to find attractive?

Huh?



Oh good grief I was being ironic, because that's what you said to me.
Chill.


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