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Might autistic women not be the best match for autistic men?

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Mikurotoro92
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01 Jun 2024, 12:55 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
I am in my early 30's and FINALLY found someone so there's still hope for you and others too!! !

Don't give up and trust the process!

The process is working for you even if it doesn't seem that way

Also, it is NEVER too late to find love

My friend and neighbor Glenn first got married at 39 years old then remarried in his 50's or 60's


i assume you had boyfriends in your 20s, but yes, its normal or common for many people to regard not having had your first relationship in your young formative years as a serious loss that can never be recovered. Nature can feel like an injustice that more men than women remain chronically alone like that


Actually no

Most of my boyfriends were in my teen years!



blitzkrieg
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01 Jun 2024, 3:04 pm

I'm not sure if anyone has said this already Mikurotoro, but, congratulations on losing your virginity.



WantToHaveALife
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01 Jun 2024, 3:35 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
I am in my early 30's and FINALLY found someone so there's still hope for you and others too!! !

Don't give up and trust the process!

The process is working for you even if it doesn't seem that way

Also, it is NEVER too late to find love

My friend and neighbor Glenn first got married at 39 years old then remarried in his 50's or 60's


i assume you had boyfriends in your 20s, but yes, its normal or common for many people to regard not having had your first relationship in your young formative years as a serious loss that can never be recovered. Nature can feel like an injustice that more men than women remain chronically alone like that


Actually no

Most of my boyfriends were in my teen years!


reminds me of a comment on a blog post by dr. nerdlove that only added fuel to fire



Mikurotoro92
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01 Jun 2024, 5:09 pm

Well, everyone has a different time-line for when major milestones and events happen in their life

I am just now beginning to working on my goal of getting married!

I had no interest in dating or getting married in my 20's because that time was used for self-discovery and finding out who I am

Also my mom had a stroke which REALLY pushed back my love life



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01 Jun 2024, 11:41 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Well, everyone has a different time-line for when major milestones and events happen in their life

I am just now beginning to working on my goal of getting married!

I had no interest in dating or getting married in my 20's because that time was used for self-discovery and finding out who I am

Also my mom had a stroke which REALLY pushed back my love life


and you are saying, you are a woman who never became sexually active until her early 30s? yeah, the last woman i kinda dated, whom i feel reluctant to call an ex-girlfriend, the way we were incompatible with each other sexually, only added fuel to fire in my my history of doing poorly with women, when i met her, i thought we were a good match for each other, however, unfortuneately, not sexually though.



Mikurotoro92
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02 Jun 2024, 1:09 am

I was scared of sex and intimacy mostly because of pain from penetration & childbirth which is why I waited so long to have sex

Now I realize...Sex is fun!! !

I wanna do ALL of it

The foreplay, the penetration, the orgasms, the pleasure, the different positions etc...



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02 Jun 2024, 10:17 am

This thread seems to be going into weird directions perhaps ? 8O ? but idk how to describe it ..


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WantToHaveALife
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02 Jun 2024, 7:41 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
I was scared of sex and intimacy mostly because of pain from penetration & childbirth which is why I waited so long to have sex

Now I realize...Sex is fun!! !

I wanna do ALL of it

The foreplay, the penetration, the orgasms, the pleasure, the different positions etc...


makes me even more mad and angry regarding my last partner, i wonder why there are people out there who are still willing to kiss and cuddle, make out with the other person, but not do anything else further, why they still desire a relationship without the rest i mentioned, just doesn't feel like a normal natural human being.



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02 Jun 2024, 7:52 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
I was scared of sex and intimacy mostly because of pain from penetration & childbirth which is why I waited so long to have sex

Now I realize...Sex is fun!! !

I wanna do ALL of it

The foreplay, the penetration, the orgasms, the pleasure, the different positions etc...


makes me even more mad and angry regarding my last partner, i wonder why there are people out there who are still willing to kiss and cuddle, make out with the other person, but not do anything else further, why they still desire a relationship without the rest i mentioned, just doesn't feel like a normal natural human being.


I think desiring affection is pretty normal, even for people with no sex drive or hang-ups around sex.


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MaxE
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03 Jun 2024, 6:26 am

Jakki wrote:
This thread seems to be going into weird directions perhaps ? 8O ? but idk how to describe it ..

Nah.

