Why are women on dating sites such hippocrites

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LVBen
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18 Jan 2008, 5:36 pm

Topher wrote:

On the contrary. I have appreciated Bens advice. I need to work on my self-confidence.

Confidence is definitely important. I doubt that there is any reputable dating advice in the world that says the opposite.

MikeInVa
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18 Jan 2008, 7:30 pm

LVBen wrote:

Topher wrote:

On the contrary. I have appreciated Bens advice. I need to work on my self-confidence.

Confidence is definitely important. I doubt that there is any reputable dating advice in the world that says the opposite.

Persistance is also key.

Topher
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18 Jan 2008, 7:37 pm

MikeInVa wrote:

LVBen wrote:

Topher wrote:

On the contrary. I have appreciated Bens advice. I need to work on my self-confidence.

Confidence is definitely important. I doubt that there is any reputable dating advice in the world that says the opposite.

Persistance is also key.

Presistance I have, I just seriously lack self-confidence and am nervous about approaching others in person. I did that topic in The Haven you may all have seen. I'm just worried about trust.

Dokken
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18 Jan 2008, 8:41 pm

Topher wrote:

MikeInVa wrote:

LVBen wrote:

Topher wrote:

On the contrary. I have appreciated Bens advice. I need to work on my self-confidence.

Confidence is definitely important. I doubt that there is any reputable dating advice in the world that says the opposite.

Persistance is also key.

Presistance I have, I just seriously lack self-confidence and am nervous about approaching others in person. I did that topic in The Haven you may all have seen. I'm just worried about trust.

I agree, confidence you need to have, which I sort of have. I'm bad at approaching people in person, I never know what to say or I plan it out ahead of time. Then when it comes to the moment, it never goes as planned and I look foolish. Plus, I get all nervous and stuff and assume I will get rejected.

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Dokken
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18 Jan 2008, 8:46 pm

MikeInVa wrote:

Dokken wrote:

MikeInVa wrote:

Well I sent another message to the girl I've been in communication with this afternoon & still no response....does anyone think that the lack of a response may indicate an unwillingness on her part to continue the conversation?

No, she may not of even checked her messages yet.

I dunno,in the beginning she'd respond almost every day & now nothing.Also POF let's you know on your page when you login if the person has read the mail you sent them & according to what my page says she did in fact read it.

I'll login & check sometime today to see wether or not she read my message sent last night,if I get no response then my guess is that I'm back to square one again.

You should ask if they have AIM or any of those other messengers, that's what I do. It's much easier than playing message tag. Also, you could send messages to multiple girls, if you don't already do that.

Ya, on POF you can tell when they were online and all this other crazy stuff. You can even check to see who viewed you. So, I wouldn't view the girl profile over and over on the same day. It may freak her out.

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juliekitty
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18 Jan 2008, 8:47 pm

Dokken wrote:

You can even check to see who viewed you.

You can change your "mail settings" so that people can't tell if you viewed them.

Who_Am_I
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19 Jan 2008, 1:17 am

catspurr wrote:

Okay, I will elaborate as to why Ben should not be single.

He's attractive, he knows that spending too much money on a date makes someone seem like a try hard and desperate and you cannot trust that you will even see that person again, he seems to agree with equality and having common interests.

Some of you guys that just sit here and bash women and treat them like unintelligent sub species, well duh...it's no wonder why you are single.

Some of you obsess over looks and claim that's all women care about but then you talk about the hot women you can't have. You also have a skewed perception that females are too dumb to play video games.

I would not date a guy like that. It seems to me you just want to wallow because if not, you would look at the real problem and quit blaming all your woes on women who won't so graciously put out to you, yeah as if you are entitled to any girl.

If you have a low opinion of yourself and on top of that women, your hand is going to be your BFF!

Agreed.

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MikeInVa
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19 Jan 2008, 4:02 pm

Dokken wrote:

MikeInVa wrote:

Dokken wrote:

MikeInVa wrote:

No, she may not of even checked her messages yet.

Well she responded saying that she'd lost her internet connection a couple days ago but unfortunately my inability to drive(medical restrictions make it virtually impossible for me to get liscensed here) that pretty much killed the deal according to her.I didn't even let on the fact that,because of my AS,depression & other health problems I can't even gain employment & am basically being supported by family members as a result.

I've sent messages to other girls in my area but they've either deleted them or havn't bothered reading them so that's what I mean by being "back to square one" so to speak.

MikeH106
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19 Jan 2008, 4:13 pm

The only response I ever got from a dating site was "your lame."

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0_equals_true
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19 Jan 2008, 4:28 pm

For cheep places to eat (at least in london) try Vietnamese or South Indian cuisine. I would ask them it that would be something they like to try first.

There are quite a number fun things to you can to just as an ice breaker that won't break the bank. Most metropolis have free events on even in expensive towns.