Sara is good people. I don't recall whether I stated this earlier, but a high percentage of autistic women have diminished or no sexual or romantic attraction to men due to being either gay or mostly so, or on the asexuality spectrum. However, those who don't fall into that category tend to have a particularly practical approach to sex. Many will seek sex with a man for its own sake. I now believe my first girlfriend was autistic and she was a good first sex partner for me, but in retrospect, had we gotten married, I don't think the marriage would have lasted, largely due to her being sexually unfulfilled with me as a partner. Likewise my other autistic girlfriend was polyamorous, but fortunately had genuine feelings for me, nevertheless sex could have eventually become an issue down the road.

I don't know if Sara's boyfriend is autistic. I would like to know, but no matter how much she may love him, she has often stated a desire for sex as part of her reason for wanting romance, which could be considered an autistic way of looking at it.


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03 Jun 2024, 8:13 am

Autistic women, like NT women and humans in general, have a wide array of thoughts, tastes, and preferences when it comes to sex. Many don't fall neatly into a specific category.


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03 Jun 2024, 8:19 am

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
I was scared of sex and intimacy mostly because of pain from penetration & childbirth which is why I waited so long to have sex

Now I realize...Sex is fun!! !

I wanna do ALL of it

The foreplay, the penetration, the orgasms, the pleasure, the different positions etc...


makes me even more mad and angry regarding my last partner, i wonder why there are people out there who are still willing to kiss and cuddle, make out with the other person, but not do anything else further, why they still desire a relationship without the rest i mentioned, just doesn't feel like a normal natural human being.


I think desiring affection is pretty normal, even for people with no sex drive or hang-ups around sex.


Definitely.

A person can be asexual, and at the same time, strongly desire affection from others.

I imagine that kind of psyche would be described as asexual-romantic or something like that.



Mikurotoro92
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03 Jun 2024, 11:02 am

MaxE wrote:
Jakki wrote:
This thread seems to be going into weird directions perhaps ? 8O ? but idk how to describe it ..

Nah.

Sara is good people. I don't recall whether I stated this earlier, but a high percentage of autistic women have diminished or no sexual or romantic attraction to men due to being either gay or mostly so, or on the asexuality spectrum. However, those who don't fall into that category tend to have a particularly practical approach to sex. Many will seek sex with a man for its own sake. I now believe my first girlfriend was autistic and she was a good first sex partner for me, but in retrospect, had we gotten married, I don't think the marriage would have lasted, largely due to her being sexually unfulfilled with me as a partner. Likewise my other autistic girlfriend was polyamorous, but fortunately had genuine feelings for me, nevertheless sex could have eventually become an issue down the road.

I don't know if Sara's boyfriend is autistic. I would like to know, but no matter how much she may love him, she has often stated a desire for sex as part of her reason for wanting romance, which could be considered an autistic way of looking at it.


David is not Autistic but he does have a disability

He has either Muscular Dystrophy or Multiple Sclerosis



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03 Jun 2024, 12:51 pm

Maybe a keeper...? :D :nerdy: .......but put in the time to know him, if he is going to be a regular thing in your life.
Not in favour of having flings anymore ..but if both parties are aware.. Then enjoy .. :heart:


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03 Jun 2024, 2:24 pm

MaxE wrote:

I don't recall whether I stated this earlier, but a high percentage of autistic women have diminished or no sexual or romantic attraction to men due to being either gay or mostly so, or on the asexuality spectrum. However, those who don't fall into that category tend to have a particularly practical approach to sex.



Um, what?
Are you saying autistic women can't love men?


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03 Jun 2024, 4:59 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
MaxE wrote:

I don't recall whether I stated this earlier, but a high percentage of autistic women have diminished or no sexual or romantic attraction to men due to being either gay or mostly so, or on the asexuality spectrum. However, those who don't fall into that category tend to have a particularly practical approach to sex.



Um, what?
Are you saying autistic women can't love men?

This wasn't about love. It was about sex specifically. Many queer women have little or no desire for sex with men. Autistic or otherwise. As for whether autistic women are any more likely to match that description, I wouldn't know. But I've seen supposed expert content that claims this to be a thing.

TBH it's not an insult to say that any particular woman isn't sexually attracted to men, or vice versa, for that matter. I would also cheerfully accept any convincing data that shows there is no correlation between autism and being queer.


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