What do you people think about doing something like going for a (reasonably) quiet drink either before after combining it with something with a focus such as music, comedy, whatever (but nothing too flashy/expensive)?

I think that makes sense because you might not have an opportunity to talk if something going on, but you could also have time not talking just together enjoying something or not

Maybe do the something before that way you can talk about what you both thought of it.

juliekitty
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19 Jan 2008, 5:14 pm

0_equals_true wrote:

What do you people think about doing something like going for a (reasonably) quiet drink either before after combining it with something with a focus such as music, comedy, whatever (but nothing too flashy/expensive)?

Perfect.

0_equals_true wrote:

I think that makes sense because you might not have an opportunity to talk if something going on, but you could also have time not talking just together enjoying something or not

Maybe do the something before that way you can talk about what you both thought of it.

Yep.

LVBen
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19 Jan 2008, 5:43 pm

LVBen wrote:

I called again about 40 minutes later and this time it went to her voice mailbox. I left a message asking if she'd like to get lunch together on Saturday and to give me a call. She called me about 5 seconds later (so, I don't think she had listened to my message yet). We chit-chatted for just a little bit and I asked about lunch, and she said Saturday would be great and we agreed on a restaurant.

Now I need to come up with something to do after lunch. I've got a few ideas, but... Nevermind, I just came up with a great idea! I'll tell you guys after the date.

She called me at about 9:30 am and said she was too sick to go to lunch today.

I'll call her in a few days to see if she is feeling better and then ask her out again.

catspurr
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19 Jan 2008, 7:00 pm

LVBen wrote:

Now I need to come up with something to do after lunch. I've got a few ideas, but... Nevermind, I just came up with a great idea! I'll tell you guys after the date.

She called me at about 9:30 am and said she was too sick to go to lunch today.

I'll call her in a few days to see if she is feeling better and then ask her out again.

That's nice of you. Update you must.

sinsboldly
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19 Jan 2008, 8:49 pm

LVBen wrote:

sinsboldly wrote:

LVBen wrote:

sinsboldly wrote:

MikeInVa wrote:

Dokken wrote:

LVBen wrote:

This past saturday I had a date with a girl I met from Plenty of Fish and well, I basically just threw 40 bucks down the toilet by taking the girl to Don Pablo's. I'm quite bummed out, even though I didn't get along with the girl on the date. I thought she was a bit mean and disrespectful.

I have talked to her since and made the mistake of telling her I had asperger's. Now she assumes I am "disabled" and accused me of being dishonest for not mentioning that before hand.

-snip-
what is all this stuff about 'throwing 40$ "down the toilet". Didn't YOU eat? or did you just watch HER eat while you counted the minutes to see if you were going to 'get lucky?'

sheesh! save your money and buy an hour with a prostitute, then you won't have to complain!
(and ask yourself," hummm, I wonder if she picked up on my attitude and THAT's why I haven't heard back from her?"

I know I would have given you the air if I felt that from you, AS, Muscular Dystrophy, Asthma, or any other 'disability' you might have revealed or not.

but I suppose it is easier to blame it on something you can not change than something you can. . but won't.

You sound just like the kind of girl that would be a waste of money. I'd have Dutch first dates if I could get away with it.

see, you didn't spend a dime on me and already I have no respect for you at ALL!

I guess your self fulfilling prophecy just came true!

No worries! I'm not interested in gold diggers.

you miss the point. The point is I am not a gold digger. I have never been (and am vaguely insulted that you thought I might be to satisfy your narrow view of women.) But you assumed I was, and flushed me down the same john you did all the others that weren't gold diggers. Hence I mentioned that your self fulfilling prophecy came true.

Merle

Dokken
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19 Jan 2008, 10:25 pm

MikeInVa wrote:

Was she from Fairfax? Next time you should distort the truth as to why you don't drive. Say something like you're trying to be environmentally friendly or something. Tell em you prefer the metro anyways, I don't know if metro goes all the way out to your location.

I try to avoid the fact that I don't have a job myself and that my parents basically support me. I have tried working and going to school, but it's has some bad end results, like bad grades. I'm back to square one myself.

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MikeInVa
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20 Jan 2008, 5:25 pm

Dokken wrote:

MikeInVa wrote:

No,she's from Manassas like myself.If I notice in the person's profile that they're from let's say Fairfax or Centreville then I won't even bother messaging them.

I didn't tell her about my employment history(or lack thereof) because I knew that doing such would be a deal killer right there.

I was thinking that perhaps you'd be interested in writing a rough draft for me so that I can edit my POF profile so as to increase my chances of success? Obviously I'm not the best when it comes to drafting online profiles & could definitely use some help in that arena. I could PM you my POF profile so you can take a look at it & see what needs to be changed & improved upon if you'd like.

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